Yesterday, a few Wolf Mountain staff and I went to Soda Springs for a night. It was a lovely break, full of fellowship and rest. This morning, I woke up to a new day, and I was excited to be there, yet my heart just felt so heavy. I don't really know what it was. I've always just stated it as an "off day." I guess that's how I'll keep stating it until I have something better to call it.
So this will be a quick pouring out of my emotions, in the most positive manner possible.
I'm very grateful for the friends I have made at camp. I feel like I really belong there right now, and that God really wants me to be at camp, for more than just taking the role as a counselor. I had a really hard time the first two weeks feeling like I belonged there. I have changed that point of view and now know that this IS where I'm supposed to be, and that God has a purpose for me to be there. I feel as though although probably very small, that I have made a difference somehow.
I'm having a hard time staying happy. I always say, I am not happy, but I am joyful. But sometimes, I just want to be happy. Silly Alexandra likes to put a heavy weight on her heart. I think (this time around) that because I was so overwhelmingly busy the past 3 weeks, I didn't have time to think about myself or my life. But this past week has given me a lot of time for.. me. What? I had almost forgotten about all of the things that were going on in my life because I was so consumed in schedules and my girls for that week. This week off will be a time for me to confront those hardships that I am avoiding, and it will be a time for me to turn around my sadness and ask for peace.
I feel slightly uninspired to write anything else of my own right now... So I hope you enjoy that song. It is sleepy time for Alexandra.
Thank you for all who went to Soda Springs this weekend, I had a wonderful time and I am glad I got to know a few of you a little better. You are all such blessings in my life, and I know God has you at camp this summer for specific reasons. Thank you for inspiring me to advance in my faith through whatever activity we partake it. Sigh, you guys are great.