At some and many points, I hit complete rock bottom. And in a sense, that's where I am right now. I have erased my white board that rests faithfully by my computer, and written down what is going to happen. I need to change, and I am going to.
Tonight, I was dealt another hand of control, or lack thereof. With this hand, I was shown my life in its entirety, and how I really am not where, or who, I want to be. It was one of those moments where I had to sit back and think, "where did I end up like this?" Where did we end up like this? It's the head against the heart, or rather, my faith against my childish ways. It's time to grow up now, Alexandra. Time to grow up to have an innocent, childlike faith. That's when you'll really start growing up.
I'm going to be taking some time away for a while. In terms of blogging, I'm not sure. But this next week is going to be a little different in my life. It is going to be a time of prayer and process, a time to reconnect to some things I've left behind. It's time I go back to the time when things were better. Things will be better, I promise.
Question of the blog:
Are you the type of person who follows their head, or their heart first?