Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Uh, yes. No.

Today is the beginning of all of the public schools in my county. Being a high school graduate and an incoming freshman at my local junior college, i start later, but I'm still in that high school mode where now that it's mid-August, I'm ready to wake up at 6 in the morning and head off to school to sing and learn. It's weird for me to see my friends packing up their rooms, saying goodbye to them until December. This summer I became intentionally blind, because I did not want to think about anyone leaving, my closest friends, my boyfriend, even the classmates I didn't even know but saw around town and at the river. For some I still have a couple more weeks, maybe a month with them, for others I must say goodbye this week. I didn't think our last adventures as kids would be this soon, and having to grow up and be responsible would come this fast, but I think that I might be ready. I am trying to be ready. I recently grew apart from one of the closest friends I have ever had in my life, and when we went out to lunch one last time before they left for college, they told me that I wasn't appreciating the good, and that I need to remember the good things and not be so sad about everything. Although this was so hard for me to hear, I took some good from it...I am learning to say goodbye and i know that some day, I will be okay with the forced goodbyes I have and will have to make in the next couple of months. Some will be easy, it won't be hard to let go of the people I've made the same drink for every week for the past year, but for a few it will be one of the hardest things I have had to do. It will be interesting to see everyone when they come home for Christmas. Scary, exciting, quite possibly heartbreaking, but I pray that God will not let anyone grow up too fast in that time, and that the fire in my friendships will never blow out.

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