This Too Shall Pass

The past few months, I have been living my life a little different than I ever have before. I didn't mean to change so much, I did it without knowing. One day, I just woke up, and instead of seeing my life connected, and full, and continual, I saw it in a series of moments. The best way I can describe is like this. 

As I write this, I am viewing it as a moment. In about 10 minutes, I will not be writing about this blog. This moment will be over. I know that sounds sad and a little bit morbid, but that is how my thoughts have been lately. I can feel hot air on my cold toes right now, but in a moment it will be over. 

I noticed my outlook on time and life had changed when I went in to get some blood tests at the hospital. I have a big fear of needles, especially ones that go into my veins. As I sat down into the chair, and the phlebotomist wrapped that pinching rubber thing around my arm, I started to cry. She sunk the needle into my vein, and as my body tensed, my breathing stopped and I held my breath in shock, panic and pain... I realized... 

This moment will be over. 

I looked down, breathed, and I was okay. I don't know what happened, but my view on everything made a huge turn and twist and now... Now, I am not the same person as I was a few months ago. I don't know what it is. Right now I am scared. 

Everything is a series of moments that no matter how connected they are, they feel separate to me. I feel an end. Maybe it is because I am about to have a very large change in my life. I am as prepared as I can be. I am so scared, but I know what must happen. Maybe this feeling that I have lately, goes along with this story. This is a popular Jewish folktale.

One day Solomon decided to humble Benaiah Ben Yehoyada, his most trusted minister. He said to him, "Benaiah, there is a certain ring that I want you to bring to me. I wish to wear it for Sukkot which gives you six months to find it." "If it exists anywhere on earth, your majesty," replied Benaiah, "I will find it and bring it to you, but what makes the ring so special?" "It has magic powers," answered the king. "If a happy man looks at it, he becomes sad, and if a sad man looks at it, he becomes happy." Solomon knew that no such ring existed in the world, but he wished to give his minister a little taste of humility. Spring passed and then summer, and still Benaiah had no idea where he could find the ring. On the night before Sukkot, he decided to take a walk in one of the poorest quarters of Jerusalem. He passed by a merchant who had begun to set out the day's wares on a shabby carpet. "Have you by any chance heard of a magic ring that makes the happy wearer forget his joy and the broken-hearted wearer forget his sorrows?" asked Benaiah. He watched the grandfather take a plain gold ring from his carpet and engrave something on it. When Benaiah read the words on the ring, his face broke out in a wide smile. That night the entire city welcomed in the holiday of Sukkot with great festivity. "Well, my friend," said Solomon, "have you found what I sent you after?" All the ministers laughed and Solomon himself smiled. To everyone's surprise, Benaiah held up a small gold ring and declared, "Here it is, your majesty!" As soon as Solomon read the inscription, the smile vanished from his face. The jeweler had written three Hebrew letters on the gold band: gimel, zayin, yud, which began the words "Gam zeh ya'avor" -- "This too shall pass." At that moment Solomon realized that all his wisdom and fabulous wealth and tremendous power were but fleeting things, for one day he would be nothing but dust.

I suppose I will leave you with that, so that you may have the opportunity to think about it in your own life, as well as give me time to think about it for my own.

Question of the blog:

I have rings that mean different things to me. Do you wear any rings? Do they have specific meanings, or have an interesting story to them?

Meanings and Memoirs

The other day, I was in my music appreciation class and Justin said, "are you okay? You don't look too good." And I said "Eh it's probably just because I'm not wearing makeup." And he said, "you don't wear makeup..."

Now this statement could mean two things. 

1. The makeup that I am using does not do the job. I pray to the Lord on high that this is not the reality of it, because I honestly, when I don't wear makeup I feel like this sometimes:

2. Reason number two for this statement could be that I'm doing a really good job at putting my makeup on. So well in fact, that it looks like I just stepped off my throne next to daddy Zeus and there's this epic trance music in the background going "mmts ahts mmts ahts"

I'm shooting for the latter.

(still playing the trance music in my head.)

On a lighter note, Miley Cyrus, who has been famous for about 3 years now, realeased her memoir last week. Wait.. Isn't she like, five?

Question of the blog:

Miley Cyrus's memoir: would you buy it? When do you think is appropriate age to write a memoir, and would you ever write one about your life?

A Formal Apology

To the guy who I accidentally cut off today,

I'm sorry. On very rare occasions, I am overwhelmed with the beauty of the music I am listening to, and when I come to a 4-way stop sign I don't realize who's turn it is. When this happens, I just space, and I think oh maybe it's my turn? So I go, but this time around, it was your turn. And you pulled out to go but I cut you off, and you made some rude gestures to me and a face like "wtf mate?"I didn't mean to cut you off, or ruin your day, or steal your turn. 

It was an honest mistake, and I hope you can forgive me. 

Know that if I could, I would have taken back that moment of stupidity and I would have let you go first. But time cannot be erased, nor mistakes like that be fixed. If I could have I would have gotten out of my car and given you a hug and said, "Oh, I'm such an idiot! Silly me! I'm sorry!" But alas, when in a car in the middle of the street, you must drive. Please accept this humble apology. I will be more careful from now on.

Love forever and always,

Alexandra Seal

(This might be the guy that I cut off. Maybe not, because I just found this picture on Google.)

Question of the Blog:

In a driving situation, are you the aggresive driver or the one that feels sorry for everything?

Connected! Connected! Protected! Protected!

This is going to be a quick, weird, random blog. So bear with me.

1. The title is from something my sister always sings. I miss her tonight.

2. In my quest to find Christian music that isn't played 3 billion times a day on the radio, I found some really nice songs... Except they were by a guy who is on the radio 3 billion times a day. Switchfoot lovers and haters: come together and listen to Jon Foreman, the lead singer of Switchfoot. He has nice little side projects and this song is off of his album "Fall"

3. Sometimes I get these ideas where I think, "Wow, this blog is going to be awesome. What a great idea, Zandra!" And then I get on blogger and my friend had posted a blog about the same exact thing 5 minutes ago. Perf.

4. On that note, I might as well reiterate what my friend Jonathan wrote in his blog, that I love Spring Forward. Working at a restaurant, it was eery and annoying going to work as the sun was setting. I like when the sun sets at a reasonable time.

5. I watched Tarzan tonight. I am a baby when it comes to movies in general. Make it a Disney movie and the risk of me crying probably doubles. Put animals in that movie and There is no way I can't cry. I don't know what it is. Might as well add this video:

Question of the blog:

What movie (Disney or not) never ceases to make you cry every time you watch it?

Near and Dear

I was a lot like this little girl when I was her age... All about the kittens. So adorable.

 What was your favorite animal as a child?

To Zshoozsch

I have never been one to call my family "normal."

Actually, I think my family prides themselves with the fact that we are, honestly, weird.

One thing I love about my family, is the weird names we attach to inanimate objects. 

For example: My dad does this thing. This THING! that just drives us girls crazy. He will be typing on his computer and start saying something like, "Bel-Moor-Gae-Well-Zandra... Could you.." dot dot dot.. 10 seconds later, "yes dad?" ...10 seconds later, "Could you pass me that uh.." ...he keeps typing along... "DAD. What do you want?!?!" ... "Could you uh pass me uh.. that, those nose blowing things..." 

Tissues? Of course. I honestly think I could walk to Mexico, buy myself a burrito, and walk back before my dad gets his sentences together while he is on his computer.

Ever since then, we call tissues, "nose blowing things" every once in a while.

Another great example is the ...Remote. Man, that is weird to say. In my family, we call it the channel changer. Because, honestly, what else does it do? My boyfriend still thinks it's weird that we call it the channel changer.

My favorite example as of late is what we call this little blender we have. It is a handheld thing, and at the end is this really sharp spinny blade thing, and we use it to mix drinks (especially the milk I have which has a layer of solid cream on top. SICK.) and chop up little foods. Anyways, my dad and I can never really choose a name for it, because it's not really a blender, and it's not a mixer because it's too powerful for a wimpy name like that. So we call it the "zshoozscher." I wish I could have one of the pronunciation buttons right here, so you could hear how we say it. But basically, to zshoozsch something is to blend it with this little blending mixer contraption we have.

I have become so frustrated in trying to explain how this thing looks and sounds, that I will be posting a video of it soon. So keep hitting that refresh button, I'll have the video up as soon as I.. record it, and then upload it.

So here is the question of the day for all of my blog readers: What are some of the weird names your family calls inanimate objects like this? 

PS I think I am going to start asking questions at the end of every blog post. Yes? Reactions? Anyone out there? Am I just posting these to myself?

Power of Nature

I'll admit it, I am easily amazed, but I think it is because of this quote that I am this way:

So maybe I am not crazy after all. Nature is amazing. One of my favorite things is when I see flowers sprouting through cement. It is a clear display that no matter what we build over and cover up, nature is more powerful. I was watching this tv show with my dad a few weeks ago. It was about what will happen when man no longer exists on the earth, and in a matter of a few hundred years, buildings will topple over, all will rust over and decompose as plants and animals advance. The earth will go back to how it was in the beginning, and all that will be left of human existence is stainless steel and styrofoam. 
How beautiful is that? The earth will fix itself. It is its own band-aid.
Nature is a beautiful and powerful thing. So here is to you, my dear friendly flowers, you little ants and every cloud in the sky. You mean so much to this world. You have the power to break through cement, if you just plant your roots firmly. You have the power to create armies in the ground, when humans never know you're there. You bring moisture to those who need it, you travel around the world with the power of the wind, and you can destroy anything in your path if you are big enough.
I love the earth.

Student Choreography Showcase 2009

Last night was the Student Choreography Showcase at Nevada Union, where 17 dance students were chosen to choreograph a dance to whatever song they want. It is amazing to see the young talent in Nevada County, whether it be dancers, bands, or artists. One of my very good friends, Fiona MacKenzie, was chosen to choregraph a dance, and she decided to do it to my sister's song, "Death Of A City." Before my camera died, I was able to get one full video and two half videos of the performances. 

Take My Hand by Shawn McDonald

Choreographed by Rachel Webb

Elephant Gun by Beirut

Choreographed by Rose Alicia Allen

Death Of A City by Moorea Seal

Choreographed by Fiona MacKenzie

I will try and get someone to video tape full versions of the dances tonight, so check tomorrow for that!