The World We Live In

K Google, I get it. You own me now.

Internet freedom, where are you?

Network

I may have posted this before.. But my dear friend Justin reminded me of it today.

Shivers, every time. Everybody knows things are bad.

I'm a human being. My life has value.

I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore.

We're All Fine

This brings me so much sadness today. As someone who feels as much as I do, I try and avoid exposing myself to tragic things. But after hearing stories after stories about how animals and people are being killed, and states such as Louisiana suffering from the oil moving to the beaches, I can't hide how sad this truly makes me. My thoughts and prayers go out to the families that have been affected and devastated by this, to the poor innocent animals that have to suffer from humanities faults, and to the ecosystem that has to take so much from us, and is expected to always be fine.

The Head And The Heart

At some and many points, I hit complete rock bottom. And in a sense, that's where I am right now. I have erased my white board that rests faithfully by my computer, and written down what is going to happen. I need to change, and I am going to.
Tonight, I was dealt another hand of control, or lack thereof. With this hand, I was shown my life in its entirety, and how I really am not where, or who, I want to be. It was one of those moments where I had to sit back and think, "where did I end up like this?" Where did we end up like this? It's the head against the heart, or rather, my faith against my childish ways. It's time to grow up now, Alexandra. Time to grow up to have an innocent, childlike faith. That's when you'll really start growing up.

I'm going to be taking some time away for a while. In terms of blogging, I'm not sure. But this next week is going to be a little different in my life. It is going to be a time of prayer and process, a time to reconnect to some things I've left behind. It's time I go back to the time when things were better. Things will be better, I promise.

Question of the blog:
Are you the type of person who follows their head, or their heart first?

From The Heart

It's time I get this out of my system.
I've had a lot of thoughts brewing in my body lately, so many that it's become a physical pain for me. As I scroll through the list of hosts for WWOOFing sites (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms) I have a lot of bitterness towards some, no, a lot of people that have been doubtful on my decision to participate in it. I feel like the moment I told a few people, they looked down on me like I've "changed". Like I'm not the girl they used to know. I've been feeling that a lot lately. Not even with just this decision, but with everything. My life choices are not the choices "the girl they used to know" would have done. Let me please explain something to you.
I am becoming more of the person I want to become, and no thanks to you. I live with good intentions and my eyes focused on the prize ahead, not of your expectations of me. What I participate in in my life is decided by me, and to be honest, I don't care what you think of me. On the topic of traveling, of working on an organic farm, I would have chosen to do this when you knew me back then, just as I am choosing now.
What is it with some people and the word organic? Does it make you think I will come back with dred locks, smelling like marijuana and worshiping other gods? Does it scare you that much? Wasn't is God himself who made this world and the plants organically? Wasn't it God himself who saw that it was good? It is our jobs as Christians not to destroy the earth, but to keep His creation beautiful. Give me a chance to learn more about that.
I am in no place to judge others. I fall continually and I can't even go a day without craving a freaking latte and I forget to read my bible. That gives you no right to judge me, though. I want to learn new ways to love and serve God and His people. Let me go on with my life.


I am growing up right now. I'm becoming an adult and it's scary. I am so anxious for the adventures that are to come to help me become the God-loving woman that I know He sees for my future. Why can't we all just support each other?
Thank you to my parents, and to my boyfriend, who are continually supporting me. Your faith in me means more than you will ever know.