Monday, November 30, 2009


Give me some place with no roof. Just space to climb.

You Come Beating Like Moth's Wings

Sometimes I really enjoy school! I love classes that teach me things, while inspiring me. I like teachers that are passionate. It just sucks when you are in a class that has none of those three things, and you are expected to attend, enjoy, and pass it. I need to pass. I just don't care enough.
And there lies my problem. I've never learned to do things because I have to, but rather to do them because I want to. Sure that sounds great and all, but when I despise a class and everything about it, but have to pass, I'm in quite a pickle.

I'm done. Moth's wings.

Dear friend, as you know
Your flowers are all withering
Your mother's gone missing
Your leaves have drifted away

But the clouds are clearing up
And I've come reveling
Burning incandescently
Like a bastard on the burning sea

But you're just like your father
Buried deep under the water
You're resting on your laurels
And stepping on my toes

Whose side are you on?
What side is this anyways?
Put down your sword and crown
Come lay with me on the ground

You come beating like moth's wings
Spastic and violently--
Whipping me into a storm
Shaking me down to the core

But you've run away from me
And you've left me shimmering
Like diamond wedding rings
Spinning dizzily down on the ground

But you're just like your father
Buried deep under the water
You're resting on your laurels
And stepping on my toes

Whose side are you on?
What side is this anyways?
Put down your sword and crown

Come lay with me on the ground

I'm going to class now.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Life In Color

Apple pie and fireplaces,
warm my core and leave me feeling satisfied.
Days of thanks and warm cozy beds,
cuddle-naps and hot coffee in big mugs.
Late night talks with brothers,
searching for cat videos and new phones.

We have a very merry Franksgiving,
as babies chased kitties
who chase toys thrown by parents.
Couples dance as the men play their guitars.
I'll sing Beatles songs along with them,
the women follow with shakers,
baby Jaxson dances.

Late nights, early mornings,
this week sees little sleep.
So many outings, you see all from your past.
Who knew the bars in Nevada City held so much.
Dancing in the kitchen,
with fist pumps and booty shakes.
I missed you.

Sisters united, laughing uncontrollably.
Our serious faces never work,
and the longer we are together, the sillier we get.
Love knows no boundaries,
no matter how far away from each other,
we are always close.

Pick ups and drop offs,
bad church services and non-drowsy allergy meds.
You, me, and Food Network.
We're cute together, you know that?
A kiss goodbye,
and we're back on our countdown.

My life in color,
the autumn brings life with the fall of the leaves.
They come and they go,
but you are the ones that bring the color to me.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

The Hardest Goodbye

Nevada City, CA
November 22, 2009
More photos here

Hello beauty,
you're old and I know you are tired.
Your steps are worn, but see no feet.
My dear, you are abandoned.

Through and through the moss will grow,
what's made by man is sure to fail.
Nature's power,
and it's will,
is so much more.

We jump the fence to see you,
No one comes 'round here any more.
Your spaces are empty, paint chipping,
but I'm here.

To be honest,
I'm afraid of you. I'm afraid of what might happen.
The past is too much to handle,
three lost here,
and the instability that was held behind these walls.
You're empty, but there are memories.

It is your beauty that I capture,
I'll hold them until the photograph fades into nothing.

More Than A Feeling

More than...
What can be printed on a plaque for me,
more than what this world has to offer,
I'm giving myself up to the
sheer beauty
of this world.
The difference between you and I
is more than how we say hello.
I have feeling, I feel it all,
and I love every moment of it.
I'd take that love and passion
over anything else in this
s t a t e of e m e r g e n c y .
But I'll say welcome home, and I put a smile on.
Peace be with you,
If you believe in that.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Friday, November 20, 2009

Sisterly Giveaway!

In honor of my sister's 500th blog post on Rumination Reading Room, she is giving away a piece of handmade jewelry for free!

Here's what my sister has to say:
"In honor or my 500th post, I have decided to reveal one of the new jewelry pieces I have been working on with my roommate/new business partner Scott. And beyond just revealing it to you... I am giving it away!
I have wanted to do a giveaway for a long time now, but needed just the right occasion. And I think my 500th post is the perfect timing for a fancy gift to you my friendly readers!

I have been working on creating a line of miniature book necklaces. I love books, and I love accessories. So what could be better than combining the two! I am working on some books that can be used as tiny sketchbooks, journals, and memory holders. I have lots of different styles in the works, so keep your eyes peeled for more postings ahead filled with all sorts of treats!"

To enter in the little raffle for this beautiful necklace, head over to Moorea's blog and comment in the section below. Include your name! Moorea will be drawing the winner on Tuesday. Good luck to you all!



Today, my mom and I made delicious smoothies with blueberries, blackberries, pears, and raspberry and yogurt. It was so good! As my mom finished hers off, she walked past my room saying "healthy foood, tastes so goood.." And I burst into song. Remember this one? Sesame Street raps are the bomb.

Question of the blog:
Did you ever watch Sesame Street as a kid? What is your most vivid memory or scene from it?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Suck It

Here's the deal. I'm going to go to sleep tonight. And I'm going to wake up tomorrow. And here's what I'm going to say.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Taking Her Books To the Schoolyard, Schoolyard

Cages and hissing,
Welcome home and a new arrival.
Adding a new kitty to the family,
long haired, with thumbs to add,
my head hurts and pressure builds.
Look me in the eye,
like Wellington stares at his new nemesis,
Stop what you're doing but you keep going
you keep rolling your eyes
but I'm over it.
Headaches and belt loops and super glue.

I'm over this.
Let me fail my test in peace.
I'll paint my nails after class,
We won't talk. I can promise you that.
God, give me strength. Patience.
Cure this rotten heart that causes me grief.

Nothing feels right.

Scantrons and Taco Bell

I have a Nutrition exam tonight, and all I remember from that class is this quote my teacher said:

"What about saturated and trans fats?"
"When the Swine Flu hits and you have to live in your basement, that's when you need that fat."


This will be the most thankful thanksgiving.
I have to say thank you to all of you. You are giving all of you to me. I'll keep you safe.

Thank you for everything.

In The Spirit

Stina and I, with our school spirit shirts. Seniors '08

I just thought I'd share one of my many examples of commitment, when I point out I was dedicated to Senior Shirt Friday in high school. Every week, I wore that darn shirt. And just for kicks, I'm writing it up here so that I will remember it later on.

Question of the blog:

What was your favorite way to show your school spirit in high school? Wait.. College included I guess. I don't even know if my school has teams or colors..

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Nothing Like This

It seems as though I'm changing in every aspect of my life right now. Words become deeper, more full and with more meaning. My ideas and my thoughts are becoming more of my own, more personal and permanent. My bones ache, I'm pretty sure I'm going through late puberty part two... Is that even normal for my age?
Unintentional, it may seem, but there are things that I need to proactively change. It's sometimes so difficult to make change where your first instinct would be the total opposite. I need to work harder to create friendships here. The E in my ENFP has been destroyed by night classes, youtube, and bad tv shows I can watch for free online.
1. Must work harder to stay active during the day. I know that moving my body makes it feel better.. And will probably help it get to sleep faster at night.
2. Get outside for goodness sake. Walk to coffee shops close by rather than driving to ones farther away. It's okay to talk to people I know.
3. Pursue relationships that are present in my life and just have not taken action or initiative in. Sometimes you just have to be the person that works harder at building up a friendship.

Friday, November 13, 2009

To Be With You

"Why am I always your little baby?" -Jillian

Jillian and Zandra Photo Day.
More photos from this day on my Flickr.

See more photos on my Flickr.
Thank you for your friendship, Jillian. You are the best!

Eek Bleh!

What is it about radio songs that just make me want to die? These two songs have been playing nonstop and I cannot see the attraction in either.

1. Lady Gaga, do not want. Ra ra ooh ma ma ra ta ta. Ha ga ga la la fa fa poo poo this is awful. The only thing mildly interesting about this video is that Lady Gaga is wearing new Alexander McQueen.

2. I would never brush my teeth with Jack Daniel's. That makes absolutely no sense. Who is Ke$ha anyways and how to do you pronounce a word with a dollar sign in it?

After two horrifying songs that I never want to hear again, here are a few that I'm enjoying tonight.

Brett Dennen - Ain't No Reason. Lil cutie. I know he's older than me but he just looks like a little bebe!

Moorea Seal - Dance Me To the End Of Love. I like my sister's voice and her preciousness at the beginning of this song. hehee

Joshua Radin - Everything'll Be Alright. This song makes me so peaceful. Nice ending to my day.

Thursday, November 12, 2009


What's different about me lately? Ten things that make me wonder.

1. I have been eating more fruits and vegetables as of late.
2. I sleep less, which is not good, but still pertaining to the list of what is different.
3. Lately I've had to pee a lot more than usual.
4. My music taste is been mellow and romantic.
5. I have been having very vivid dreams lately. I love this.
6. My money saving has been bad. Very bad.
7. I have not been very motivated to take pictures.
8. The weather change has been beautiful but has driven me indoors. This will change tomorrow.
9. My blog posts: crap. I am so sorry about the lack of inspiration. And it's national blog posting month (or NaBloPoMo for short.. But that is uncomfortable for me to say.)
10. I have no food cravings. None. That is so weird.

Question of the blog:
What's different about you?

Pretty, Young Thing.

(All photos from Weheartit)

Pretty heels, faded pinks, nail polish and curly q's.
I feel so girly tonight.
And to add to the girly romance,
for your viewing pleasure. *swoon*

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


So High, So Low

Today was one of those days that you just sort of had to spend some money. And I did so. Probably too much. But now I have two new shirts and a pretty sweater thing, and my belly is filled with Mediterranean goodness.
Schools stresses me out. That's the honest truth, and in my 19 years it has not gotten any better. After a very rough night last night, a couple hours of crying today, and a phone call to our insurance, I signed up for my classes. I guess I can now go to school part time and still be on my parents' insurance, which is nice. If you're in any of my classes, let me know, eh?

Chemistry 2a : Tues. Thurs. : 12:30-5:30 pm
Human Sexuality : Tues. : 6:30-9:30 pm
Beginning Guitar : Thurs. : 9:30-11:30 am

It'll be a decent semester, I think. I've never taken less than 12 units, so nine and a half will be weird, and I am hoping it won't feel empty.. Although I heard Chemistry is a kick in the ask. 5 units of pure death. And that ask reference is from this, by the way.

he's gonna come out of the mooo-vie!

Friday, November 6, 2009

The Craft Woman Within

I love projects. I love them. I love them. Fixing and creating new exciting things I can see and touch and use. It's the crafty woman inside of me. A couple nights ago I bought one of those amazing bath shelves for our shower.. I am so happy with it. It goes from the tub to the ceiling and makes so much more room in the shower. Satisfaction! Two points for Target and their great bath section.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Frothy Thursday Would Sound Better If It Was Friday

I'm at The Spot in Nevada City, this cute little oxygen bar/cafe. I tried the oxygen, which didn't really do anything, so now I just go for tea and internet service. Nonetheless I do recommend The Spot and if you live in Nevada City, you should support new local businesses. Nudge nudge. I got a smoothie today that is so delicious, with raspberries and blueberries in it which are my favorite. The downside to that, though, is that I have little black chunks in my teeth which looks really gross. This math chapter makes no sense to me, and after Andy's help I thought I was doing well, but as the equations get longer I only get more confused. Time for a tutor. Ugh.
As I sit here, I remember what Jillian told me. Lately, I am just froth. Milk froth to a conversation that has no depth. That's probably why my blogs have been so .. vague lately. Sorry for that.
Introversion takes over. Thank you Paul for making me get out of the house. I am glad I have two classes tonight that will hopefully (crosses fingers) bring out a little extroversion in me. Time to walk back to my house. I should have worn closed toed shoes today.. It's chilly.

Question of the blog:
I am on my lap top right now, which I never used. The last time I used a lap top was when I visited Andy, and I don't remember when I used one before that. Anyways, I am having an awful time avoiding the little pad in the center, so I keep clicking off the text and then pressing delete and it going to previous pages. ANNOYING. But that's beside the question, which is this: Do you use a lap top or desk top more? Or for my iPhone friends, do you use that more?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Test in 20.
I'm listening to music on Pandora and it's seriously the best mix yet. I've favorited almost every song.
Seven sins of memory:
I love my psych class.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Part Two.

Yesterday was probably one of the best Halloweens I have ever experienced. Work was a pain but making money is my game.

All of my coworkers and I were Greek Goddesses. We all got ready together and it was so fun being dressed up fun at work. There were some HILARIOUS costumes on customers last night.. We had trucker vampires complete with butt cracks and torn fishnets, and two of my favorite customers came in with the most incredible costumes that looked like they took hours.

Then we went to the Deadbeats concert, which was so much fun! We danced the night away with hippies and simply had loads of good times.

Alex and I. We danced for hours and I was so sweaty gross. love it.

Chaney, Jillian, and someone I don't know.

Dancing, deadbeats, goddesses, hippies. So much fun. I hope you had a great Halloween too!

Question of the blog:
Yesterday, I didn't hear The Monster Mash once! This is the first year I haven't heard it play. Thriller or This Is Halloween or anything in between, what was your favorite Halloween song as a kid?