Sometimes I get these weird waves of anxiety and chaos that I just need to lay down where I am and cry. It reminds me of when I lived in England for some reason. I can't remember a time when I ever did that as a small child, but something is just comforting to me when I lie down just where I was standing and curl up like a kitty and hide for a minute. It happens. I am up and down. I pray that one day, somebody will love me through my ups and downs. I pray for them every day.