Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Read My Lips

bitch, I'm the

BOSS.

This Open Field

Did the ground shake beneath you?
God knows that fear was in your eyes
Whose fault was that when it fell on me?
Dandelions keep you in this open field
With a heart closed, so full of bitterness
Even open air seems to suffocate you
If only those lungs could fully inhale
Then peace could at last hold you

Monday, December 24, 2012

Hands

I sat there, with warmth ahead of me
And cold behind
As my hair, dripping with moisture
laid against my curves

My eyes remained open, through it all
The separation showed
And my focused was changed to them
the beautiful workers

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Opie

(Image Via WeHeartIt)

Affirmation

The word of the week is

Verbal

Monday, December 17, 2012

Monday, December 3, 2012

I am the human, and the sign is my existence at Starbucks


Friday, November 30, 2012

Come Close

I'mma do the best that I can do,
Cuz I'm my best when I'm with you.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Energy Consumption

A conversation on the consumption of others and the energy it holds.
How does that change my thought on each relationship and conversation I have in my daily life?
How does it change the food that I eat?
How does it change where I spend my time?

Spoken

The word of the day is:

Follow-through 
The concluding part of a stroke, carrying a project or intention to full completion.

Solstice

He sees me as some advanced human, or maybe above human
And I hope he takes those ridiculous thoughts into action to realize
That good people are just normal people, and that it's easy to be
That goodness should be human nature because it is found in nature

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

I Like To Look For Things No One Else Catches


Life's funny. To a kid, time always drags. Suddenly you're fifty. All that's left of your childhood... fits in a rusty little box. 

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

A Thank You


Thank you for the distraction. It was greatly needed.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Behind The Glass

But here, I am free
my heart and my feet
I wander aimlessly
yet I don't feel alone

Trying to fit in the box
I yearned to match you
and to be what you needed
but I was sent North

And now I touch the water
it is cold and it is rushing
closer than ever before
and yet, for some reason

I am not as scared as before

I am not behind the glass

Image Via WeHeartIt

Hold Him

You know who you are.
And you have proven to me that the law of attraction truly exists. Though, I wish that my proof would be from positive moments of speaking about you with dreamy memories. My reminders of you that come out in my words always, without fail, send you straight to me. I loath you, and I will always loath you. But I find fault in myself, because the fact is that I still offer you energy.
The other day, I released my emotions to an incredible vessel.
I told C that I often felt like I needed to beat the shit out of you before I could resolve my pain.
"That's okay," he said, "I'd hold him for you."

Blue

I'll be here waiting.

Image Via WeHeartIt

Monday, October 22, 2012

Missed

"I awake,
and I realize how big this old bed really is."

Monday, October 15, 2012

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

You Should Always Know

Wherever you may go,
No matter where you are,
I never will be far away.

Kiss me goodbye.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Aa

Tonight, my preferred word of choice is:
Alone.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Sunday, August 26, 2012

5

My justification of starting my 2.9 hour playlist of Deadmau5 is that it's night time, and normal people listen to Deadmau5 at night, and not the times that I usually do. Which include but are not limited to: morning, noon, evening. 
 
 

Saturday, August 25, 2012

East To West

Just know that you will never stop me.

You Are Carla In That I Am

JD.

Three words for you: Sucks to be.. Adding a fourth: YOU.



I am taking this moment for my own victory dance.

Question of the blog:
What events have given you cause for a victory dance?

Friday, August 24, 2012

Hardest Part

The hardest part about all of this, is while you are saying goodbye to everyone, I am reminded that you never even said hello to me. So,

hello.

And goodbye.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

SBUX

Wish I could say this to every customer ever.


BARISTA LIFE.

Monday, August 20, 2012

24, 25

But my heart and body are crying out, come back, come back. Be a circle, touching my circle on the plane of Nature.
-CS Lewis, A Grief Observed

Sunday, August 19, 2012

My Dream Was This Scene, Where..

Structural, fictional, contemporary, conservative, realistic, distopian, organization..
Words are futile devices.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Smile.

"Put a smile on your face!"
It was said to me as I walked down the street, heading back home after a long evening of spilling our hearts out to each other. My new favorite friend was honest, she told me some saying about secrets I can no longer remember, but the idea remains in my heart. I appreciate her, and her sweet smile, and open arms. I see us growing through each other.
"Oh, it's here!"
and I smile, and he laughs. And I keep walking down the street, up the hill, turn right. I see my lovely four legged friend through our window, and I am reminded that of all the company I could have in the world, my nights are best spent snuggled up by my canine.
I am smiling. Thank you, stranger, for your therapeutic smile.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Saturday, August 11, 2012

This is how I show my love.
SAIL.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I Was Born To Do This

One year since I said "thank you" to you, as Aunt Judy held the phone to your ear. I wept. I still do. But I never forgot what you asked of me. You have watched how your death did not halt my life, my adventures. In fact, your death only inspired me to live louder.
In the last year, I became a server at an incredible restaurant. I took charge, and was a great leader in my work place. I took risks in my relationships, and traveled for them. You inspired me to love unconditionally, and I worked hard for what I thought was right. I still work hard for what is right. You told me to not give up on myself, and I didn't. I wish I could tell you in person how heartbreaking and empowering it was to make the choice to move where I wanted. I wish I could call you up and cry about how much I miss certain things, people, situations. Including you. You would be so proud of the unconditional love I am learning to give to children. You would be proud that I tried my very hardest in massage school. A few years before you even became ill the first time, you wrote my dad a letter. In it, you said that we weren't allowed to miss you too much, because "this is what I was born to do." Highly spiritual, so beyond what I can fathom, your connection to God is one I yearn for.
But today, you would say that I have the Can't Help Its. And it's true. Because today, all I would really like is you again.
My sweet Gaga, grandmother, Betty Louise Houston Seal.
1.28.25-8.7.11

Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Result Of The Love

Dear T,
Thank you for the reminder:
You are the result of the love of thousands.
I needed to hear that, more than I knew.
Sincerely,
A

Words

Are you happy?
He asked as we sat there, sitting across the room from each other. He has a kind heart, gentle, and intriguing. I was confused, wondering if this was a loaded question.
Yeah, I'm happy. Are you happy?
Very, he said. Very happy.
He rested his head, smiled, and fell asleep.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

He saw it as a cry for help.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Friday, July 27, 2012

Limbs

I wrote this a while ago, about a dear friend of mine. I'm not sure if it still applies to them, but I like to look back on my past writings of old friends, and see how they've changed. I know I have.

Your shortness of breath has always stood out to me-
When it's heard, I think of the fall, black and whites-
A rasp that come from deep within your heavy lungs
As if something is trying to get itself out, it's been trapped for years-
And maybe, maybe that is just what it is...
Your will, navigating through life, searching for its right path-
Waiting for the perfect time to release itself from down under
Into the clean, fresh air that we call what will be-
I want that for you-
And your warm skin, soft from river trips and sun baths-
Each limb waving like branches in its favorite storm
As I watched you move with the drum, song, sound
And it moved us to a greater sense of inner mysteries
Do you still think of me? Am I a positive memory?

Nothing Scares Me Anymore


I know if I go, I'll die happy tonight.

God's Country

Image via WeHeartIt


My dearest told me you were outside
And everything inside of me spun
Waves of excitement, nausea
How should I react when we are face to face?
Know I looked for your face in the crowd
You are who you are, from above.

Far From

Image Via WeHeartIt

...But the story was far from over.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

I need you so much closer.

LL.

Wrinkled eyes, sweet smile
I am so interested that one day
I'll find what was originally meant to be
Your first number, the beginning

I'll never forget your heart
Genuine, more than anything
And your sense of giving, and forgiving

But until then, I have this
The second, the replacement
I took M's advice and was a woman,
Not just a lady

But I'd really just rather be a lady.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Be My Friend

someone's anyone

I Try

I would really like to know why things have still yet to work themselves out. And you better know I try damn hard. If you don't, I'd rather just let you go at this point.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Collection

This post features a collection of writings from the last 2 years that were never published, due to my feelings that they were unable to be completed. They are in no particular order. One could be from last week, another from during times that haunt me, others from dreams I had years ago that I can no longer remember. Nevertheless, i thought I would share them. Spacing separates each piece, dashes mark unfinished lines. Some obviously come in pieces, others just lines I couldn't fit into other works. The end.

_________________________________

In some ways I feel as though it may just be your problem, not mine.

_________________________________

Late nights with no one home
--
Afraid of all these things uknown
--
Arguments come from within
I see no new path begin
Wondering if I search or stay
As I wake up clouded every day

_________________________________

You lay there in your natural state
I'm connected like I've never been before
You've found the best love, it's you and me
Here we --

_________________________________


A deep red, verging on purple
Mixed with long kept secrets
Poured into a well used glass

_________________________________

He and his American spirit.

_________________________________


With high hopes and no expectations
I'd like to watch the sun go down
Sitting on a park bench..
--

I won't anticipate what won't come
But dreams still fill my mind
That even though with wings outstretched
You and I were still confined

In the invisible universe that fills my head
I cannot help but wonder
That the storm I saw in front of me
Rays of sun or bolts and thunder

_________________________________


Release me.
Send me home.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

It wasn't about me,
He said as he drank his morning tea.
New light was strewn across the room in which I have spent hours, maybe even days, asking for advice and making plans.
It has never been about you,
And I look up into the skylight, wondering, why can't it be about me just once? It's another cloudless day, one that will heat up quickly and seem to go on forever.
But it's never been about me, either.
I suppose, in all this separation, he is right. And I am brought back to reality, where I see him aging and I think, for once in my life, I'd love to see someone care for him as selflessly as I have. How come it can't be all about you, just one time? Know that I think you deserve it.

Question of the blog:
Who do you know that you think may deserve an extra special I love you or thank you today? Why don't you say it already?

I'll Always Remember

Image Via WeHeartIt
How do you like me now?

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Potential To Do

I have been applying for jobs all over town. To be totally honest, in a big city, my resume wouldn't offer much. Restaurant experience, experience with children.. But my resume in my town RULES. I have experience in two of the most well known food service companies in town. It also doesn't help that I have a last name that almost everyone knows. But that's beside the point.
In the end, no matter how "qualified" I am, I'm still not very qualified. I don't have a specific skill, degree, or passion. I generally like to save money, serve others, and work as little as humanly possible. Searching through our local newspaper, CraigsList, and hearsay, I've found so many companies looking for work, but nobody wants to work for them. Look them up on Yelp, and on average have around 2 stars. Pathetic! And that's just what I told myself. After thinking about this for a while, my mind started to wander.. And this is what it came up with.
I think the job that I would flourish at, would be someone who came into businesses, set them straight and told them what they were doing wrong, re-hired people of actual potential, and then set them free to do what they need. Like that restaurant tv show, but with everything. My thought is, if you're getting reviews that your customer service sucks, why on earth would you exclusively hire snobby hippies that don't like to talk to people that aren't fellow snobby hippies? If no one wants to work for you, why on earth would you keep running a business that nobody enjoys? I'm sure you don't enjoy working for yourself, either! It's just so sad to think that businesses in my home town aren't trying their damn hardest to be a 5 star kind of place. If they all were, I think our town could potentially have thousands more tourists, and who wouldn't want that?
Unfortunately, I have no history or skill to do this kind of job, but it's a thought. Maybe one day I'll walk into one of these places, tell them straight up how it is, and how I want to work for them, and maybe I'll actually get hired. Until then.. Let's hope BriarPatch liked me enough that I can get discounted groceries and a part time job. In that order. Mmm.. Food..

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Work It Out

Afraid that I will get the feeling that I won't leave, I have been refusing to set up my desktop computer in my family's house. Instead, I've been using our "old" lap top, which chooses when to play sounds or not, and is unable to work without being plugged in.
Alas, I have lost 3 versions of my resume today, as well as spending 2 hours filling in an online template that ended up wanting to charge me $6 just to save the final product. Needless to say, I am beyond fed up with writing my Experiences and Skills. Or lack thereof.
I have been invited to live in a very interesting home, ironically down the street from my family's house. I think this is going to be an incredible experience. Lots of learning, lots of loving, lots of creativity and minds being open and hearts being worked.
Please, God, open my heart and my eyes to see the beauty in all people. Please send me reminders that I am loved and that I am making the right decisions. Please inspire my imagination through these new experiences. I am going to wake up tomorrow, and this is all going to work.

Defeated.
Let's start it all over.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Love Song

Your slithering words down each woman's neck
Although you think no one sees, I am all seeing
I am all watching, I will find you, in the deepest depths
The Taurean within will surprise you, in the worst way

I will make certain of just a few things:
One, you will never have the chance to hurt again
Two, the beautiful light will never be shown on your hideous face
Three, I will destroy every good word of you
And my rage will consume you, forever

Although, as I write these promises, I am confused
I start to see both sides, the relationship between you
And I see that neither of you ever loved this
This soul is once again alone, shattered, defeated
Fuck you, for defining my existence

This promise is made to you, and to you:
Crossing my path will be the worst fate you will ever choose
And I swear to all that is above, I will keep that promise
Like you never kept for me

Saturday, June 30, 2012

I truly think I could not have ANY more reasons to leave this hell hole.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

ESFJ

I would love to meet you again in 18 years.
See who you will be, but I can predict it already.
You. ESFJ. Your heart is large but you can't show it.
A feeler of all things, I pray in these coming years, you are allowed to express it all.
I think of you often, always keeping you in my prayers.
Although memories have yet to be built of me...
Deep down, I hope you know a few things.
Don't you ever forget the love I have shown.
Always remember to be adventurous.
You are loved, unconditionally.
Even if it's just by me,
That can be enough.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Collection Of Writings

Annoyance - Anger - Rage

Red shelled flying creatures
Zipping drunkenly through my safe space
Their noise, a low drone
Crashing and picking themselves up again

Shit, I scream, ducking my head. As these unidentified flying objects swarm closer to the ground, each lap around us. I see the shell, a burnt orange, a warning sign. My heart pounds, not races. No, it is a steady, consistent thump that starts in my head and ends in my stomach. You are not here. No, the flying things took you away. All that is left of you is the shell of your lifeless body, burnt orange, wingless.

One, in the background

Taurean

"So naive that people with bad intentions will take you for a ride."

Monday, June 18, 2012

Be Okay

I feel like God just whispered in my ear,
"Don't worry, Alexandra. Shit's gonna be okay."

Friday, June 15, 2012

I Am Leaving Soon- Haiku

Words from head to hand
Writing lists and making plans
I no longer sleep

Monday, June 11, 2012

To Those Who Have Read

There are certain moments I wish I was a better writer.. or at least, one who could write pages worth of words. Unfortunately, I find beauty in the simplicity of a simple poem, ones that I rarely even show my closest friends. I am not more proud or feel more accomplished with the ones I post here, but I merely have the time and means to press "publish". Maybe because I don't feel the need to defend the ones posted here. I have no expectation for you, the reader, to feel anything after reading my words. In the end, these ruminations, oftentimes associating themselves in rhythm or rhyme, have absolutely nothing to offer to the world. I am satisfied in knowing this. I expect nothing to come from my ridiculous attempt to write what you might hope to be beautiful works. If you enjoy generally peaceful, regularly erratic, uneducated words, then my hope is that you feel as if you're not wasting your time. In the end, I hope I can look back on Meticulous Markings, and can somehow strewn together a path that signifies the course through my life. Positive pieces and negative nothings. I hope you get something out of it, too.

Question of the blog:
Do you write? Do you enjoy your pieces? What inspires your favorite way to express yourself in art for?

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Turn around if you feel anything,
I said to them in my mind. Turn around.

Weekend Rush

I am falling-
My favorite red shoes graze the sidewalk, then gravity becomes me as I am sent forward. In this moment, the memories concocted throughout the weekend flood my eyes, and for a moment, I am experiencing it all over again. I am telling him to slow down, but the policeman's lights are already tracking us. Red and blue, red and blue, red and blue. Lights. My right foot has lost balance and the drain takes advantage of my inebriated state. Then comes the smell of Southern Comfort, vodka cranberry, Keystone, and I could vomit once again. I throw my right hand forward, as my face comes closer to the pavement. Wine tasting and stretch limousines. Cold pizza and pinot noir. Seeing my best friend in love with such an admirable woman, one that I pray I can one day be half as lovely as. My elbow meets the street first, grinding like sandpaper. Being so proud to watch them turn their tassels, on the verge of tears as I see my inspiration. Left knee meets the ground, I am going down. 6 am and we are drinking at the bar, which was just as busy only 4 hours before. San Luis traditions I am grateful to be a part of. Right hip makes its final descent, and is abruptly stopped.. A meeting I know will be coupled by purple and black in days to come. Humbling moments and gratitude of the giving souls surrounding me. Free flowing tears and smiles on the steps outside your home.

I am back. As my eyes open and I start to sit up, the ones by my side rush to see if my broken body is okay. Adrenaline prevents me from crying from the pain, but my heart breaks as I watch my favorite bracelet of beads snap. One by one, each sandalwood bead heads toward the gutter that just took me down. I am filled with more memories, of being 10 years old with these prayer beads, of having Tibetan monks blessing them when I was a kid, of using them every takeoff and landing for the past decade, of the Coptic priest blessing them in the Holy Sepulchre.
I fell.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Twin Sized Bed

Airport bars and college grads
My sweetest souls in black and gold
Look off to see what's in store
Future doesn't seem so clear

June


This month, I get to celebrate my darling Newo Ikkin. Last year, she adopted me into her heart. In these twelve months, we have traveled over 7 states, we've moved to San Diego together, we camped, backpacked, hiked, and played a minimum of 365 games of ball.
Our lives have been totally different since we've been together. I've learned a lot of patience, as well as putting her before me. I've learned to love someone completely, despite their flaws; and I think she has, too. It's been a wild adventure so far, and I can't wait to spend many more years with my little Woofus. She does a perfect job at loving me, through her affectionate heart and her persistent nature. Even in the darkest moments of the last year, she has been a great light for me. It's so comforting to know that, even if she is an animal, she loves me unconditionally. And I love her too. Mushy gushy, stuff, I know. Get over it.


Question of the blog:
JUNE is also the month that I get to celebrate my sweet sister's birthday. We live two states away, so it is very hard to get together to celebrate with her. I hope I see her again soon. What does the month of June represent for you?

Monday, June 4, 2012

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Letters At Your Doorstep

Good morning, most beautiful heart.
Greetings, sweet symphony of love.
Today, above all other days in life,
We are here together. One.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Fervor

As evening took over day, we prepared the meal that would bring us together one last time before we slept. Simple conversation, good deeds and smiles filled the house, swirling in with the smell of a Mediterranean meal being prepared in the kitchen. My heart filled with joy as I imagined us growing closer, a family meal, that I was part of. I cleared the table to allow room for the chicken and vegetable medley. The man of the house laid the plates down, like works of art on a large canvas. The boy I know so well was smiling, happy to be in the sweet company of the ones that love him so well. I watched the peace and harmony around the table before sitting next to my favorite friend, when I realized that no meal was set in front of my black wooden chair. As politely as I could ask, where was my plate, my heart dropped. Nothing was prepared for me. I am not a part of this group, this collective of humans so consumed in themselves. I came unprepared to this gathering, where I was expected to provide for myself. Stubborn soul kept me seated through the entire meal, as I ate, my heart built walls with bricks and fresh plaster. My ears allowed nothing in, and an encore of deep drones and tones prevented all positive energy from entering. The eyes that hold consciousness fogged over. Your heart is nauseating.

I don't understand the now before the then.

Question of the blog:
Do your dreams feel like reality? How do you deal with stress and frustration?

Monday, May 7, 2012

Home in our Hearts

Wondering what life would be like with your sweet hands on my face,
The sweet comforter you were, providing the world with confidence
And a sweet grace that humbles, always conscious of the world around.
I yearn for your advice, your knowledge and experience of life
That darling smile, shining eyes, the way you forgive, and help me forget
Makes me never want to forget, and you know that I never could.
The heart you left me with is empty, and I hold it alone as I wait for you
Or, I suppose, as you wait until I join you once again, in a new world
One bright morning, as the light pours into our home in our hearts.

I will miss you forever, my sweet.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Needed someone and they weren't there.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Brains

Living life in San Diego is very strange without Andy in it. I've gone 2 days without him and my schedule is so empty without his companionship. Seriously considering going to a Padres game by myself tomorrow just because I have no one to go with. All my friends down here are married. I'd almost rather be working... almost.

Question of the blog:
What do you do when you're on your own for a few days?

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Trail Mix

I specifically eat handfuls of trail mix with a maximum of 2 m&ms in it, so that when im at the bottom of the package I just have a million m&ms. I don't know what this says about my personality but I'd like to ask a psychologist.

Question of the blog:
What's your favorite snack to munch on?

Thoughts On Today, Or Whatever.

Partly cloudy skies and positive energy
Feeling tired, like my horoscope predicted
It got every single thing right today
From my wellness, to my work ethic.

Now a chance of rain, we head to SeaLife
I have a headache, I miss Nevada City
I want to be at the Yuba, not a place like this
Looking at water through glass walls

Making plans to see my greatest friends
Ruminating on the things I have yet to do
Goals I did not complete on my timeline
Things that bother me every night and day

Whatever I'm over it.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Homeland

<p>First day back at "work" in san diego. Currently sitting in the Target parking lot while Alex naps. I am in a dilemma, because I need dog food and new pants (I have a massive rip in the crotch of my jeans), but don't have enough for both. Also I have no food. Newo pups comes first, though. Which is humbling, and of course I do it with joy. <br>
I am practicing serving with joy. In Israel, I was able to practice all the time, and the repetition was so good for me.
In short, my trip to the Holy Land was nothing short of life-changing. Not only was it a vacation from EVERYTHING I consider to be normal life, but it was everything I needed to be inspired in my walk as a Christian woman.
I saw Jewish women my age, weeping in the Western Wall tunnels at midnight. I rode on a boat across the sea of Galilee, and swam in the Jordan River. I drank wine in Cana, and sang in a church in Tabgha. I walked the streets of the old city, and received blessings from a Coptic priest. I saw Golgotha, and touched the walls of the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem.
It was all amazing. I practiced patience, experienced bible stories, sang ancient hymns, ate REAL Mediterranean food. My only regret is not forcing Andy to come with me. I missed him terribly. I missed my dog. I missed speaking to Miles, being challenged by his words and being inspired to be the best of myself.
But now, I am home, and what I keep with me from this trip consists of photos, memories, and a few trinkets. Just a few days ago, as I looked across Armageddon and the Carmel Valley, I wept as I felt the spirit comfort me, for I did not want to leave. But as life goes, we are continually moving, growing, exploring. And I am thankful for each blessing. It's bittersweet to be home, but my memories wont fade.

And I'l be back.

650 photos to sift through, once they're edited, I'll post them here. A huge thank you to Miles for reminding me of my passion to sing and to photograph. Without that reminder, this trip would have been nothing.

I've attached the only picture on my phone I took on the trip. Hopefully that holds you over until the real ones come.


Monday, April 16, 2012

Woman.

I knew as I started packing 3 days ago, that I was going to be up late tonight, finishing the deed. I leave for Israel in less than 10 hours now, and no zippers are zipped, no bags closed. FOCUS!

Monday, April 9, 2012

Paved Ways

Looking back at what was
I find myself recalling
The night that I felt infinite
Riding down the hill

Chills from the north winds
And bulky sweatshirts piled
Clear skies hold a full moon
And our blazing souls below

Our best friends beside us
Perfect peace on our faces
Coasting as I thought
In this moment, we were infinite.

This night, of all nights
Will remain deepest in my heart
I shared my inmost being
With the pavement and the stars.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

It Was Easter

And after speaking to one of the most inspirational people in my life today, I realized a few things.
1. I need to write more
2. I need to sing more
3. I need to photograph more
Thank you for inspiring me, my dear friend. Just watch.. by the end of this week im going to have proof I did all these things. And soon enough they'll all be back in my routine.
I love you.

And happy Easter to all of you. By His wounds we are healed.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

March 24, 2012

Let's start out with
I'm sorry.

It's been a while, huh? A little over a month. So to catch you up:

I live in San Diego now. Newo pups and I are living with a great family, and I am a nanny for their 1 year old son. We are the three best friends that anyone could have. 
The other day I went to Whole Foods Market to find local honey, and the best they had was honey from Long Beach. Are you serious? You call yourselves local and you can't find ANY honey within 100 miles of Cardiff?
I just bought The Time Traveler's Wife on audio book and I am totally stoked.
Newo hearts the dog beach. Speaking of which, maybe we'll go when Alex wakes up.
Newo also has 3 brothers now (I do not own any of them, they belong to the people I live with). First, Big Will is a huge chocolate lab who is terribly jealous, very loud, but also super snuggly. Jake is the middle child, a yellow lab with hip problems but is seriously the most amazing dog ever. So gentle, loves Alex, and loves to play with Newo. Bucky is the youngest, I loathe him. He's a massive English Bulldog who bites, humps, and barks at anything and everything. 
My boyfriend and I live 5 minutes away from each other. I live 3 minutes from the beach.
I am attempting to make FRIENDS. Crazy, right?

So yeah, that's my warm up for the real catch-up blog. Hope you all are fabulous.

Friday, February 17, 2012

On Other Notes..

I have been le tagged.



THE RULES
1. Post these rules 
2. Post 11 random things about yourself 
3. Answer the questions provided by the one who tagged you 
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag 
5. Go to their blog and tell them they've been tagged!



11 random things about myself:
1. I believe in Big Foot.
2. About three days after I adopted my dog, we went to the Yuba River. It was still raging and totally unswimmable, so I went with a friend to sunbathe and maybe dip our toes in. I was lying out, getting my tan on, when all of a sudden a feeling came over me like my dog was in trouble. I look around and I couldn't see her. She had jumped into the river! It was whitewater where she was, trying to climb up the slippery rocks. In a moment of hysteria, I jumped in, grabbed her 55 pound body, and threw her back onto the rock. Somehow, neither of us drowned. I mean, I can barely swim in a normal pool, let alone a raging river.
3. I love my hands.
4. My toes are currently painted a horribly bright pink/orange color but I'm too lazy to take it off. It's winter, anyways, and no one can see them when I'm wearing socks (which is always).
5. I think Twitter is a joke but I have it so I can follow Shit Girls Say, my best friend, and my amazing sister.
6. Brussels Sprouts are the worst.
7. I work at a place where I can survive by only working 2 or 3 times a week, about 5 hours each shift. I feel very blessed I don't have to work often. I have worked 4 nights this week and feel exhausted.. Which makes me think, I may never be able to work a 40 hour week ever.
8. In 2011, I drove through 7 states, 6 of which were alone with my dog.
9. The pictures in my computer are organized by Year > Season > Month > Event. It is probably the most organized part of my life.
10. I really do love baseball!
11. I am a firm believer in all things HOLIDAYS! and I love celebrations. I have dressed up every year for Halloween and trick-or-treated for 19 of them.


Questions Moorea asked!
1. Who do you feel most similar to in your family and why? 
I feel most similar to my dad. 
2. What do you wish you could say to yourself at age 13?

Love yourself.
3. How do you treat yo self? 

I love to take myself out on dates. Whether it's a wonderful meal at my favorite restaurants, or days at the dog park with Newo, I love to treat myself well. I didn't do that much when I was younger, so I consider it making up for lost times =]
4. How do you try to improve yourself?

On Christmas I made a choice to change my diet. I am eating more local, organic, vegan meals. I see how it benefits me every day! I am at a great weight for my height, my skin is clearer, I sleep better, and have no signs of depression.
5. What/Where is your favorite place to go in your town/city?

The Yuba River
6. What was your first job?

Barista at Caroline's Coffee Roasters in Grass Valley
7. What was your worst job?

I am a hard worker, and I find a lot of comfort in the fact that I am able to make money and save it. I have never had a bad job. If I did, I would quit and find a new one. There is always a way to be in the right place and doing something you enjoy.
8. What are you proud of in yourself?

I see myself becoming a woman, and it's a woman I know my grandmother and godmother would be incredibly proud of.
9. Do you have a guilty pleasure?

My Pandora stations reveal my deepest guilty pleasures. 
10. Who inspires you most right now? 

The ones who overcome.
11. What is something that you wish you could have made, invented, created or designed and why?

Anything that would make enough money to live comfortably.. And something I could be proud of. Think clean water, not a guillotine.

I TAG YOU!
-Symone Misao-
-Chelsie Caroline-
-Mollie K U-
Anyone else who wants to participate, I suppose.

11 questions for you!
1. What is your favorite nickname people call you?
2. What is the biggest obstacle you have overcome in the last year?
3. Where is "home" to you?
4. Do you have a favorite meal?
5. Where is your favorite place to run away to?
6. What is something you feel like you are taking for granted?
7. What is one of your earliest memories?
8. Are you right or left handed?
9. Do you sleep with socks on?
10. What is your favorite weather to wake up to?
11. What is the first word you think of that starts with the letter Q?

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Next Big Style Blogger Contest!

My beautiful, inspirational, lovely sister Moorea Seal is entered in Refinery29's Next Big Style Blogger, and she's depending on your votes! So click over to Refinery29 to see the potential prizes, and vote for Moorea Seal! Scroll down to see this photo and click the gray heart to vote for her. To see more of her style and what she's all about, view her blog, jewelry shop, and her style

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Black Or White

I wish Michael Jackson's music video for You Rock My World was good enough to post on here, but I absolutely hate it. Instead, I'll post another one of my favorites. To give you the real reason why I'm posting about MJ, is because a couple of weeks ago, Michael Jackson's number one hits appeared in my car. It's been in the cd player ever since, and I just can't get enough of it. So I thought I'd give a little shoutout to my main man that's been serenading me every time I drive now.



Question of the blog:
Do you like Michael Jackson's music? Which song of his is your favorite?

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The World We Live In

K Google, I get it. You own me now.

Internet freedom, where are you?

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Glory

Anyone that knows me has the firm understanding that I am absolutely in love with Beyonce. So once she announced she was expecting destiny's child, I was ecstatic! Just stumbled across this song, Jay-Z wrote featuring their little one. I have been listening to it all day, and the sweet baby in the background almost makes me cry every time. 

Love Bug


Oh boy, do I miss you!


The deepest depths of what could have happened.

(image via WeHeartIt)

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Newo Pups


I have had an incredible 7 months with my darling dog. Currently, Newo is having a puppy dream, and is probably kicking ass and takin' names in her imaginary adventures, just like her real life ones. We're so weird. Together forever. Love you Newo Pups, now move over so I can go to bed!


Young Adults

I'm just saying..
If, when you bring your family to a fancy sushi restaurant, you also have to bring an iPad so your 5 year old can play games on high volume the entire meal, there's obviously some parenting issues going on. For goodness sake, the only person paid to deal with that is a babysitter, not a waitress. The way my parents raised me was a little like this: I played, I had fun, I could be loud, but when I needed to be on my best behavior, I was on it. No excuses. I rarely see that as a waitress.
The things that I will not allow when I am a parent.

Question of the blog:
Do you think you'll ever have children?

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Nom Nom Nom

EATING
healthy . vegetarian . well . in moderation . less . and feeling more satisfied
So happy for inspiration from everywhere. After getting a new blender for Christmas, watching a few documentaries, and putting in the effort to eat well, I feel awesome. In a matter of weeks I feel better, my body looks better, I'm losing weight and sleeping better. This will be a grand year.

Monday, January 9, 2012

get me out of this wonderland.