Where Sailboats Go.

This was written as I sat on a bench at the beach in Golden Gardens, Seattle, Washington. To those who haven't been here, it's a part of the ocean that is nestled in the mountains of Northwest Washington, and it almost feels like lakes and rivers, rather than the Pacific ocean.

Lori Goodrich Leaman departed this world today, after battling cancer. She has been a part of my life for what seems like the entirety of it. I played with her children when we were young, I took communion by her side, I saw her every week. Lori was the perfect example of who I want to be when I grow up.. A woman with full faith in God, who trusted and loved with her all her heart. My heart is broken today, and I miss her terribly. Read slowly, while listening to this song. Reflect and pray for Lori's husband, son and daughter, and all those that mourn for her. For those mourning the loss of this incredible woman, you are not alone.

I look to the ocean, but today it is not endless.

Behind it, forests, snowy mountains. The summer breeze caresses my tears down the sides of my face. Salty waves press against the rocks, brushing their rough edges with the gentle sand. The surface of the waves glitter and crash towards the shore.

And I am not alone.

She sits beside me, simple kisses from the sun to remind me she is there. Through the trees, like soft winks and whispers, sunlight rains. I am warm, everything inside me is warm. And for the first time in my life, the ocean doesn't seem endless.

I see the other side, and I will join one day.

The sixth of July, when pain is ceased and Home welcomes a new spirit. She is joy, she is faith. She is all that you asked of her, the good and faithful servant. So I walk to join her. I walk as far as I can, over rocks and sand. I want to be there, but I am stopped by the wind. My feet stay on the dry ground as I wave goodbye.

We rest where the sailboats go.

On the bridge with the others, the fishermen wait with me, as the sun yearns for the west. There are smiles on all their faces, because we know one day we will follow.

Into the west.

Your Fire Will Lead You On

We gather together, and we pick up

Singing songs you and I both know

Wander to the nearest one

We set fire and watch it glow.

My baby's here, and she blows smoke

It fades into the fire and spins

The air changes its night course

and our backs are to the wind.

And though my love is far from here

hints of him come sneaking through

I am reminded of all that I miss

The back of my hand, old and new.

A collection of my recent past here

Memories created leave a scar

I look up to hide back these tears

And make a wish upon a star.

Your fire will lead you on,

Light your path always.

Come And Go

And the days come to you like sailors, you watch them as they drift away,

they meet the sunrise out at the horizon.

It's been a good weekend. I am very tired, still getting over this stupid cold I've had for 8 days. People that live on campus are moving back home, and it is very sad for everyone. The campus is quiet, the nights are more lonely for everyone, but it's really inspired me. The friends I've been meeting are all a part of the EF program, where they come and stay in San Diego (or wherever an Education First program is) and they live here as students, and learn English. They go to class on week days, and party on weekends. Unfortunately, they don't really experience the full American lifestyle, since it's all foreign kids living with other foreign kids. So I am really going to push my friendships with them, in hopes that they will want to journey with me and learn more about how I live my life down here. Even though I live pretty basically down here, it's still more than they get to experience. To see someone have a good time in the short time they live here, I'd do a lot. Whether it's driving them to the beach, or taking them to my favorite coffee shop, it's worth it for them and worth it for me. There's nothing like making new friends through experiences together.

So more adventures, more traveling, more late nights, more beach days.

Let the good times roll.

Question of the blog:

If you could live in ANY country, and live as a student learning their language, where would you go?

Off To A SLO Start

Bare feet, day and night.

Although there's pain in my chest, I wish you the best.

Best friends, sand dunes, 4 am, all of the lights.

Such a great weekend, with some of my favorite people. Adventures and good food and being together. True love.

Keep It

Keep life meaningful

Ocean tomorrow.

Splashing in the waves, clouds overhead, but that's okay, because I like it and that's what makes me feel like I'm at home.

Question of the blog:

I like the feeling of really cold ocean water. When it hits my skin, I get this rush of emotion that bursts out of my body in laughter. I laugh uncontrollably as I shiver in the water.

What is something that makes you genuinely laugh?

November

It's November, and I have no idea what I am doing.

But life keeps going, and the world keeps turning,

the waves keep crashing, the sun keeps rising,

the days keep passing, I keep smiling,

you keep loving me. Please.

A Storm Is Coming, Frank Says.

How can I say it any better? Looking down, the water curls into itself. Record highs. It swallows me whole as I focus on my heart beat. On wooden planks over the ocean, ready to be taken away. Old souls, mixed up mind, and again the pier shakes like an earthquake. The water rises, then falls. I am still looking down. As the host stares into me, I try to turn away, but I am drawn to you. Power and pain. Close to tragedy. Putting my walls up in preparation for the storm. I don't want it. I separate. I look to my cornerstone, who embraces it all. To be ready and willing for all things, oh how I long to be more like you. I can see a lot of life in you. Remain facing the waves, like a bird, plunging into the water. Do you look back at me? Let me rest. I am not afraid to die, to see you.

At last.

Good morning, ocean.

It's nice to see you at this hour.