Blossoms

Greeted with a smile,
We exchange hello's and I receive.
Close the door into my safe zone
And I sat down, alone, and wondering.
My fingers grazed the box in front of me,
Wandering every corner before opening it.
The room was dark, as was my heart
The mail was foreign, difficult to open.
I would be lying if I wasn't honest,
Did I even want this love?
My hands opened my gift, and out of nowhere..

The ceiling opened up
Revealing the bright blue sky
Cloudless, with blossoms raining
I was amazed to see such a wonder
But I wasn't shaken.. I was home
I looked down to look at the mail
Which opened itself
Like a chick leaving its shell
And colors came forth
Blue, red, yellow, childlike hues
Inflated in front of my eyes
And balloons grew out of the box
I watched as they released from their space,
And descended into the sky
They let go
As did I that day

Your Armageddon

Where were you when the world ended? I called for you, begging you to be here, holding me as I held your sweet soul. I ran down the staircase as fast as I could. People were screaming, rushing to nowhere. Large glass doors with gaudy accents of gold and silver opened to the outside world, as I watched water rising from earth. She was on a grassy hill that morphed into the color of concrete. Everything did. Geysers collided with downpours of rain, hail, snow flurries. The clouds opened and released screams of bright colors. The earth was monochrome, and I felt you. I imagined where you could be, and I found you. I opened my eyes to the realization that I wasn't meant to be in your armageddon.. you chose to face it without me.
My soul released, and I was no more.

Bringing Out My Best

What will bring you joy and confidence today?
Which qualities can you throw out today?
Who brings out the best in you?
My working hands, big heart, connection to others. My compassion, laugh. My love for you, for Him, for her.
Judgement on others, negativity towards myself. My secondary emotions, regret, insecurities about the future.
A future bride, an unconditional father, a businesswoman, someone who will travel, a yogi, the one who makes me smile.

Marker

Talking late at night, her voice was a reminder that I still had someone close. We can both take a step back and view things logically, at least I think we can. And so we did that. The gratitude I feel is more than anyone knows.

"I needed a marker for the change."

I'm glad I'm not the only one that needed the new year. And now we move forward, and seeing her chutzpah makes me want to have more of my own.  

Solstice

He sees me as some advanced human, or maybe above human
And I hope he takes those ridiculous thoughts into action to realize
That good people are just normal people, and that it's easy to be
That goodness should be human nature because it is found in nature

Limbs

I wrote this a while ago, about a dear friend of mine. I'm not sure if it still applies to them, but I like to look back on my past writings of old friends, and see how they've changed. I know I have.

Your shortness of breath has always stood out to me-
When it's heard, I think of the fall, black and whites-
A rasp that come from deep within your heavy lungs
As if something is trying to get itself out, it's been trapped for years-
And maybe, maybe that is just what it is...
Your will, navigating through life, searching for its right path-
Waiting for the perfect time to release itself from down under
Into the clean, fresh air that we call what will be-
I want that for you-
And your warm skin, soft from river trips and sun baths-
Each limb waving like branches in its favorite storm
As I watched you move with the drum, song, sound
And it moved us to a greater sense of inner mysteries
Do you still think of me? Am I a positive memory?

It Was Easter

And after speaking to one of the most inspirational people in my life today, I realized a few things.
1. I need to write more
2. I need to sing more
3. I need to photograph more
Thank you for inspiring me, my dear friend. Just watch.. by the end of this week im going to have proof I did all these things. And soon enough they'll all be back in my routine.
I love you.

And happy Easter to all of you. By His wounds we are healed.

Talks Over Tea

Image  Via WeHeartIt

Relationships in all these circles.

Sixth, Locals, and Updates

Alright kids, I'm 1/6th done with school. Well, done meaning getting my certificate to do massage. After that, I'll keep taking classes and will be conquering my next goal of 250 hours. It's been grand so far, and the hands on work has been so beneficial. I've never retained as much information from school as I am right now. The curriculum is a great mix of powerpoint we see, cd's of vocabulary we listen to, and hands on work we can feel. I am inspired and excited about this part of my life and what opportunities I will have when I have my certificate in massage therapy. I'm looking into pregnancy and infancy massage, but before I look into more classes I need to start investing in a massage table. So much money!

Yesterday I went out with some friends, and met some new ones as well. It was great getting out of the house and school, and spending time with people that are both intellectual and approachable. Friends in this town is an old concept, but it's been a new challenge. I'm grateful for my busy schedule of work and school to keep me from feeling super lonely, but everyone needs a little bit of fun social time. I'm hoping that these people will stick around while I'm in Nevada City. 

Anyways, there's a quick update on my life. Now I need to get ready for work. 

Question of the blog:

Do you feel like a "local" where you are living now? Is the term a good or bad thing?

Time To Go

Photo by Alexandra Seal

Heyburn State Park, Northern Idaho

And it seems as though life has sent me south again. To be honest, I'm bitter. I want to leave, and go to where I feel I'm wanted. I'm angry you've left me stranded here, too self-absorbed to neither fight with or for me. I'll drive south with the one that's never let me down, to be with those who make me feel stable.

It's time that I take my negative energy and put it to use somewhere else, somewhere positive, with good intentions.

But oh how I yearn to speak with you just one more time. But how you erased me, I must do the same. Self preservation at its finest.

The truth is, I miss my friendships, but I've got to move on from the ones with obvious expiration dates.

Question of the blog:

Who has been your longest standing friend?

Nothing Better.

I wish nothing more for you...

Than to enjoy the rest of your days in peace, harmony, and love. That the ones around you may love you as unconditionally as you deserve. That your heart will be renewed daily by the pure joy that surrounds you. May your walk be lovely, with the one you choose to follow. I wish you the best of everything.

Your Fire Will Lead You On

We gather together, and we pick up

Singing songs you and I both know

Wander to the nearest one

We set fire and watch it glow.

My baby's here, and she blows smoke

It fades into the fire and spins

The air changes its night course

and our backs are to the wind.

And though my love is far from here

hints of him come sneaking through

I am reminded of all that I miss

The back of my hand, old and new.

A collection of my recent past here

Memories created leave a scar

I look up to hide back these tears

And make a wish upon a star.

Your fire will lead you on,

Light your path always.

Come And Go

And the days come to you like sailors, you watch them as they drift away,

they meet the sunrise out at the horizon.

It's been a good weekend. I am very tired, still getting over this stupid cold I've had for 8 days. People that live on campus are moving back home, and it is very sad for everyone. The campus is quiet, the nights are more lonely for everyone, but it's really inspired me. The friends I've been meeting are all a part of the EF program, where they come and stay in San Diego (or wherever an Education First program is) and they live here as students, and learn English. They go to class on week days, and party on weekends. Unfortunately, they don't really experience the full American lifestyle, since it's all foreign kids living with other foreign kids. So I am really going to push my friendships with them, in hopes that they will want to journey with me and learn more about how I live my life down here. Even though I live pretty basically down here, it's still more than they get to experience. To see someone have a good time in the short time they live here, I'd do a lot. Whether it's driving them to the beach, or taking them to my favorite coffee shop, it's worth it for them and worth it for me. There's nothing like making new friends through experiences together.

So more adventures, more traveling, more late nights, more beach days.

Let the good times roll.

Question of the blog:

If you could live in ANY country, and live as a student learning their language, where would you go?

Take Comfort In That

(Image via WeHeartIt)

Ten things I love about the people I love.

1. when you remind me that i inspire you. but don't you know, you are the one that inspires me. 2. good night/good morning calls from you. 3. when i go to the post office and i have mail, handmade, from you. 4. our continuous thread of things we send each other, of images and music and things that make me laugh. 5. songs we have listened to so many times together, they remind me of you every time i hear them. 6. when you invite yourself in. 7. the way you are so adventurous. i want to be that with you. 8. having any shoulder to rest my head on. 9. Late nights when we cuddle up and spend much needed time together. 10. the unconditional love you show me, in words, in deeds, in thoughts, and prayers.

Question of the blog:

What do you love about the people you love?

Brains

Last day at home, and day 4 of this migraine that is eating my brain. Went to the chiropractor and cried like a baby for half the appointment because it hurt so bad. Finally starting to pack, have yet to shower, dinner at 6. Excited for this adventure back down to SD, but my head hurts so much I worry that I won't enjoy my time. No need to hope, I am positive we will have a great time in San Luis, like always. Then down the coast, through LA, and probably be in San Diego on Monday. Jillian is staying with me for 2 1/2 weeks, we are buying disposable cameras, playing at the beach, traveling to new places, and I am so glad for the time we will spend together. Bittersweet days. Now migraine, please go away so I can be productive and excited.

Miss Caroline

(Photo Via WeHeartIt)

My baby girl sits across the room

Big heart, open arms, bright eyes

Letting another one go for now

To heal the sick, pray, baptize

Repeating verses in her head

Remember to breath, be okay

But she is from New Hampshire

And has more strength than a brand new day

I recall the days she and I spent

Parks and trees and mountain air

Give yourself the road to heal

And let the wind blow through your hair

And sing.

The Sun Sets By Your Side

Wonderful day, wonderful friends, wonderful photos.

View more of my photography here.

South Lake

taken

down.

Tahoe.

Friends, late nights, dr. pepper, card games, sledding, fireplace, street-wide celebration, snow.

Happy new years.

In Two's.

Second ever engagement photo session with a couple. Wish me luck today.

I'd Have A Lot of Nickels

Visiting Miles in San Luis Obispo, the happiest place in the US.