Potential To Do

I have been applying for jobs all over town. To be totally honest, in a big city, my resume wouldn't offer much. Restaurant experience, experience with children.. But my resume in my town RULES. I have experience in two of the most well known food service companies in town. It also doesn't help that I have a last name that almost everyone knows. But that's beside the point.
In the end, no matter how "qualified" I am, I'm still not very qualified. I don't have a specific skill, degree, or passion. I generally like to save money, serve others, and work as little as humanly possible. Searching through our local newspaper, CraigsList, and hearsay, I've found so many companies looking for work, but nobody wants to work for them. Look them up on Yelp, and on average have around 2 stars. Pathetic! And that's just what I told myself. After thinking about this for a while, my mind started to wander.. And this is what it came up with.
I think the job that I would flourish at, would be someone who came into businesses, set them straight and told them what they were doing wrong, re-hired people of actual potential, and then set them free to do what they need. Like that restaurant tv show, but with everything. My thought is, if you're getting reviews that your customer service sucks, why on earth would you exclusively hire snobby hippies that don't like to talk to people that aren't fellow snobby hippies? If no one wants to work for you, why on earth would you keep running a business that nobody enjoys? I'm sure you don't enjoy working for yourself, either! It's just so sad to think that businesses in my home town aren't trying their damn hardest to be a 5 star kind of place. If they all were, I think our town could potentially have thousands more tourists, and who wouldn't want that?
Unfortunately, I have no history or skill to do this kind of job, but it's a thought. Maybe one day I'll walk into one of these places, tell them straight up how it is, and how I want to work for them, and maybe I'll actually get hired. Until then.. Let's hope BriarPatch liked me enough that I can get discounted groceries and a part time job. In that order. Mmm.. Food..

Work It Out

Afraid that I will get the feeling that I won't leave, I have been refusing to set up my desktop computer in my family's house. Instead, I've been using our "old" lap top, which chooses when to play sounds or not, and is unable to work without being plugged in.
Alas, I have lost 3 versions of my resume today, as well as spending 2 hours filling in an online template that ended up wanting to charge me $6 just to save the final product. Needless to say, I am beyond fed up with writing my Experiences and Skills. Or lack thereof.
I have been invited to live in a very interesting home, ironically down the street from my family's house. I think this is going to be an incredible experience. Lots of learning, lots of loving, lots of creativity and minds being open and hearts being worked.
Please, God, open my heart and my eyes to see the beauty in all people. Please send me reminders that I am loved and that I am making the right decisions. Please inspire my imagination through these new experiences. I am going to wake up tomorrow, and this is all going to work.

Defeated.
Let's start it all over.

Love Song

Your slithering words down each woman's neck
Although you think no one sees, I am all seeing
I am all watching, I will find you, in the deepest depths
The Taurean within will surprise you, in the worst way

I will make certain of just a few things:
One, you will never have the chance to hurt again
Two, the beautiful light will never be shown on your hideous face
Three, I will destroy every good word of you
And my rage will consume you, forever

Although, as I write these promises, I am confused
I start to see both sides, the relationship between you
And I see that neither of you ever loved this
This soul is once again alone, shattered, defeated
Fuck you, for defining my existence

This promise is made to you, and to you:
Crossing my path will be the worst fate you will ever choose
And I swear to all that is above, I will keep that promise
Like you never kept for me

I truly think I could not have ANY more reasons to leave this hell hole.

ESFJ

I would love to meet you again in 18 years.
See who you will be, but I can predict it already.
You. ESFJ. Your heart is large but you can't show it.
A feeler of all things, I pray in these coming years, you are allowed to express it all.
I think of you often, always keeping you in my prayers.
Although memories have yet to be built of me...
Deep down, I hope you know a few things.
Don't you ever forget the love I have shown.
Always remember to be adventurous.
You are loved, unconditionally.
Even if it's just by me,
That can be enough.

Collection Of Writings

Annoyance - Anger - Rage

Red shelled flying creatures
Zipping drunkenly through my safe space
Their noise, a low drone
Crashing and picking themselves up again

Shit, I scream, ducking my head. As these unidentified flying objects swarm closer to the ground, each lap around us. I see the shell, a burnt orange, a warning sign. My heart pounds, not races. No, it is a steady, consistent thump that starts in my head and ends in my stomach. You are not here. No, the flying things took you away. All that is left of you is the shell of your lifeless body, burnt orange, wingless.

One, in the background

Taurean

"So naive that people with bad intentions will take you for a ride."