...Sucky!

I decided that I need to wait a week or so before buying this camera. What I do know is that I have the money, and I'm going to buy a D40x. But my current life situation makes me too nervous and stressed out to think about a camera right this moment. With that being said..

San Diego plans are a-changing. I know I will make it down there, but I'd rather have people drive down with me. So here is a general announcement-

If you live in the Nevada County area and/or you are in between NC and San Diego, and want to join me for the drive down there and back up, I'd be willing to pick you up and drop you off wherever. I'm leaving early Friday morning and will be coming home Monday early afternoon. I'll take you down and bring you back up if you could help out with gas money. I will be busy all weekend but if you have people to see and places to go and somewhere to stay at night, I'm willing to take you to your San Diegan destination at those two times. Please contact me asap if you are interested.

Wake Up! Feel How Good It Is To Be Near Such A Thing.

Today I start my first class of my Sophomore year. Weird.
While my boyfriend was still in town, we made a delicious summer salad. Yesterday I recreated it almost to the T and it was so good. Perfectly summery, fresh and light. Romaine and baby spinach, sliced strawberries. Cranberries, walnuts, and feta cheese (my ultimate favorite). Annie's Raspberry vinaigrette and there you have it, the prettiest most lovely summer salad in the world. When Andy and I made it together, we also added tomatoes which was delicious as well. I dare you to try it.

Question of the blog:
Student or not, what are you most excited for about this semester?

Computer Biznatch.

Point one is this:
My computer has been giving me the blue screen of total rejection. And honestly, it makes me quite angry.

Point two:
Of course, it is a minor inconvenience when things like Mozilla Firefox will randomly close for no reason, but I secretly love it because then I get this cutesie little notification from them. "Well, this is embarrassing." Firefox, you redeem yourself every time when you say this.
(Just sayin'... I found this image on Google. I hate Twitter and do not have a Tweet nor do I Twit other people's Tweets [correction. sorry about the accidental vulgar word.])

Can You Paint With Alllll The Colors Of The Winddd

I was thinking about photography today, as I sat by the river and looked around me.


Sometimes little pictures flash in my mind, so I take a photograph.


I feel such a connection to photography because it is sort of like a display of how I view those little snapshots in my brain.


I wouldn't count myself a great photographer, but I find such passion in the hobby and pleasure in the result because I feel as though I have learned to recreate how I view things sometimes.


That is where I think good photography comes from- the soul of yourself.


So that's why I'm passionate about the photographs I take, because in them I feel like I can recreate that little bit of heaven I see in everything.


And I think that everyone has the ability to find heaven in the things around them. Whether it's photography or not, recognizing and capturing that beauty is important.


Seeing the heaven around you, recognizing it, capturing it. And sharing it with others, in hopes of opening their eyes to see that God is all around us and the beauty he has created on earth is just a glimpse of what is to come.

Question of the blog:
I love photography, but I will admit it: I'm awful at black and white photography! I think it's because when I have those little mental snapshots, I imagine them with such vivid color and contrast, I can't take that away in my photography. Another weird thing about me, is that I almost always dream in black and white. So my questions for you is, 1. Do you prefer black and white or color photography? and 2. Do you dream in black and white or in color?

Mere Faith: Raised On Holidays

I met a nice man today at work (I worked at Caroline's today. First time working at little store in over a year). I didn't catch his name, so we will just call him Bulgariaman. As I was making drinks for him and his surely high maintainance girlfriend (or at least what I got from her phone call to him), he saw I had been reading Mere Christianity. After a bit of small talk about The Chronicles of Narnia and such, he asked if I was religious. I explained I was raised in a Christian household and that my dad was an Anglican priest. When I was around 17 I experienced much religious freedom and was given the opportunity to decide for myself. I chose Christianity anyways.
I asked Bulgariaman about his faith, and he said, "I was raised... Confused." He explained that his mom was Catholic and his father was Jewish, so he was raised with both religion's holidays. "Then they both said, 'eff it,'" Bulgariaman said, "and we all stopped altogether. Now, if anything, I'm probably Buddhist.. But I don't know any of the sayings or anything."
Okay.?
I finished his drinks, he paid for them and proceeded to the door. "Have a nice day," I said, just like I say to everyone. "You too," Bulgariaman replied, still standing there. I said I'd see him around but he replied with "I'm heading back to Bulgaria, so if you're around in a year I'll see you around!"
It truly makes me sad to hear about situations like his family. Faith has to be the single most important thing in my life, and I can't imagine failing my child like that, making him think that his faith is reduced to mere holidays and an "eff it" point of view. I will not fail the family of my future like that.

The Sound Of It All

Do you have friends that are super awkward when it is silent? I don't like that. In fact, that has to be one of my only requirements in a friendship: comfortable silence. Even up to a few years ago, I did not understand the importance of silence in my life. I walked around with my headphones in at all times, I surrounded myself with people who didn't just talk- but they talked a lot. At one point I recognized that something was missing in my life. It might have been peace, it might have been relaxation in general. What I did need to change was the amount of silence in my life. It took a while to become the more silent person I am today, but now I feel comfortable in silence.
Some days, I just roll down all the windows and turn off my iPod and just listen to the wind. Sometimes I don't want to watch movies because I just don't want the empty noise. Some days I just choose not to hang out with people. A lot of people have been offended by that, but I promise you, it's just me. Sometimes I just need to appreciate the importance of being quiet.
I guess that's why I never feel too awkward in silence.. I've just learned to appreciate it. That might also be why I'm so weird on the phone, because silence on the phone is just that. Weird. So sorry if we ever talk on the phone and I seem uncomfortable.. i don't mean to be!

Question of the blog:
Sometimes I listen to music that reminds me of silence. I know that makes no sense, but listening to Sigur Ros gives me memories... Like I'm looking back in time, and I'm not listening to music. I guess you would only understand if you tried it. Are there any bands that have no direct correlation to your memories, that still bring back memories despite?

How Grand?

Today I have been living without regret. There are no drawback in my life. Nothing of inconvenience. All is as it should be, and I am learning and growing through each and every moment.
Bedrock was mine today-- Or, I was Bedrock's. Yes, the latter. Basking in the sunlight and devoting my time to studying God and His words. This day seems much like any other, but it is truly much better. No day is the same and today has been simply spectacular.
Very grand.

[The Christian] does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the roof of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines on it. -C.S. Lewis.

Adventure Update

Praise the Lord. Sometimes, friends come and go. I talked about that with two friends I hold very close to my heart, but often don't see them for quite a while. Well, we spent some beautiful time at the river today at this nice secluded spot, and just caught up on life. I also found out that one of them wants to go to San Diego.. The same time I did! So the plan is that my two dumpling darling friendsies and I are going to drive down there for Labor Day weekend and adventure around there with my nice little boyfriend and Jillian's family and maybe Mollie's friend. How fun! Spear fishing, Pet Kingdom, or just some good wholesome beach time, I am so excited to get down there and escape for a few days. Not only that, but I am very grateful for the chance to do this with two friends I haven't seen much of all summer, that we can catch up and grow close once again. God is good to me. I pray that this trip works out and it all goes smoothly. If you're in or around San Diego at that time and would like to meet up, let me know!

To Get Away For Just A Moment

For a silly hometown girl like me, you wouldn't think that I'm very adventurous. But YEAH. I consider myself somewhat adventurous. I could try to please you with all of the things I consider to be adventurous...but...
Despite anything protruding from my lips or being typed upon this keyboard, you may still think I'm pathetic and a total baby. I'm not! I'm not!
I was thinking about a future adventure today. I've always wanted to try sky-diving...
But then I look today at some of my friend's pictures.. They've all done that! How lame! I'm going to do something else. I can't be adventurous if everyone else is doing it. My boyfriend has been a great help in the spontaneous/adventurous aspect of my life. I'm glad there is a person in my life that feels comfortable just up and going to Tahoe with me for the afternoon, or taking someone to their work 25 minutes away because they ran out of gas. It's wonderful to know people that inspire your spontaneous side. I feel like there are a lot of things on our list to do that could be really, like visiting Yosemite, or spear fishing, or going to Costa Rica. One thing I would love to do would be to visit an Amish group and live with them for a while. I feel like even simple things like cooking new dishes is a break away from ordinarity.

Okay, I know "ordinarity" isn't a real word, but I think it should be.

There are some ideas that are just fun ones I might never get around to doing in my life, but at least the dream of it is there, and that's really exciting to me. That being said I love having adventurous people in my life, they make me feel like I'm not just a fool wanting to do things out of my ordinary schedule.
Screw the Bucket List, I want to do adventurous things now.

Question of the blog:
What is on your list of adventures?

Avatar: The Last Airbender... As Opposed to Avatar Period.

Let me be honest for one second.
This sucks!

This stinkin' movie called "Avatar" is coming out in December. No, this is not Avatar: The Last Airbender. All of these Avatar period. trailers keep coming out, and I watch until the very end thinking, wow, M. Night Shameliomanom is really going out there for this movie... I didn't even see Aang in the previews..? And then I realize it's the other Avatar movie that doesn't have anything to do with anything! Aang called the name a long time ago! I wish Avatar period. would just get a new name and stop psyching me out for the most anticipated movie of my life!
PS I'm in love with Aang. Don't try to stop me because I've got the avatar on my side.

Stinky Avatar period. trailer. That ruins my life.


The REAL Avatar: The Last Airbender.



Question of the blog:
I know some of you (sister) would never even bother to watch either. But if you had to pick one, which movie would you rather see, Avatar: The Last Airbender, or Avatar period?

My Type Of Shopping

Yesterday, I went shopping.
I bought a vest, two blouses, and a skirt.
Guess how much I spent? nothing.
I love Crossroads Trading Co. for these reasons: I hate spending money, and I love getting rid of clothes I don't like anymore.
Ahh the joy of trade.

Question of the blog:
Be honest, what was the last thing you bought for over $20?

While We're On The Topic Of the 80's...

So many options I never thought of!

Sista, Sista, Never Knew How Much I Missed Ya.

I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard when I first saw this on my sister's blog.



Now that you've seen the most hilarious video of my life, I thought I might as well bring up my sister again. I miss her. So much.

Getty Museum

Uncle Toby's bathroom. Where we always take photos.

Maria's. I feel like every time we go to Maria's we decide to look disgusting in every photo. (See next photo as well)

So hot.

Moorea, Miles, and Zandra day. Moorea is so beautiful.

Blockbuster. We have gone through such silly hair transformations!

Thanksgiving 2005.

I miss her oodles of noodles. And I thought I'd add this to my A.D.D. label/list because we both suffer from it considerably. Love ya.
...Husband...

Listed.

This week:
1. Go somewhere out of Nevada County. Santa Cruz?
2. Buy material for Miles's sweatshirt.
3. Think about getting my hair trimmed.
4. Don't be lazy. Exercise every day even if just for a little bit.
5. Stay busy.
6. Finish Mere Christianity.
7. Figure out work situation.
8. Plan for labor day weekend.

This is how I feel I have changed recently.
1. I am more forgiving. I am learning to let things go.
2. I feel as inspired as ever for some things. I guess I've always felt inspired, but lately...
3. I have become much more independent. This summer helped me a lot, because I was put in a position of responsibility over lots of little girls each week. Keeping them safe, happy, and busy on my own gave me the opportunity to learn to rely on myself instead of searching for what other people needed me to do.
4. Lately, I have been inspired to be more spontaneous. Snaps to Andy for helping me out.
5. I am inspired to do well in school. I will stay inspired.

I need to work on:
1. Staying in contact with close friends that are leaving. I need your help, too though. Please be patient and don't expect me to put all the effort into our friendship. I need help from you too.
2. Getting in shape. In more shape? Better? What?
3. Being okay with living at home.

PS I Love You

Saddest movie ever? Yes.
Worst choice to watch the day someone special to me leaves? Yes.
Worst choice to watch the day I find out someone I know is dying? Yes.
Good one Zandra.

This is basically what I looked like the entire movie, except way less cute.


Question of the blog:
What movie can make you cry like a baby?

Regular

I've been working at Sushi Q for a year or more now, and there are quite a few regulars that come in weekly, or even 2 or 3 times a week. I was just given some tragic news that one of the regulars who I have come to know and love was put on hospice today. I never thought that I would be so greatly affected by a regular from my work. I am going to miss her so much.

Heidi Klum, Death In the Chair, and Wisdom Teeth

Well, this blog was going to be a step back in time where I would have posted a picture from this date on a previous year. It just so happens to be that last year on this day, I had my wisdom teeth removed. All I can say is that there are no pictures from that day that should be released on the internet.
I don't know if I've already told this story on my blog, but here it is. I went into the oral surgeons around this time of day, on this day, last year. As they put on the laughing gas, I smiled and it was great. All of a sudden I thought of the movie, "Awake" which I had not seen but I had watched commercials. I started thinking, oh my gosh. They are going to put me under and then they are going to kill me. I am going to die in this chair. And I was freaked out! But I couldn't stop smiling!!!! So here I am, this pathetic girl strapped into a dentists chair smiling on the verge of tears.
As the oral surgeon came in, I hear, "Are you related to Seal?" Unintentionally smiling, I said, "nooo..." The two nurses were walking right behind him and as they sat down, one said, "Did you know he's married to Heidi Klum?" The surgeon sits down to poke me in the arm. "And they have two kids or something."
I look up, feeling drunk and sloppy from the laughing gas, and said, "Heidi Klum is the director of project runway!"
Poke.
The surgeon said, "What?"
"Heidi Klum is the director of project runway!"
And I was out. A couple of hours later (I think?) I went home with ice packs strapped on my face, pissed to be alive. I slept. I iced. I refused to see people. Oh and then I started school two days later!
Worst decision ever. Learn from my mistake- give your face at least a week to heal before you go to your first day of college.
I'll spare you from the "healing" weeks to come in my story, but let me tell you I honestly thought I was going to die at two points in the healing process because of some... technical difficulties in my system. Vicodin and Zandra do not mix.

Two Points

Point one.
How comforting is it to open your eyes and see someone there for you? Not just near you or around you, but for you.


Point two.
I was talking with Andy about self-worth and I realized that I have improved so greatly in the past year. I struggled a lot last year with feeling like I was worth it and that I was good enough, and it took a lot for me to recognize that I was trying to think the wrong way. In fact, God does think I am good enough, no matter what mistakes I have made and continue to make. I am worth it. I am worthy only because of the grace and forgiveness that I have been given. It is so beautiful! Just thinking about how I felt so unworthy of things... I deprived myself of the things that I needed as a human. "We accept the love we think we deserve." I know now that I do deserve a lot more than what I gave myself.

MOM!!! MOM!!!

Look what I made tonight!


Andy's mom does a lot of beading, and she and I had a bead date tonight. I made these fun earrings. So happy.


So fun.


And they only took me three hours! (minus multiple food/dancing/guitar hero watching breaks.)


I am so proud of myself! Special thanks to Andy and Jill for helping me out on the home stretch of putting them together. Sho sho fun!


Question of the blog:
Have you learned to make anything fun recently?

Check Up

Let's see how I'm doing on my New Year's Resolutions for this year...
(Just because some are checked off does not meant that I will not continue to do them.)

1. Learn to be happy alone. -I feel like God has taught me so much about myself this summer. I feel confident and safe when I am alone. Yes, I do miss things, and I do miss people. But I have improved incredibly. I don't think I can ever fully put a check mark on this one. Part check.
2. Get better sleep. Meaning no more staying up past 12:30 on a regular basis. -Camp helped me with this... But I've been lacking the past few weeks. Eep! This is an on and off check mark.
3. Spend lots of time with the little sister. When I was 13, I always felt very alone. -We've been able to spend some quality time with each other the past few weeks. It's really hard being a 19 year old in college and her being a 14 year old who is about to go into high school. We have very different life schedules but I am really trying. Part check.
4. Improve/expand vocabulary. 'Nuff said. -I need to work on this some more. Hmm... No check yet.
5. If not work at Camp Hammer this summer, at least volunteer for 2 weeks. -I worked at Wolf Mountain! Check!
6. Learn to control my emotions. -I learned how to control a lot of my emotions at camp. I still have a lot to work on, but this summer I was taught patience and I think my heart is able to hold more without bursting. There were certain experiences I had to deal with at camp where I wish I could have just broken down and cried, but it taught me to be stronger for the people around me, for my girls especially. Part check.
7. Stay fit! -Woo! This one is a check I think. I am very motivated to get/stay fit from camp.

8. Read more books. -At camp, I wasn't able to read much besides the bible, but I did read a ton from the bible which was great. Right now I'm reading Mere Christianity and I have a few more in my list. Check.

9. Save money for new camera. Nikon D50? D80? -I have settled for a d40. I am planning to purchase my new baby in approximately 3 paycheks. Soon to be check!
10. learn to stand up for myself. Do what is best for me! -Yes. I think I am doing this! Part check.

11. Stop being afraid that people will not like me. I realized that thats just life, and some people will like you and some people wont, and I shouldn't get as offended as I do. -I have become a lot more confident in this. A friend from camp taught me a lot about confidence in yourself and that it's okay if people don't like you. Part check.
12. Get lots of more music. -I'm doing so well at this. I love when my friends share music with me. Check!
13. Watch more movies that I have never seen before. -The one thing that I actually got done while I was sad. haha! Check!


All in all... I'm glad it's only August. I have a lot of work to do still.

Question of the blog:
How are your New Year's Resolutions coming along?

Touch The Sky

Gravity pulls me as I fly down towards the earth,
My heart beats fast and I can feel my skin sagging down like a woman after many long hard years.
I am pushing myself downwards so that maybe something will be there to lift me up in return.
And I focus on that pull, of the intensity at how bad the earth wants to be close to me.
I hit the center mark, and am shot.
I fly like a free bird soaring on the most glorious sunset wind,
And I am free,
I push my chest out and breath in to clean air and I open my eyes as I near towards the sky,
The wind kisses my forehead, kisses my cheeks.
Holds me tight, not for long enough.
as I sail backwards towards the earth, and I fall. Fall. Fall.

But the pendulum keeps going and I keep swinging on that rusty swing with a blue seat and I am touching the chains that hold me safe and they are old and worn out but so shiny and they keep shining and I will keep swinging as long as my heart is beating and my feet keep pushing until there is nothing left to swing for and sometimes all you need is to swing life away and that moment you touch the sky and you feel like you could shoot on forever and never touch this earth again you are kissed and comforted and then he lets you go.

Local on the Z's

Bad idea of the day: Going on a run on a smoky day like this.

My iTunes: so bad at shuffling songs today. It keeps going in order!

Decided: In two or three paychecks, I am going to buy a Nikon d40.

The day ahead: Making a summer sandwich, taking a legitimately long and thorough shower, coffee with Andy, and work.

I promised myself I would stay active and busy once I left camp. I have succeeded so far!

Question of the blog:
Now that summer is coming to an end, I am reviewing and looking back at my favorite memories to blog about. What was one of your favorite memories from the summer?

Psalm 30:11, 12

You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give your thanks forever.
-Psalm 30:11, 12

Photo found on deviantart

To Eat, Or Not To Eat

I'm trying to get healthy, and fit..
But all I want right now is to watch Coraline and eat everything so that my great big food baby is large and happy. Grrr I am craving everything delicious in the world.

Autumn Autumn Autumn...

After spelling that three times, autumn looks SO WEIRD.
One of my favorite things in the whole wide world is this:
Cold days. windy days where your hair is blowing everywhere and it just won't stay put. It's sunny, but you're cold. Your legs have that twinge of chill as you're walking back to your car. The class you just left wasn't that interesting, and you think, what the heck am I going to do after this? You are irritable, but deep down inside, you know that something so simple could make your day perfect. You unlock the door, and sit in your car.
And there it is.
Stillness, heat. You squish down into your comfy seat and just sit there, enjoying the stillness of the air and the sun pouring down into you through your car. I love it. That is one of the things I am most excited for in autumn. Cold windy sunny days, and warm still peaceful cars.

Question of the blog:
What is one of your favorite things about Autumn?

Home Is Where The Heart Is.

Ever since I was a small child, I remember driving down my street, waving, and our neighbors would give us a quick wave and a smile in return. I love that. I live at the end of a small street, hills at your feet and the trees cover over you like you are in a blanket of safety. Home is where the heart is. I love my home, I love living in Nevada City, and I love the people around me. Throughout my childhood, those waves from my neighbors meant that I was home.
Over the past few years, older folk have left our street, and twenty something hipsters have taken their place. I hear bongo drums late at night and will drive down my street the next morning to see entire trash cans full of empty alcohol containers. I have no problem with this. I actually sort of expect it from late twenty year olds living in down town Nevada City. I just wish they would wave at me.
As I came home every weekend this summer, I hoped and prayed for the hipsters to wave and smile at me as I came home. I guess I have this secret expectation that I will be greeted like Edward was at the end of Big Fish. Sure it won't ever happen, but I wish these hipsters would just wave at me. I miss that a lot.
It sort of feels as though this new style of person has taken over our street and turned it into an impersonal thing. I have been living at this house for 15 years now, and for the first time, I feel like an outsider.

From the movie, Garden State.
Andrew: You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.
Sam: I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew: You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place.

Circle, Circle, Dot Dot

Sometimes I like to resort back to my childhood, even for just a few minutes.
Today, I taught Andy how to make cootie catchers. Remember cootie catchers? They were freakin awesome back in the day. You'd write all the cute boys in your class and whoever you got on the cootie catcher would be your one true love or something. It was great.
Anyways, we made a couple today! And it was so fun. He made a creatures-of-the-sea one, and I could not stop laughing at all the creatures he had written.


Love it. I got a Narwhal one time! Hahah oh goodness. I encourage you to make a cootie catcher if you haven't made one in the last.. 10 years of your life. Resort back to your childhood for a little bit, you deserve it.

Speaking of cooties, this makes me laugh so hard. Enjoy!


Question of the blog:
At one point in my childhood, I seriously believed in cooties. I did not want to touch boys (except for beating that kid up when I was in 4th grade. Some how, I did not obtain cooties from that contact.) Did you ever believe in cooties? How did they affect your childhood?

Glimpse Of Heaven

Tonight I saw the prettiest meteor I have ever seen in my life.

Lying on a tan lawn chair
My head resting on a shoulder I enjoy so much
A warm black blanket to keep the wind away
Looking up at the stars,
and I feel like I could look into eternity.
The stars shine and they move,
Like God is continually winking at me.
A father saying, "Good job."
"I love you."
"You are beautiful."
And it is beautiful.
As one small meteor was thrown across,
another passed.
They were here as fast as they were gone,
dainty and fragile like a child you just met.

What I love about meteor showers, is the unexpectancy.
You look and you search, but it is not you that's doing the work.
God will bring you the gift when He brings it to you.
I turned my head upwards,
and there it was. The most stunning piece of artwork I have ever seen.
The meteor was strewn across the sky so far and with such elegance, it left a trail behind it that took my breath away. I didn't expect to see such a beautiful sight tonight, and not at that moment.

God has placed some incredible moments in my life that were not expected. Some moments felt tragic, others felt like complete miracles. I'm not talking about moments in nature, but the experiences I have with other people, and the things I have gone through in life. As I thought, "Where have you been?" tonight, I know that God has spent a lot of time preparing me to be the person I am today, and that he put previous experiences in my life so that I could be this person.
I am learning how beautiful life is when you just open your eyes, with your face turned towards God. That is when you catch glimpses of heaven.

Today is an off day, alright?
I want my independence. Today I bought my own groceries, I listened to the music that I bought myself, and I made my own plans for the day.
Then I went home to put my groceries in my parent's fridge. I turned off the iPod my dad bought me for my birthday. And I had to reschedule my plans because of a dentist's appointment.
Sometimes I think that I am in a bad mood but I realize that I am just not satisfied with my current state. And that's always true with me. I am always growing, always changing, always learning, and I know that I need it. It's just a stretch when I realize that I rely so much on other people, and then I turn back to my baby ways. It's true, and this I do recognize: I cannot be very independent. I would be no where without my family and without their help and support. I just feel like such a burden sometimes because I am still at home.
Many of my dear friends are leaving for college soon. Some for the second time around and many for the first. Sometimes God just puts me in pickles where one of me says, "Get me out of here! Independence!" and the other part asks, where has my childhood run to?

What Is It About...

(all pictures found on Google)

Grape-nuts? They are so great. For the past week, I can't stop eating at least two bowls a day. They don't even taste that good, but I can't resist them. I sort of go through food obsessions for a while.
It first started my freshman year of high school, where I could and would eat an entire bag of Pirate's booty and still crave more. I spent a lot of money that.

Next was Oregon Chai Tea. I still love Oregon Chai a whole lot, but I cannot eat Pirate's Booty, and have not eaten it for about 4 years.


Then came colored Goldfish. I remember the moment I decided to stop eating them: my dad bought me a 3 pound container of colored goldfish, and I opened it and almost threw up. I still don't eat colored goldfish much..


I have a lot of silly food things. From about January to June, I made stir fry almost every day. I love how simple it is and yet it tastes so gooood (Agustus Gloop voice). Just throw some vegetables in a pan with oil and soy sauce and pile it on some rice. Comfort food.

I also have this thing for cheese and crackers. Carr's table water crackers and some Colby Jack cheese, and I am in heaven.

Now that I've ranted about all of this food, I think it's time to overeat and wipe out everything from my kitchen. camp has made my stomach grow 25789 times the size it was in May, which serves me no good besides an epic food baby.

Question of the blog:
Is there any food that you think you could just never get sick of? Why do you like it so much?

Everything Is A-Okay

Wowie, sorry for the lack of posts lately. I am home from camp finally, and from house sitting. In about 7 minutes I will be entering my very own bed for the first time in what seems like eternity. I am not excited to be home. I am not excited to wake up to people in my bathroom, or to walk into the kitchen and it not smelling like my house. I am excited to spend time with my parents and with my little sister. God has changed me a lot this summer, and I want to show them how I have changed for the better. It will be hard making the best of living at home again, but I will manage. God wants me here, at least for this semester. I have some things I need to take care of and I've got some people that I must watch over. I feel that I have been well prepared this summer for a good future in taking care of others. I love to care for others, and now I have a better understanding when it comes to children and making a difference quickly in peoples lives. I am very sleepy, but I am going to write some blogs tomorrow. You can count on it, my friend!
Sweet dreams my little babies.

There's Always Room For One More On My Little Red Wagon.

Summer camp is over! I can't even believe this. My summer went by so fast.. This blog is not going to be me reminicing on the past couple months, I'm just going to focus on this week. I have yet to have a good solid cry about the fact that I'm not counseling at camp any more this summer. When I have had that good cry though, I will post a blog sort of summarizing my summer. Summer-izing, per-say.

This week was full of incredibly fun kids. I belayed the ropes course twice this week, which is one of my favorite things at camp. It's a great way to gain trust with the kids and to help them go a little bit outside of their comfort zone.

My girls and I at the slip and slide! We had a bunch of fun as always =]

It's incredibly how much unity a group of people can create just by having fun together. I didn't like to force cabin unity on my girls, but instead just give them opportunities to grow together, to have fun together, and to get to know each other better.

Counselor Hunt! I won!!!! Bugle's cabin dressed me, and it was so much fun to see how well they worked together. I have WAY too much silly string in my hair. It was great!

Christmas Caroling! A couple of my girls were so self conscious about caroling in July, or doing silly stupid things like that. I spent a lot of the week just acting like a complete idiot and making awkward moments available for them. Hehehe

High ropes! This is one of my babies being lowered from the catwalk. She did awesome. We did high ropes as a cabin one day, and all of the girls were so supportive of each other.

This was right after the most heartbreaking and serious Luminaria's of all summer. So afterwards, we ate too much candy, brought out matresses down to the ground and had a fake sleep-out. The girls made silly songs like "Old McMonty had a farm" and danced to their own karaoke.

Monty, Shims, and I spent our time off on Friday just having silly photoshoot adventures. This is Monty at the 22 range. I shot a 22! I think I have before, but I couldn't remember. It was really fun.

This is me doing the ladder jump. It was silly, and I carried a mallet up there with me for the photoshoot. Shims has those photos of me in the air though, so sorry I didn't get any epic action shots.

My girls and I. I'm going to miss all of them so much. We had a super fantastic week full of adventure and fun. Our cabin huddles were incredible, and they had so many questions. They are all such inspirations in my life and I am so glad God has built me up to be the person I am today. God prepared me for this week all summer, and I'm just so joyful for the opportunity to counsel these girls. Gah. This week was great. This whole summer was great, but I'll save that for next time.

Question of the blog:
Did you ever go to summer camp as a kid? What was your favorite memory from it?

Adventure Itch

I am home. And I now have an incredible itch to get out of here...
San Francisco is on my list, and I think I'll be going in the next week.
But I want to go somewhere that I've never been before!
I want New Zealand. Or just mountains. Backpacking and rivers.
Sleeping outside and spending time with God in nature.
I want to see foreign faces and be with people who want to be with me.
I don't want to forget to read my bible every day. I want to stay
i n s p i r e d
and awake in my walk with God. I've got a couple of people in my life right now that I think will be big helps in that.
Looking back at this summer... I cannot help but smile.
My heart is smiling really big.

Question of the blog:
If you could pack your bags right now and hop on a plane to anywhere, would you? If you could choose one place in the world to travel to, where would you go?