Sunday, September 28, 2008

Oh Snap.

This blog is dedicated to all of the things that scare me, in hopes that you will understand me a little bit better. Although it might just do the complete opposite and you will think I am more strange and dramatic than before.

1. I am afraid of my debit card being declined in public. I would be completely humiliated if that happened, and in turn I rarely use my debit card, especially for large purchases.
2. Being a letdown to my family. I strive to be accepted by people, a lot of the time I try much to hard and hurt myself by doing so, but my family's acceptance is more important to me than anyone else's. The thought of disappointing my parents has probably produced more stress in my life than anything else. Although I know that they will always love me no matter what, I am a doubting Thomas.
3. I am scared of driving at night. One of my biggest fears is hitting an animal (the worst would be a kitty or a squirrel) and being responsible for their death. That and a horror film coming true, and like, a little girl appears in the middle of the road and her eyes are all white or something. I don't even know. I try not to let my imagination run wild while I am driving at night.
4. I am afraid of big dogs. I worry that they have more strength than me and they generally have excess hair that sheds on my nice clothes. I am also afraid for little children when they are around large dogs.
5. Getting in a car accident/being pulled over. I am afraid of talking to strangers, talking to policemen, and since I don't know any policemen personally, I would encounter both. I am afraid of pulling over and I think that the first time i am pulled over or get in an accident, I will probably have an anxiety attack.
6. Never getting married. No real explanation there.
7. Living alone. I am afraid of everything when I am alone, and if I had to live like that on a daily basis, I'm not sure how I would survive.
8. Camping in tents. I am scared that a murderer will come and kill me... Honestly. I'm just scared. Actually, camping in general creeps me out.
9. I am afraid that I will not be able to succeed in the Dental field, and will be stuck with a crappy job like a barista or something.
10. I am afraid of eyes. I cannot watch someone touch their eye. I cannot watch someone put in contacts. I cannot use eye drops. I cannot even read about the scientific descriptions of how eyes work.
11. I am scared of hurting the earth. I do my best, recycling and unplugging things that aren't being used, but I wish I was Amish sometimes because they don't have the guilt of destroying the earth by gas and metal balloons and plastic ties that wrap around fish in the sea and kill them.
12. I am afraid of my life being cut off short before I tell people how I truly feel about them. I suppose I could solve this by just telling them now...But sometimes it is very difficult.
13. My deepest darkest secrets will be revealed. Nuff said.

I'll post more later. those are some of the most intense fears though.

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