As I write this, I am viewing it as a moment. In about 10 minutes, I will not be writing about this blog. This moment will be over. I know that sounds sad and a little bit morbid, but that is how my thoughts have been lately. I can feel hot air on my cold toes right now, but in a moment it will be over.
I noticed my outlook on time and life had changed when I went in to get some blood tests at the hospital. I have a big fear of needles, especially ones that go into my veins. As I sat down into the chair, and the phlebotomist wrapped that pinching rubber thing around my arm, I started to cry. She sunk the needle into my vein, and as my body tensed, my breathing stopped and I held my breath in shock, panic and pain... I realized...
This moment will be over.
I looked down, breathed, and I was okay. I don't know what happened, but my view on everything made a huge turn and twist and now... Now, I am not the same person as I was a few months ago. I don't know what it is. Right now I am scared.
Everything is a series of moments that no matter how connected they are, they feel separate to me. I feel an end. Maybe it is because I am about to have a very large change in my life. I am as prepared as I can be. I am so scared, but I know what must happen. Maybe this feeling that I have lately, goes along with this story. This is a popular Jewish folktale.
I suppose I will leave you with that, so that you may have the opportunity to think about it in your own life, as well as give me time to think about it for my own.
Question of the blog:
I have rings that mean different things to me. Do you wear any rings? Do they have specific meanings, or have an interesting story to them?