Where Sailboats Go.

This was written as I sat on a bench at the beach in Golden Gardens, Seattle, Washington. To those who haven't been here, it's a part of the ocean that is nestled in the mountains of Northwest Washington, and it almost feels like lakes and rivers, rather than the Pacific ocean.

Lori Goodrich Leaman departed this world today, after battling cancer. She has been a part of my life for what seems like the entirety of it. I played with her children when we were young, I took communion by her side, I saw her every week. Lori was the perfect example of who I want to be when I grow up.. A woman with full faith in God, who trusted and loved with her all her heart. My heart is broken today, and I miss her terribly. Read slowly, while listening to this song. Reflect and pray for Lori's husband, son and daughter, and all those that mourn for her. For those mourning the loss of this incredible woman, you are not alone.

I look to the ocean, but today it is not endless.

Behind it, forests, snowy mountains. The summer breeze caresses my tears down the sides of my face. Salty waves press against the rocks, brushing their rough edges with the gentle sand. The surface of the waves glitter and crash towards the shore.

And I am not alone.

She sits beside me, simple kisses from the sun to remind me she is there. Through the trees, like soft winks and whispers, sunlight rains. I am warm, everything inside me is warm. And for the first time in my life, the ocean doesn't seem endless.

I see the other side, and I will join one day.

The sixth of July, when pain is ceased and Home welcomes a new spirit. She is joy, she is faith. She is all that you asked of her, the good and faithful servant. So I walk to join her. I walk as far as I can, over rocks and sand. I want to be there, but I am stopped by the wind. My feet stay on the dry ground as I wave goodbye.

We rest where the sailboats go.

On the bridge with the others, the fishermen wait with me, as the sun yearns for the west. There are smiles on all their faces, because we know one day we will follow.

Into the west.

Your Fire Will Lead You On

We gather together, and we pick up

Singing songs you and I both know

Wander to the nearest one

We set fire and watch it glow.

My baby's here, and she blows smoke

It fades into the fire and spins

The air changes its night course

and our backs are to the wind.

And though my love is far from here

hints of him come sneaking through

I am reminded of all that I miss

The back of my hand, old and new.

A collection of my recent past here

Memories created leave a scar

I look up to hide back these tears

And make a wish upon a star.

Your fire will lead you on,

Light your path always.

No One Compares To You

Going to stay busy today, with car tires, South Pine Cafe, laundry, and packing. I can't believe I go back to school on Saturday. Today, I appreciate having the incredible amount of freedom my parents give me. I can come and go and still feel as welcome as ever. I am grateful that I can go back to school early, and spend some time adventuring before I start classes again. Excited to spend some time in San Luis Obispo, excited to have Jillian with me for a couple of weeks. Appreciative.

Question of the blog:

Who are you thankful for?

Miss Caroline

(Photo Via WeHeartIt)

My baby girl sits across the room

Big heart, open arms, bright eyes

Letting another one go for now

To heal the sick, pray, baptize

Repeating verses in her head

Remember to breath, be okay

But she is from New Hampshire

And has more strength than a brand new day

I recall the days she and I spent

Parks and trees and mountain air

Give yourself the road to heal

And let the wind blow through your hair

And sing.

How Good?

Friends like you? So good.

Open Up

star wars shirt. running shorts. it's a funny day, with the wind blowing and the sun shining like it does every november. walking down the road, i can't help but smile. it's that still silence of the trees and fields. i'm shaky from the coffee i drank an hour ago. van morrison fills my ear. i'll take your advice and say fuck it all. tomorrow i'll chat with the art institute of seattle, los angeles, new england. what will i do, i'm not quite sure to be honest. lick my lips, pull up my hair into that messy bun you used to love. sit down at my computer and i write about children, and families, and communities, and societies. it's fun. next door my neighbors smoke in the living room, and they enjoy every second of it. and they love it and i love them and they love me. in the library, love is blooming from germany to norway and i can feel them smiling from here. it's the sound of going home. i'm in love with today and with you. thank you. beautiful ideas spill out of my mind onto this keyboard and come out completely wrong, but here it is. the french don't say i love you, but rather i am in love. that's what i am today. with nothing in particular, but with everything. and everyone. i don't have a lot, but that's what i do have. guitar strings without voices. sometimes this is just what i need. nothing is okay but i know it will be, and that's okay for now.

The Day The Sun Was Shining

Good morning.

Eight wakes me. Existence greets me with community, and others. They clap their hands, we greet each other. I hear songs from my past, widening my heart to accept your gift. Young people, babies, love, doing their best. Thoughts jumble my mind and my stomach. Grape juice in cups that remind me of my past. My heart yearns and I open myself up. Broken cisterns. Come fill me. It's 10:30.

Jon Foreman guides me up North. I park in my favorite spot. Walk in shaking, too much coffee, or something else. It is All Saint's Day, and the occasion sends us to the Book of Common Prayer. I am home, as we say the prayers I have spoken since the day I could read. I am overwhelmed. We sing my favorite hymns.

Disregard everything, just listen.

Miles Ago

Harsh lines separate the night from day,

as I wake up in foreign places after long nights.

Paint drips like water falls,

my skin is wet from those days at the river.

Black to white and ash,

Smoke rises and dissipates into thin air.

My feet up on the dashboard while you drive,

I sing those songs to the rushing air beside me.

As I recall those days ago,

the best summer of my life.

Always coming back home to you.

Question of the blog:

When was the best summer of your life?

Little Whispers

Into my ear, I hear a faint whisper

The most lovely voice, and a smile behind it,

Telling me this,

Good morning, Alexandra.

Mysteries.

That is my favorite word.

Question of the blog:

What is your favorite word in the English language?

Leaves On The Ground

I know the time has come

When weather has gone, summer to autumn.

As I drive home, the heater on,

Windows rolled up, as I sing that old song.

The one about the pretty girl

She was at an airport, with her pretty curls.

The summer is leaving now,

Coming to a close, baby take a bow.

And oh how you've changed my life,

So let's keep this goodbye from ever coming.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I cannot say it enough. I love you.

This Year, Baby

I am shopping for school this fall. I've never done this before, so it's a totally new and fun experience of lists! Of course, Andy thinks my choice of bedding is ridiculous, but I love these. My suite is all wood paneling, so I need something to brighten up the room, you know? I was also thinking of buying material and just covering one of the walls. We'll see. Until then, if you're interested in what my home for the next year will look like, watch this video of Alliant International University tour. If you're just looking for what my suite will look like, jump to 4:54 in the vid. I really enjoy how so many of my friends are interested in my life, and what my plans are in life. Thank you, that is so motivating for me in many aspects of my life, with blogging, photography, starting new adventures, and doing what's best for me. You are all such lovely people, and I thank you for the support.

Question of the blog:

How was your housing the first year you moved away?

AND

Out of the four pieces of bedding above, which would you choose?