Thursday, December 22, 2011

San Francisco tomorrow. Sorry I haven't been posting much lately, I'm just so busy!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


I wanted to send it through letters, plural. You asked me not to.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

A Very Specific Sense

‎"[He] had always suspected that people who regularly used the word 'community' were using it in a very specific sense that excluded him and everyone he knew."

(Quote via Good Omens, Image via WeHeartIt)

Friday, November 25, 2011

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Make You Feel

Ugh, I'm melting. Adele's voice is so smooth and beautiful.
This is her performance at the Royal Albert Hall. She covered Bob Dylan's "Make You Feel My Love" as a tribute to the late Amy Winehouse. The audience was encourage to raise their phones and cameras so that the late singer could see them "from upstairs". Such a sweet performance, and a beautiful dedication.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Just Sayin'...

If you really want to occupy wall street..

De-Occupy Black Friday!

If you want beautiful JEWELRY, visit my sister's shop!
Handmade in Seattle WA, great prices, made with love.

(Studded Leather Bracelets, Tribal Queen Necklace
Crystal Castle Necklace, Golden Rhinestone Headpiece)

That's all I really have to say about Occupy Wall Street. I respect those who are participating in OWS, we all have to do our thing and fight for the things that we believe are rightfully ours as human beings. I pray that all those participating stay safe, and find peace and satisfaction. As for me, this place is not my home, and I have no hope that leaders will restore perfect balance in the world. The earth is temporary and full of pain. We all have the ability to ease that hurt, with love, peace, compassion. Take care of others, take care of yourself, and do your best in everything. Love the earth. That was my pure and honest hippie rant, hope you enjoyed.

Question of the blog:
Do you celebrate Black Friday? What are your thoughts on this year's Black Thursday?
Personally, I have never celebrated Black Friday, and usually celebrate the day after thanksgiving as a day I stay in the house, and don't spend anything.

Let Me Go

Looking down to a heavy heart
Removed the locket from my chest
I was given back the key
And asked to keep it, and the rest
Damage done, and time will tell
Short embrace, how I've been blessed
And although right now I am not it
know that you deserve the best

(image via WeHeartIt)

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Stories From The Wilde

Image Via WeHeartIt

you can never be overdressed or overeducated.
-Oscar Wilde

Lost & Found

The other night, I came home pretty late and dropped my phone somewhere. I am the type of person to always have my phone with me, if not anything else, so a moment like this usually results in panic, a sleepless night, or thoughts of Oh no... Another few hundred dollars down the drain... But for some reason, I shrugged it off, went inside, got into bed and snuggled my pup until morning. I had no alarm, but I didn't care. I gave no thought that I had just worked, been at two different bars, and driven around town. My phone could have been anywhere.
The next morning, I woke up in total peace and tranquility. I walked out to my car thinking, if it's not in here, it's not a problem. It's just a phone. Must have been that thought that made the sweatshirt pocket gods smile down upon me, because I found it in the back seat of my car (back seat, I have no idea why.. I never go back there). Since then, I'm a little less attached to my phone. Not that I'd find it great and wonderful to lose it, but I've come to terms that if and when our paths separate, I think I'm gonna be okay.
I just stumbled upon this image, among others. I can only imagine my Apple friends shuddering in their office chairs as they view these images.

Question of the blog:
Finish this sentence: I never leave the house without _________.

Wash Away

Image Source Unknown

On this Sunday, like every other one, we sit in the rain and yearn to wash away.

Monday, November 14, 2011


Thursday, November 10, 2011

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Wednesday, On Thursday

I heart holidays. So excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Gonna Be Friends

This is lovely. There is truly nothing I love more than to see humans overcoming obstacles and thriving. Children are such an inspiration for me. Enjoy this great little video, and count your blessings.

Question of the blog:
What are you thankful for?

Friday, November 4, 2011

Double Rainbow Worthy Night Of Celebration

Image Via WeHeartIt

So... Tomorrow is Cinco De Mayo's half birthday. On a more serious note...


Hopefully I'll be celebrating either. I am in dire need of some human connection.

Question of the blog:
Are you a big celebrator of holidays, or do you lay low on occasions that involve dressing up, cheersing, and the like?

Thursday, November 3, 2011

So Happy

About Me

Morally stationed via iron will.

Three Strikes You're Out

"Well I guess I'm out of tries then"

Saturday, October 29, 2011


There's nothing I'd rather be listening to right now. I've known Trent Franks for a little over 3 years, and his music has always been worth stopping everything and just listening. This song is called Fields, on his EP "Natures". Trent is such an amazing musician, especially for being 16 years old. Listen and enjoy to music he wrote for each part and performed on his own. His older brother told me that he spent months learning drums on his own for this EP. My first memories of him were listening to snippets of pieces on the guitar that he was working on at age 13. Even then I was blown away at his potential and his connection to music.

Question of the blog:
Which song is your favorite on Trent's EP, Natures?

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Thomas Newman, Etc.

Thomas Newman as my Pandora radio mix... Climatic to say the least. I want to cry to every song. Story of my life.

You Don't Mean A Thing To Me

You said you didn't want to fade
But they did
And so did I, that day.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Planes, Love Bugs, and The Times

Leaving tomorrow for a little vacation down south.. I'll be gone for about a week, so don't expect elaborate blogs for a little while (although when have I ever been one to write elaborate blogs?). Despite being excited for this trip, I can't help but be more sad that anything. I'm going to miss my Newo Pups so much. This is the longest we've been away from each other! My heart is breaking.

Question of the blog:
You have a few hours to kill. What do you do while you wait?

Talks Over Tea

Image  Via WeHeartIt
Relationships in all these circles.

Monday, October 24, 2011


Dad and I at my graduation from massage school, Oct. 21, 2011. I love you Daddy <3
He holds the bottle that backs the story to the brain.

Abduction and Supination

A stranger reached out to me.

Image Via WeHeartIt

Sunday, October 23, 2011


Oh, baby girl
It was just you and I together
And for the first time, I felt it
The feeling that this was it..
I've missed it all my life, every time
But now, you're laying in front of me
In your natural state that you love best
I wouldn't quite call it love
Just the satisfaction, that you are here, and so am I. And there's no other place either of us want to be. I've let go of my past, and let you in. You weren't patient. You didn't have to be. You were exactly who you were, and that's all I needed. Baby, you are present in me. You are the present. You are the present I waited so long for.
The bees fly from blossom to blossom. I am present in you.
You have found the best love.

Friday, October 21, 2011

January Babies

More Capricorns in my life.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Follow Through

This is why I am proud of myself today:

I am a hard worker, and I am blessed. Thanking God every day for the godparents I had is my joy in life. I put myself through massage school, and have paid for everything on my own and with the help of the money my godparents left me when they passed away. Throughout these past 6 weeks, I have worked while going through school, and put everything in my life aside for this goal of becoming a massage therapist. Today, I passed my final with a 91%, and received my new EarthLite Harmony DX massage table in the mail. I'm not a very proud person, but today I can't help but smile at the amazing things I have done for myself. I have followed my dream through, I have worked my ass off to afford everything, and pained through tendinitis in both hands to receive my certificate. I am proud of myself today, and I know I deserve it. I have learned so much, and intend to keep learning and growing and getting better at what I love to do. I am so happy.

Question of the blog:
Why are you proud of yourself today?

Sunday, October 16, 2011

High Tides

I could erase you

and it would be like nothing ever happened.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Set Me Free

I don't know which way I'm going, but I know where I've come from.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Puppy Scratches

Newo scratched her chin and was bleeding. And no I did not cry like an overemotional mother..

Monday, October 10, 2011

Sunday, October 9, 2011

The Opposite Side Of The Couch

Image Via WeHeartIt

Months later from it all
Our lives lived from here to there
You, life, continuously amaze me
Confuse my mind
Throw unexpected opportunities
My life is not my own
Sit quietly, sip my drink
Thank God she's in between us
What could I compare it to
The moment before a smile
Sun shining behind the pines
A natural curve
Sudden shifts from you
Bittersweet neutral energy
Know I always sent you the best
I forgive you.

New Song

The sun moves toward the west
And we spend its last hour in our back yard. I lay in a hammock by myself, and watch the dogs as they play with each other around me. My skin feels as if it is glowing. The sun shines on my face and I feel a warmth that rarely comes to me anymore. I am at peace, I feel a serenity come over me, and I am not so alone. Rocked back and forth as if I was a baby once again, birds sing a new song high in the trees. Autumn is among us, and I feel it in the cold brick on my feet, the smell of trees and the sight of early evenings. My mouth does not open often, and my vocabulary is small, but I am busy with my thoughts and in my hands. I am not so alone.
I am not so alone.

Question of the blog:
Where have you found peace?


Three dogs lay around me, I am less alone.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


I am looking forward to this weekend. First time in a long time. I have plans. With friends. At airports & bars. On the massage table & different cities. At work & after work. Thank you, God. Thank you for teaching me patience.

Question of the blog:
What is your favorite day of the week?

Monday, October 3, 2011

Vocab Lesson

AWKWARD is my least favorite word.

Saturday, October 1, 2011


Friday, September 30, 2011

Raise Your Voice


Image Via WeHeartIt

Question of the blog:
What are you tonight?

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Hell yeah I have a certificate showing my completion in a Neuromuscular Therapy and Trigger Point: Tension Headaches. I'll stretch your csm any day!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Week 3

Half way there, kids. Half way there.
Can't tell you how stoked I'll be when I don't have to drive 100 miles a day 5 days a week.

Question of the blog:
What are you counting down?

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Right Side Up, and Mobile Blogging.

Alright, pets, here's the deal. this is my bed, not yours. You all have individual beds yourselves, yet I am humble and willing to share mine with you. But really, Newo dear.. If I am letting you share my bed with me, the least you could do would be to sleep with your head towards me.No one likes Newo farts, especially as wake up calls.

Also, just added the blogger app on my phone, so I am currently mobile blogging right meow. Cool ^.^ This undoubtedly means I will be blogging more often and with fervor, so enjoy that, readers. All in all, im tired, can't sleep, Newo needs to turn right side up, and Hammy joined the cuddle sesh tonight, so we'll see how much sleep I get tonight.

Question of the blog:
Are you a solo sleeper or more of a cuddle bunny?

The Last Samurai

Tell me how he died.

I will tell you how he lived.

Art by Hokusai, Image via WeHeartIt

Consoling Force

Macy, Newo, and my little sister Bella. Photographed by me, September 2011

I cannot think of any better consoling force than love. -Christopher Seal

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Pup Naps

I love you most.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Party Cats, David Guetta, & Memories

Dear friends,
I need a dance party, pronto.
Party Cat
PS- Seeing David Guetta live is my newest goal on my Life To Do List

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

Question of the blog:
Are you a dance party kind of kid?

Surprised By Saying

I'm happy to say,
I'm not looking out my window every day.
Life is easier now that you've gone.

Image via WeHeartIt
All I want to do is travel.

My boss asked me to work 3 days a week now, which gives me a little more options when it comes to buying things in the future.. I think I am going to start planning on another little road trip once I'm done with school. My ultimate goal is to travel through all 50 states, and I have yet to visit Arizona and New Mexico, among others... I'd really like to drive through at least those two states before my Israel trip in April. I wonder if I can find a travel buddy to come along with Newo and I.. Hmm.
In conclusion, my travel bug is itching, and wants some barren land where Newo and I can camp and be explorers of the world!

Question of the blog:
How many states have you been through (not counting plane layovers)?

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Sixth, Locals, and Updates

Alright kids, I'm 1/6th done with school. Well, done meaning getting my certificate to do massage. After that, I'll keep taking classes and will be conquering my next goal of 250 hours. It's been grand so far, and the hands on work has been so beneficial. I've never retained as much information from school as I am right now. The curriculum is a great mix of powerpoint we see, cd's of vocabulary we listen to, and hands on work we can feel. I am inspired and excited about this part of my life and what opportunities I will have when I have my certificate in massage therapy. I'm looking into pregnancy and infancy massage, but before I look into more classes I need to start investing in a massage table. So much money!

Yesterday I went out with some friends, and met some new ones as well. It was great getting out of the house and school, and spending time with people that are both intellectual and approachable. Friends in this town is an old concept, but it's been a new challenge. I'm grateful for my busy schedule of work and school to keep me from feeling super lonely, but everyone needs a little bit of fun social time. I'm hoping that these people will stick around while I'm in Nevada City. 

Anyways, there's a quick update on my life. Now I need to get ready for work. 

Question of the blog:
Do you feel like a "local" where you are living now? Is the term a good or bad thing?


Hope. That's something she never lacked.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A-Z's of Me!

Stole this from my big sister!

A. Age: 21
B. Bed size: Twin sized thermarest on the ground.
C. Chore that you hate: Putting laundry away, putting dishes in the dishwasher.
D. Dogs: My Newo Pups <3
E. Essential start to your day: Lots of food!
F. Favorite color: Deep purple
G. Gold or Silver:  I fight between the two a lot. I think I look best with silver, so I have a silver septum ring, and claddagh.
H. Height: 5’8 1/2" But I think I might be growing..
I. Instruments you play: A little bit of guitar, mostly singing.
J. Job title: Waitress at Sushi Q, and in 5 weeks I will be a certified massage therapist in the state of CA.
K. Kids: I love children, and one day I hope that God blesses me with a couple of them, but not for a long while.
L. Live: Nevada City, CA
M. Mother’s name: Gae Victoria Goodrich Seal
N. Nicknames: Zandra, Zanda Panda, Z, Bigzange, Zange, Sister
O. Overnight hospital stays: A few in my life. The one I remember most was the year of 7th grade, when I was admitted to the hospital multiple times because of cysts by my appendix. I never had my appendix removed, though.
P. Pet peeves:  When people leave the toilet seat up, and when people have plaque.
Q. Quote from a movie: I can quote just about every word from The Emperor's New Groove
R. Right or left handed: Right.
S. Siblings: An older and younger sister, and around 15 boys I call my honorary brothers, whom my dad has mentored and they have lived at our home at one time or another.
U. Underwear: Yes please.
V. Vegetable you hate: I love every single vegetable, except for brussel sprouts. Gross gross gross.
W. What makes you run late:  Everyone else. RAWR.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: Tons. Mostly for concussions, fractured elbow.
Y. Yummy food that you make: I can make amazing asian vegetable stir fry, and delicious pasta dishes.
Z. Zoo animal: I like pandas a whole lot, but I like the big cats the most!

Question of the blog:
Tag, you're it. Or if you don't want to answer all of the questions, answer this: What is your favorite smell?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

This Winter

Image Via WeHeartIt

It's obvious, to me and to everyone
That what once was minor flaws
Is now all that we see
And how the shadow draws

Consumption of image distortion
And perfection in every being
It's not how you picture it
This remain of you we're seeing

You'll be cold, come winter time
Everything less sweet than before
Time will tell how far things go
It's the warmer you we yearn for

If you or someone you love is suffering from an eating disorder, visit the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders online at or call their helpline at 630-577-1330

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Movie Night


Facts Of Life

I heart not having friends in Nevada County right now.

It means I can not shower and I know I won't run into anyone. Also, wish film wasn't so expensive and that I had access to a place where I could develop them myself.

Also, Bella's dog Macy feels it necessary to only snuggle on top of my clean laundry. No where else. Now I have millions of tan splinter hairs on my pile of black clothing. Gwar.

Question of the blog:
It's an Iron and Wine kind of day for me. What music are you playing today?

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Twinkle In Her Eye

Image Via WeHeartIt

I didn't write much this summer. In my travels, I expected to spend my days writing all about the things I discovered, my thoughts, my feelings. I came home with 4 pages; one of notes from my photography workshop, two pages were a letter I wrote and never sent, and one with a quote of some sort. As I look back on the quote, I try time and time again to think of where I heard it, or read it. Maybe I wrote it down because I felt a connection to it, or that it rang true to the moment I was in. Before I wrote this blog, I typed it into Google so I could write an author after it, but there was nothing. As I write this, my thoughts are leading me to think that maybe I wrote it one night, presumably in my tent with my dog Newo. A week into our trip, I realized nights got very cold in some places, so I bought a new sleeping bag for myself and gave her my old one. Before bed, I'd read for a little while by flashlight as Newo snuggled up to me.

"Are you happy?" I ask as she lays comfortably on her favorite blanket. There is a twinkle in her eye. "Me too."

Question of the blog:
What is one of your favorite quotes?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Beyonce's Pregnant... It's Destiny's Child.

My little sister and I made this video in honor of our beloved Beyonce, and her future child. She just announced she's 3 months pregnant, and we are 3,000 times excited points.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Eyes Of You

Image via WeHeartIt

And I'm eye to eye with the most terrifying stranger from the most comfortable past.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Loves Of My Life

Me, Bella, Moorea
Nevada County Fair
Grass Valley, CA
August 2011


So, who's going to be Sushi Q's newest waitress pretty soon? THIS GIRL. I cannot tell you how happy I am.

Boots and cats-ing. Because I can.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Moon Was Out

But you asked for it, and here we are. You told me so, so I

(Image via WeHeartIt)

Question of the blog:
Do you have a fear of heights?

Love To Someone Else

I suppose it means I'm not enough...

Or maybe, it's just him.

-Betty Draper, Mad Men

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Starting new chapters of life, letting old ones go.
Today marks the day where I put my deposit down for massage school. On October 22nd, I will have my certificate in massage therapy. My choice, my money, my goals. I didn't need anyone else, but I wanted and kept a few for the ride. Thank you, to those very few people that stayed, and that love me.

Sometimes I'm not sure how to catch my blog up on my life, and it comes out this half-ass thank you, and a resemblance of some list of calendar events. Sorry about that.

Question of the blog:
What's your next move? (Up to your own interpretation)

Terrible Twosome

And we are right at home.

Just you and me, pups. 

Question of the blog:
Who is your other half of your fearsome twosome? 
Finish this sentence: It's just you and me, _______

Monday, August 22, 2011

Body Clock Renovation 2011

Alright, who of you has a hard time waking up in the mornings? It's okay, I'm right there with you.
My grandmother passed away two weeks ago. She was the epitome of class, service, charm, and generosity.. And she did it all on time, with happiness, and in style. I am so inspired by her life, and I want to make some changes. My first changes have started with those three things, being on time, being happy while I do it, and doing it in style.
I just purchased my first real watch, a Michael Kors wrist watch, that's so blingin' and beautiful. My grandmother was a servant to all, especially in the education field for Southeast Asians after the huge immigration to Long Beach in the 80s. She offered so many ways to help, to teach, and to serve other people, and always did it in a manner that was humble, but not to the point of letting herself go. She had her signature red nail polish, as I blogged about before. She always had her hair done and respectable clothes and shoes. It wasn't in the fashion of looking down on those who didn't have it, but she just liked it, and she knew she deserved it. So, my wrist watch is part one of my lesson on how to live in style while also living a life that is primarily for other people. I am a servant, and I love to serve, and I love everyone.
Moving on. Being on time, guys. This is my ultimate goal. I am the type of girl that is so much more pleasant to be around when I've woken up at 10:30 am, but you know, that just isn't going to cut it anymore. I need to wake up earlier. So today marks the day of my BODY CLOCK RENOVATION 2011, where I will be waking up early and starting my day early and loving it in the process. Last night, I successfully made it to bed by 10:45, and was out by 11 pm. Despite having very realistic dreams (not nightmares. There's a difference) of the zombiepocalypse, I woke up at 8 am, drank some tea, woke Moorea up, and now, at 9 am, we are out the door to walk The Newo Pups and read at Broad Street Books, a dog friendly cafe in downtown. I am overjoyed with the thought that in a few minutes I will get some real caffeine in me, because it is way to early for me to be awake. NAY! It is just the right time for me to be awake! And I'm going to learn to love it!

Question of the blog:
What is your ideal wake up time?

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Candy Apple Red

For almost my entire life, I saw candy apple red nail polish on my grandmother's nails. It was her signature look, the perfect tie to any outfit. For her funeral, the girls in our family painted our nails that same color. The candy apple red lives on.

Question of the blog:
We all have a special person, whether it's a grandparent, aunt or uncle, or godparent, or someone just close to the family. Search deep in your memories.. Who is a special person in your life, and what is their signature? Nail polish, hat, lipstick, shoes...

The Newo Pups Adventurer

I am eternally grateful for my darling dog, Newo. I adopted her right before I left on my magnificent trip. This first photo, above, was taken on our first night camping together, in Mount Shasta, in Northern California. We played, hiked, built fires, and took the best cat naps ever.

Above, our time in Silver Falls State Park, in Oregon. So rainy, so beautiful. One of the nights I opened a bottle of rose wine to sip on after my small dinner, and read my book. Of course, I forgot a cup on my trip, so I was just drinking out of the bottle. About 45 minutes later, I look down to see I'm on my last chapter of my book, and I have an empty bottle. Needless to say, I was totally drunk. I happened to be reading Where The Red Fern Grows, all about the love between a dog and its master. For those of you who haven't read it, the last chapter is probably the most depressing end to a novel EVER. I spent the evening SOBBING alone in my tent with Newo.

This classy photo was taken in Seattle, Washington. I spent a little over a week with my wonderful sister Moorea. We had a great 4th of July, I helped model for her jewelry store, and Newo made TONS of friends. We were very sad to leave Moorea and Max, Newo's two biggest fans. She lovesss Auntie Moorea.

To be completely honest, this was the most pointless and frustrating part of our trip. I KNEW that the forest spirits or karma or omens or whatever did NOT want me at Heyburn State Park, in Northern Idaho, but I did not listen. After three days, hundreds of mosquito bites, locking my keys in my car, going hungry for 12 hours, Newo and I got out of there as soon as we possibly could. This photo captured the only smile of the trip.

Montana was amazing. Undoubtedly the best part of my entire summer adventure. Here we are, looking wonderful as always, in Lewis and Clark Caverns State Park, in South Western Montana. Newo had gotten that ball from my package of Dog Chow and it drove me absolutely nuts, but she loved it. Every day for the 5 days we were in Montana, there was an afternoon thunderstorm either overhead, or off in the distance. The time this photo was taken, it was sunny overhead, and maybe a couple of football fields away, there were huge storm clouds and lightning and thunder. We read outside in the warm sunshine as the thunder groaned. It was lovely.

We went to see some of my favorite friends in Rexburg, Eastern Idaho. Newo loved it here, because she had so many friends who wanted to play! We stayed with my favorite little married couple, who are expecting, and they were such lovely hosts. This is us at Rigby Lake, enjoying the sunshine and being annoying to Newo as always. She puts up with so much.

A truly horrendous night occurred 12 hours before this photo was taken. We went to see my friends in South Lake Tahoe, which turned out to be one night of awesome and one night of not so awesome. They knighted me with the name "Zandgrr", a personality of mine that has only been shown twice to them. Newo loved them, too. At least I had a nice lemon drop that night.

I just got back from a trip to San Diego and Long Beach, and unfortunately did not take any photos of Newo on those trips. San Diego was great, though, and we had a lovely time with some old friends that I missed very much. My trip to Long Beach was very important, as it was for the funeral and burial of my sweet sweet grandmother, whom I call Gaga. We stayed at my cousin's house, and he has a dog as well. Lhamo and Newo got along SO well, and I feel as though she finally made a real dog friend. Her very first one! I am so proud. This photo, above, was taken at the Yuba River in Nevada City. Bella and I camped at the river for the night. About an hour after this photo was taken, my grandmother departed this world. I miss her very much.

This concludes story time with Newo and Alexandra. But in fact, it's really just beginning!

I love my girl so much. Through our travels, we have grown very close, and I am so grateful she and I have ended up together. The Newo Pups has traveled 6 states with me this summer, and we intend to keep traveling around the US in the future. Since being home, we do a lot of river trips and visits to friends nearby. I can't wait to see where the road takes us next.

Question of the blog:
Where did you last travel to?
& What is your favorite form of transportation?