Friday, July 27, 2012
Your shortness of breath has always stood out to me-
When it's heard, I think of the fall, black and whites-
A rasp that come from deep within your heavy lungs
As if something is trying to get itself out, it's been trapped for years-
And maybe, maybe that is just what it is...
Your will, navigating through life, searching for its right path-
Waiting for the perfect time to release itself from down under
Into the clean, fresh air that we call what will be-
I want that for you-
And your warm skin, soft from river trips and sun baths-
Each limb waving like branches in its favorite storm
As I watched you move with the drum, song, sound
And it moved us to a greater sense of inner mysteries
Do you still think of me? Am I a positive memory?
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Wrinkled eyes, sweet smile
I am so interested that one day
I'll find what was originally meant to be
Your first number, the beginning
I'll never forget your heart
Genuine, more than anything
And your sense of giving, and forgiving
But until then, I have this
The second, the replacement
I took M's advice and was a woman,
Not just a lady
But I'd really just rather be a lady.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
In some ways I feel as though it may just be your problem, not mine.
Late nights with no one home
Afraid of all these things uknown
Arguments come from within
I see no new path begin
Wondering if I search or stay
As I wake up clouded every day
You lay there in your natural state
I'm connected like I've never been before
You've found the best love, it's you and me
Here we --
A deep red, verging on purple
Mixed with long kept secrets
Poured into a well used glass
He and his American spirit.
With high hopes and no expectations
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
It wasn't about me,
He said as he drank his morning tea.
New light was strewn across the room in which I have spent hours, maybe even days, asking for advice and making plans.
It has never been about you,
And I look up into the skylight, wondering, why can't it be about me just once? It's another cloudless day, one that will heat up quickly and seem to go on forever.
But it's never been about me, either.
I suppose, in all this separation, he is right. And I am brought back to reality, where I see him aging and I think, for once in my life, I'd love to see someone care for him as selflessly as I have. How come it can't be all about you, just one time? Know that I think you deserve it.
Question of the blog:
Who do you know that you think may deserve an extra special I love you or thank you today? Why don't you say it already?
Saturday, July 7, 2012
In the end, no matter how "qualified" I am, I'm still not very qualified. I don't have a specific skill, degree, or passion. I generally like to save money, serve others, and work as little as humanly possible. Searching through our local newspaper, CraigsList, and hearsay, I've found so many companies looking for work, but nobody wants to work for them. Look them up on Yelp, and on average have around 2 stars. Pathetic! And that's just what I told myself. After thinking about this for a while, my mind started to wander.. And this is what it came up with.
I think the job that I would flourish at, would be someone who came into businesses, set them straight and told them what they were doing wrong, re-hired people of actual potential, and then set them free to do what they need. Like that restaurant tv show, but with everything. My thought is, if you're getting reviews that your customer service sucks, why on earth would you exclusively hire snobby hippies that don't like to talk to people that aren't fellow snobby hippies? If no one wants to work for you, why on earth would you keep running a business that nobody enjoys? I'm sure you don't enjoy working for yourself, either! It's just so sad to think that businesses in my home town aren't trying their damn hardest to be a 5 star kind of place. If they all were, I think our town could potentially have thousands more tourists, and who wouldn't want that?
Unfortunately, I have no history or skill to do this kind of job, but it's a thought. Maybe one day I'll walk into one of these places, tell them straight up how it is, and how I want to work for them, and maybe I'll actually get hired. Until then.. Let's hope BriarPatch liked me enough that I can get discounted groceries and a part time job. In that order. Mmm.. Food..
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Alas, I have lost 3 versions of my resume today, as well as spending 2 hours filling in an online template that ended up wanting to charge me $6 just to save the final product. Needless to say, I am beyond fed up with writing my Experiences and Skills. Or lack thereof.
I have been invited to live in a very interesting home, ironically down the street from my family's house. I think this is going to be an incredible experience. Lots of learning, lots of loving, lots of creativity and minds being open and hearts being worked.
Please, God, open my heart and my eyes to see the beauty in all people. Please send me reminders that I am loved and that I am making the right decisions. Please inspire my imagination through these new experiences. I am going to wake up tomorrow, and this is all going to work.
Let's start it all over.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Although you think no one sees, I am all seeing
I am all watching, I will find you, in the deepest depths
The Taurean within will surprise you, in the worst way
I will make certain of just a few things:
One, you will never have the chance to hurt again
Two, the beautiful light will never be shown on your hideous face
Three, I will destroy every good word of you
And my rage will consume you, forever
Although, as I write these promises, I am confused
I start to see both sides, the relationship between you
And I see that neither of you ever loved this
This soul is once again alone, shattered, defeated
Fuck you, for defining my existence
This promise is made to you, and to you:
Crossing my path will be the worst fate you will ever choose
And I swear to all that is above, I will keep that promise
Like you never kept for me