Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
They are now on my YouTube! Check them all out, I will have about 6 of the best ones from the night up, and if people want, I will upload them all. This was my favorite song of the whole night, and the solo is by my dear friend Galen Fraser, who was my senior ball date, and is Alasder Fraser's son. And he's going to Berklee this fall. He's basically the most awesome person ever, and has a stunning voice! Listen to this and you will surely swoon. Enjoy!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
32Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. 33When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. 34Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
35The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, "He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Christ of God, the Chosen One."
36The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar 37and said, "If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself."
38There was a written notice above him, which read:|sc THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.
39One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: "Aren't you the Christ? Save yourself and us!"
40But the other criminal rebuked him. "Don't you fear God," he said, "since you are under the same sentence? 41We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong."
42Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom."
43Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."
(Self portrait. January, 2009)
I love my prayer beads. I feel like I have had prayer beads in my hand since the day I was brought into the world. I have little memories of my dad's prayer beads, and of visiting Buddhist monks with those little wooden spheres wrapped around their wrists. I have always found so much peace in my sandalwood beads, and the mantra I was raised that goes along with them. My dad always told me, as a kid, to roll the beads in my hands, from one to the next and all around the necklace. While I did this, as I rolled bead to bead in my palm, I would say, "Jesus, remember me."
Jesus, remember me. Jesus, remember me. Jesus, remember me.
Did you know that this man on the cross who said that is the only man guaranteed salvation in the entire bible? He was never baptized. He never accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. He never took communion. He was a criminal. Yet Jesus looked past all of these flaws, and saw his heart as this criminal looked back at him.
Jesus, remember me. I am a criminal, and I know I have no obeyed. But I have hope in you, I have faith in you.
Jesus, remember me.
I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.
God will not leave me comfortless. He knows me, he remembers me, because I know Him, and I remember Him. And I love Him with all that is in me. I roll this knowledge between my fingers with my sandalwood beads, and I repeat those three words that was said so long ago. I am overwhelmed by the simplistic beauty of God. What a mystery He is. So beyond human, that I cannot fathom the beautiful paradise he promises me. I am anticipating that day with so much happiness. Until then, I keep spinning. I keep reaching for the prize. I remember you, and you remember me.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Fact: Mike leaves in 4 days.
I can see the result of this combination in full view. If I don't start making plans and staying busy, I will surely get depressed very easily.
My goals this next week are as follow:
1. Do not skip any classes. This will only make you sad.
2. Do not miss any physical therapy appointments. This will calm your back down.
3. Do not spend a lot of time in one place. Especially not in your room, alone. Emo.
4. Hang out with a lot of friends, this will help you grow closer in relationships as well as take your mind off of things.
5. Learn to make a new food. Maybe creme brulee?
6. Go on a drive, or a photoventure.
7. Work my hardest, even though my mind will be on other things. Focus.
I am determined to keep my joy in the midst of a life changing moment that has the opportunity to break my spirits. This will happen. I will be a busy bee and I will be joyful.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Right now I am finding where my priorities are. I am learning how to treat people.. In a week, I will have to learn how to treat not my boyfriend, but a missionary. I am trying to decipher what means more to me in life. Where God is in everything and where I should be. I didn't charge my phone all weekend. As I write this, my phone is dying. The battery sign is flashing and if I don't put it on silent it will BEEP BEEP or bzzzz until it buzzes right off the table. Maybe I am there right now. Maybe my batteries are dying and I am in need of a recharging. My charger is going to be far away. Maybe I need a new phone all together. A new outlook on life or a new personality or a new me. As I prepare for this next Monday, I am scared. I know I am not alone in this. What I don't know is where I am supposed to be.
This reality means so much more to me than Wuthering Heights. I wish I could have been that person who turns their pain into straight A's. That has never made sense to me.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies
Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness
Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now
Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall
Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now
Monday, March 16, 2009
Diamond, you have failed me.
Question of the blog:
A completely irrelevant question to this blog, but it is very foggy outside so I thought I might ask. At night, especially when it is foggy, I am afraid I will hit an animal or lose control of my car. What weather are you scared to drive in? Is there any particular reason why you're afraid?
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
So maybe I am not crazy after all. Nature is amazing. One of my favorite things is when I see flowers sprouting through cement. It is a clear display that no matter what we build over and cover up, nature is more powerful. I was watching this tv show with my dad a few weeks ago. It was about what will happen when man no longer exists on the earth, and in a matter of a few hundred years, buildings will topple over, all will rust over and decompose as plants and animals advance. The earth will go back to how it was in the beginning, and all that will be left of human existence is stainless steel and styrofoam.
How beautiful is that? The earth will fix itself. It is its own band-aid.
Nature is a beautiful and powerful thing. So here is to you, my dear friendly flowers, you little ants and every cloud in the sky. You mean so much to this world. You have the power to break through cement, if you just plant your roots firmly. You have the power to create armies in the ground, when humans never know you're there. You bring moisture to those who need it, you travel around the world with the power of the wind, and you can destroy anything in your path if you are big enough.
I love the earth.