From The Heart

It's time I get this out of my system.
I've had a lot of thoughts brewing in my body lately, so many that it's become a physical pain for me. As I scroll through the list of hosts for WWOOFing sites (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms) I have a lot of bitterness towards some, no, a lot of people that have been doubtful on my decision to participate in it. I feel like the moment I told a few people, they looked down on me like I've "changed". Like I'm not the girl they used to know. I've been feeling that a lot lately. Not even with just this decision, but with everything. My life choices are not the choices "the girl they used to know" would have done. Let me please explain something to you.
I am becoming more of the person I want to become, and no thanks to you. I live with good intentions and my eyes focused on the prize ahead, not of your expectations of me. What I participate in in my life is decided by me, and to be honest, I don't care what you think of me. On the topic of traveling, of working on an organic farm, I would have chosen to do this when you knew me back then, just as I am choosing now.
What is it with some people and the word organic? Does it make you think I will come back with dred locks, smelling like marijuana and worshiping other gods? Does it scare you that much? Wasn't is God himself who made this world and the plants organically? Wasn't it God himself who saw that it was good? It is our jobs as Christians not to destroy the earth, but to keep His creation beautiful. Give me a chance to learn more about that.
I am in no place to judge others. I fall continually and I can't even go a day without craving a freaking latte and I forget to read my bible. That gives you no right to judge me, though. I want to learn new ways to love and serve God and His people. Let me go on with my life.


I am growing up right now. I'm becoming an adult and it's scary. I am so anxious for the adventures that are to come to help me become the God-loving woman that I know He sees for my future. Why can't we all just support each other?
Thank you to my parents, and to my boyfriend, who are continually supporting me. Your faith in me means more than you will ever know.

Rain, Wedding, Life and Times

To be completely honest, this rainy weather doesn't suite me right now. I'm not a rainy weather type of person. My being is changing constantly... From views to life experiences to what I choose to do. I guess it's that part of me that doesn't want the rain.

I'm sucking on these little lemon drops I got as a party gift from Brittany and Jonny's wedding. In hopes to distract myself from the rain, I'll post some photos from their beautiful night on Sunday. Enjoy.

The wedding was held at Penn Valley Community Church

First dance as husband and wife

Table arrangements, which I'm munching on as I type.

Kissing! Ooh la la!

Reception

At the end of the night, after all the dancing!

Jacob, Jillian, and I after the wedding.

Jillian, Jacob, Dustin, and Sam.

It was a lovely occasion and I am so blessed to know Brittany and Jonny.

As for today, I am going to study, and read, and go to class and it's going to be great. I'm going to make the best out of the rest of this Tuesday.

Question of the blog:
Do you ever see yourself getting married? To be honest it always freaks me out a little when people say I'll be married soon. What's soon?! When can you picture yourself getting married?

Letter To The Editor

Dear C.S. Lewis,
You know I love you dearly. The books you have written are always on your mind, your knowledge is an overflowing fountain I love to dive into time after time. But I feel like I'm pulling teeth getting through The Four Loves right now! It's taken me much to long to finish a book with 141 pages!
Nevertheless, I am motivated today. And I am going to finish it. Today. I have a list of books that keep piling up, that I want to start chipping away at. And I'm not being mean when I say this, but I think we need to go on a little break. I promise you're still on my list to read! I just have a few before you. Ones that are lighter reads. Know that you are my hero and I love diving into the waters that are your mind. This book is just a little thicker and colder than usual. Not to say I am not retaining what you have to offer! I am receiving it! Slowly but surely. I pray that the next 26 pages are not as difficult as the last 115. Wish me luck....
Love Always,

Alexandra Seal

(Clive Staples Lewis. Image found on Google)

Latte Schmatte.

I have been awake for an hour now. Andy has been helping me in my quest for a 4.0 this semester, and with that is waking me up at 9 every morning to start my mornings well. I woke up with some constant comment tea and cheerios. While I was drinking my tea, I congratulated myself for making it almost an entire week without cafe drinks. I honestly didn't think it was going to be this hard. I am fighting myself every day, probably two or three times a day, to not run down to The Spot, or drive to my beloved Caroline's Coffee for a delicious latte. Coffee is in no way an addiction, it is simply something that warms my body and eases my soul. It's a great way to pause during the day, just to enjoy being where you are. When I'm spending a significant amount of money on a pick-me-up that slowly becomes routine, that's when I know I need a little break.
I'm working on it, and getting better. So far so good.
Today is a day for reviewing pages and pages for Human Sexuality and Abnormal Psychology. It is a day for strumming my guitar, and singing whether or not my voice is super raspy from this cold. I'll eat healthy, I will observe the fasts that I am working on this Lenten season.
...But man would I love a 16oz whole milk latte extra foam right now.

Question of the blog:
Do you have a morning routine? I remember when I was in Chamber choir and woke up at 5:30 in the morning, I would complete half of my routine and then all of a sudden realize I'm awake. Does that ever happen to you?

Sing A Mighty Song

I wish I was a man sometimes... Because their vocal range sounds so much better in songs. I'm constantly switching from chest to head voice. Gr!

Question of the blog:
I wish I was the opposite sex sometimes... Because _________.

Makin' A Buzz

These are the funniest things I have seen all day.

Dead flies: cartoons by Magnus Muhr

See more of these awesomely gross fly carcass photographs on his website.
I hate the thought of dead anything, let alone creepy little flies. For some reason though, these photographs make me laugh so hard. This guy has such an imagination!

Question of the blog:
When confronted with a bug, say a large spider, are you the type of person to man your battle stations and attack with full force, or run like a little baby and refuse to enter the room again until someone else has handled the situation?

My Baby You'll Be

Some nights, before I go to sleep, I remember my nightly routine as a child. I remember how difficult it was to turn on the sink, and when I would it would come pouring out much to fast. I can remember the white sheets with pink polka dots, and Mickey and Minnie on my pillowcase. My mommy would read I Love You Forever to me, or Goodnight Moon. Long hair, tangled, always up in a ponytail. I remember crossing my parents' foreheads, God bless you and keep you. I like that memory most, because even at nineteen I still get to God-bless-and-keep my parents before bed.



I know it's far off from where I am now, but I am so excited to one day tuck my children into bed. My mother used to say to me, after teeth brushing, pajama changes, and all was said and done, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." I look forward to the day when I can say that to my little one.

Goodnight stars.
Goodnight air.
Goodnight noises everywhere.

Question of the blog:
Tell me some of your memories from when you were little.

The Own Chin

I don't think there's anything I want more than to be at the beach right now, warming up my bones and getting rid of this nasty cold I have.

And To Dust You Shall Return

(Image via Google)

"Lent, in Christian tradition, is the period of the liturgical year leading up to Easter. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the events linked to the Passion of Christ and culminates in Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ." To read more about the Lenten season, read about it on Wikipedia.


What I have given up/added on for Lent:
1. Read bible every day. I should be doing this always, but every day distractions get into my head and my mind goes elsewhere. This is a time for me to get back into the habit of studying and learning more about my faith, and the history behind it.
2. No lattes. Or any cafe drinks besides plain coffee. Incredible, I know. But really, I have a hard time buying a three dollar latte just because it's a little better than a cup of coffee that's half the price. I am not buying lattes, and if I desire caffeine that much, I will just buy a small coffee. I need to work on keeping cash in my wallet, and not spending it on frivolous things.
3. Attend class and Bible Study Fellowship without fail. I know this seems like an easy one, but it is difficult for me. I get tired easily, or I'm not feeling my best, and I start thinking about all the other things I could be doing besides going to a class that I know doesn't take attendance. I have been doing really well attending class, but I know from the past that around this time, I start to get lazy.
4. No talking behind people's backs. I always say to myself, "I don't talk behind people's backs often.." But I, like almost everyone, do all the time. This will be a difficult thing for me to follow through with, so if you ever hear me doing such, call me out. I need your help with this.

Almighty and Everlasting God,
You have given the human race
Jesus Christ our Savior as a model of humility.
He fulfilled Your Will by becoming Man
And giving His life on the Cross.
Help us to bear witness to You
By following His example of suffering
And make us worthy to share in His Resurrection.
We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son.
Amen.

Question of the blog:
What are you giving up for lent this year?

My Stardust Melody

I have been home for less than 24 hours and I am already getting sick. Give me a little while to get back to my regular state (I don't really know what that is though, because my blogging is so sporadic), and I will have some posts up soon. Until then, I am so hung up over this song. It's a jazzy sort of day.

The Battle Of A Lifetime

Nap vs. editing photos.
Who will ever win? I fight this battle every day....
Today's winner is edit photos before class.
I've got some good ones from my trip I just got back from, so with this I apologize for the lack of posts this weekend.. Actually, I'm no sorry at all. I had the best weekend ever and there's nothing that you can do about it!

McQueen Dream

Rest in peace, Alexander McQueen.

Fergalicious.

Sisters are the best.

River Days

This is what I miss today.

I miss the feeling of warm rocks,
the water that has pounded them so smooth.
They cuddle me as I fall asleep
on warm summer days that have no end.

Shining waters that reflect my heart,
my loved ones and the vision of
a new birth with the spirit.

May days with rushing rapids,
the water that takes victims and you still swim.
Forgetting towels and spontaneous dives,
Little creatures watching us.

Introverted days that lead me to the water,
I people watch and read my books.
Warm feelings and resting in the shade,
dips in the river to wet my hair.

Sun bathing and watch tans,
our mermaid rock that fits us perfectly.
Arizonas keep us hydrated,
Tevas to protect your feet.

Chatting under low hung trees,
little beaches where families rest.
My toes hang off my towel,
as I dip my toes in the warm sand.

The long walk back to the road,
we sit on towels as we climb the mountains once again.
Windows down, arms out.
Harmonies and banjo,
where freedom is the beads of water rolling off your skin.

Meticulous Markings.

Time for another change. Enjoy my new banner.

Fall 2009

Winter 2009

2010

MEOW.

I hate dogs. Okay let me rephrase that: I hate every dog on our street.
My family lives on a little street in a historic town, known for its gold mining days, busy restaurants at harvest time, and a few gems such as Joanna Newsom and Golden Shoulders. When I was growing up, my street was so much more pleasant. Still, quiet, friendly neighbors. But recent years have brought in angsty hipsters (who I have blogged about once before) and so many dogs that I want to scream sometimes. Dramatic, I know, but when the dogs across the street keep you from sleeping, or when the little terrior is constantly surveying your property for any trace of.. Well, anything, or when the multitude of canines prop themselves on our doorstep to eat the food for Outside Kitty, I just want to go crazy!
Also, I know I complain about this all the time, but WHY must Facebook change continually? I definitely woke up from the wrong side of the bed this afternoon.

(The cats and I will destroy all of them.. In time.
Also, both photos from Weheartit)

Question of the blog:
What is one of your biggest pet (no pun intended) peeves? Is there something that just pushes your buttons like crazy over time?

Red Is The Occasion

My heart is all a-flutter about Valentine's Day. Why, you might ask. To be honest, I have no clue! I have never really been one to be excited for Valentine's Day, but I think I have an idea why I am anticipating it greatly. I get to see my boyfriend, of course! That and I absolutely adore any occasion where I can dress up! This Valentine's Day, Andy and I are going on a hike at Torrey Pines State Reserve, and then having dinner at Masala, which looks incredible inside and also has a splendid menu. I just can't wait!
Also, I have this thing for red lipstick right now. I think tonight calls for some dress up and a movie. Mull over these cutesy precious photos for a while, and I'd love to hear your response to my question below.

(All photos from Weheartit)

Question of the blog:

A very close source once told me that the times I look prettiest are when I've taken time to dress up, and when I am wearing my "comfy cozies" as we say. I thought it was interesting how it was both sides of the formality spectrum that made me appear most attractive to him. I was reminded of this statement today, so now, here is your question!

Boys: Do you prefer a girl dressed up or down? Does dress up for special occasions make girls look prettier?
Girls: Do you prefer to dress up or down? When do you feel the prettiest?

Every Mile

I can go the distance.(Stolen from: Miles b. on Tumblr)

Nap time, and then work. I am feeling a little introverted today, but I promise I'll work hard. It is Saturday, and so far I have slept, practiced music, and watched Hercules.

Question of the blog:
It's rainy here. Rain sometimes makes me feel lazy, and all I want to do is build a great big fire and sleep all day. Sunlight might change that. What is your favorite thing to do on a hot summer day?

Make A World Of A Difference

Happy Friday, Blogger!

Depositing Coins

I. Am. So. Ecstatic.
Plans are already being made to buy tickets the moment Coheed announces their plans for touring in California. I woke up with a text message from one of my good friends about their preorder for their newest album. I am on my way to deposit all of the cash I have, so I can order it right now. Which is basically why I am posting this blog, to ask the question, why can't you deposit coins into your bank account through the ATM? I wish I could just go up to my ATM like a Coinstar, but just not get charged $.20 for ever dollar. You know?
Yes, I am that desperate.

And I.

Alexandra is Constant Comment tea. She is clothes right out of the dryer. Alexandra is slow shutter speed. The balance on a slackline. Macro. Alexandra is wind on hot days. A piece of paper on a wall. She is memories, stored neatly. She is squinting eyes in the sun. Alexandra is mechanical pencils, never wood. Mediterranean pasta. Creature of habit. Alexandra is your favorite sweatshirt you just can't get rid of. The sore fingers from playing too much guitar. Alexandra is the smoke that fills your lungs with nostalgia. She is the memory of falling and scratching your knee. She is big tears. Alexandra is words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time. She is the long walk in Autumn. She is number 4, number 8. Passion. Warm flannel sheets. Alexandra is the pretty shoes you put on, and the sore feet afterwards. She is the things that make you smile. The question mark at the end of a sentence. Alexandra is the comfort you come home to at the end of the day.

Facts Of Life

5 FACTS FOR TODAY

1. I love my classes this semester. My teachers are inspiring and I am motivated to do well. What a great change of pace. Psychology classes are fun, and I enjoy night classes. The atmosphere of a night class is so different from ones during the day.

2. My desk is ridiculously messy. Priority number one today is to clean it. Signs, scissors, pens, nail polish, hats, goodness gracious. Also, I had a 6-pack of Hansen's soda I bought over the weekend, and am down to two. I am repulsed at how much sugar I have been drinking. But I can't just stop, right? I mean I have two left!

3. My hands are sore from learning chords on my guitar. I am learning two songs right now that I am very excited about. I am so impressed that after only two classes in guitar, I have learned so much. Great is thy faithfulness, great is thy faithfulness, morning by morning new mercies I see.

4. I love how much better I feel after my Pilates class. It totally kicked my butt today. Let me just tell you, I have no upper body strength. Tomorrow I am going to be so sore! I forgot how much I enjoy phys. ed classes. I think next semester, my friend and I are going to take a dance class together.

5. I am going to San Diego in 8 days. I am excited to see my boyfriend, to hike Torrey Pines, to house sit, go out to fancy Indian food, and for whatever adventures are in store. Also, ocean. And hopefully sun. I am in need of some sun. And I am ready to see Andrew.

Question of the blog:
Gimme your 5 facts for today!

Their Eyes Look Ahead

Let me just indulge in some CS Lewis tonight. I am in need of it.

(all images stolen from a friend, who I miss dearly.)

"Little knots of friends who turn their backs on the "World" are those who really transform it." -The Four Loves (p.69)


"Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship, naked personalities." -The Four Loves (p.71)


"...We picture lovers face to face, but Friends side by side; their eyes look ahead." -The Four Loves (p.66)

101

"the human psyche wants closure."

Run Images Through My Head

We'll be the beasts that run away
We run around from night and day
And still I am in the same place as before.
True, I could stay just where I am
You and I, stagnant, as you hold my hand
We will never get to paradise's shore.

(photos via Weheartit)

Some Day I Wanna Make You My Wife

Today, a glimmer of hope was shining through the depressing existence of what we call radio. I'll admit that I am a personal fan of decent hip hop, but for some reason, decent hip hop just does not exist on Sacramento radio stations! It's discouraging to start up your car, and instantly these obscene images start entering your mind through what you listen to on your drive to school.
When I was growing up, all I can remember is listening to the Christian radio station. I felt sort of left out sometimes at school when the girls knew all the Backstreet Boys songs and I didn't, but now that I am older, I feel like my parents did a great thing by not playing that while we were driving around during the day. It saved me from a lot of things that I feel shouldn't be drilled into children's heads like they do now. Maybe that's my conservative thinking, but I feel as though parenting these days is, how you say, not so much.
Anyways, back to my original point, which is that I heard this song that was obviously pretty popular because in the 2 hours of driving I did today, I heard it 4 times. As I first listened to it, I was about ready to change the station, but I heard surprising lyrics that encouraged me. Today I heard music that was finally going back to real romance instead of men looking on women like they were objects to take advantage of. Maybe it's a change of tides in rap music. Maybe they will go on a love and kindness rant and maybe a little less talk about clubbing and such as. If only more people could understand who really listen to them.

I Can't Remember This...

I miss my sister tonight.
This is a video of us on New Years. Okay so maybe we had some champagne, but for reals, I didn't know we were this weird.



Question of the blog:
Have any funny videos/pictures of good times with siblings or your closest friends? Share with me.