Every week at Bible Study Fellowship, we get these little papers with our lesson on them. All week I have been smelling something odd in my room, something that reminded me of paper covered beds, long hallways, and butt-bearing robes. Yeah, it smells like the hospital. And it sorta weirds me out.
By the way... Most embarrassing moment of my week/month/life so far: I left Caroline's little store today with my iced latte on my roof. A guy drove by pointing and laughing, and I thought, "huh, I have never seen him before." I pull out, and reach down to get a sip. Eff, I said to myself, that's why he was laughing. Eff. Eff. I wonder if it's still on there. I pull in to the Holiday Lodge, and get out to see if it's still on there... Hoping that I could finish off the 14 ounces of the drink I still had left in my 16 ounce cup. Not there. Okay maybe it just flew off down by Caroline's... I'm not worrying. I pull around, and there lies my cup, with milk everywhere, and ice, and a straw. Gleaming in the sun in all it's glory. On the side of the road, and some random raggedy lady is picking up my mess. I pull by, make an awkward smirk of a face like, She knows it's me. Heh. Don't hate me? I wave and mouth, "THANK YOU." To her, and then realize how close "thank you" looks like "eff you" so yeah that's awkward. I pulled away as fast as possible, and I am pretty sure I haven't laughed as hard and as long since post-Luminaria nights at camp. I laughed all the way to school, and then cried in my car from laughing so hard. I must have looked like a psycho woman today. Scatterbrained Sally.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Today Is the Day
That Book.
Wake up with a sore ankle,
what did I do in my sleep?
I'm eating right, it's go time
and I find my worst enemy right behind.
You speak like a drug deal,
my mind is higher and my heart is clear
I will listen to you but know that I tried.
Two plus two times seven,
I fly to you soon.Math test of doom today,
Chelsie I feel your pain.
And I don't like the word, but awkward
can perfectly describe you.
Thank you for talking to me today,
for praying,
I believe you when you say that.
Time for a trim,
calling in. Today.
Please give me rest, slow down my heart.
Bring me comfort when I am truly asking for an
s.o.s.
Thank the Lord my Sociology book
finally came.
One month later. Good one.
what did I do in my sleep?
I'm eating right, it's go time
and I find my worst enemy right behind.
You speak like a drug deal,
my mind is higher and my heart is clear
I will listen to you but know that I tried.
Two plus two times seven,
I fly to you soon.Math test of doom today,
Chelsie I feel your pain.
And I don't like the word, but awkward
can perfectly describe you.
Thank you for talking to me today,
for praying,
I believe you when you say that.
Time for a trim,
calling in. Today.
Please give me rest, slow down my heart.
Bring me comfort when I am truly asking for an
s.o.s.
Thank the Lord my Sociology book
finally came.
One month later. Good one.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Lost?
Failed attempts at get togethers
Out of stock, forgotten essentials
Made me nauseated and sent me home.
But you write such beautiful music,
and you say the prettiest words,
songs on repeat that I'm too poor to buy.
Remembering what I need to,
finally shaving my legs (thank goodness),
tailgated to the river with one speaker out.
Read and I read and I get it,
I understand.
I relate.
Nap, tan, camera, you bring me happiness.
Beauty in the world around me,
I can't find the courage in myself today.
Fed up! Lost? Shaky on the way back up.
Off day, that's it.
You're staying healthy, remember?
I fight off the urge for Mike and Ike's,
and settle for a salad. Hmph.
I want that comfort food,
and my comfort far away.
Get well soon,
xoxo
Out of stock, forgotten essentials
Made me nauseated and sent me home.
But you write such beautiful music,
and you say the prettiest words,
songs on repeat that I'm too poor to buy.
Remembering what I need to,
finally shaving my legs (thank goodness),
tailgated to the river with one speaker out.
Read and I read and I get it,
I understand.
I relate.
Nap, tan, camera, you bring me happiness.
Beauty in the world around me,
I can't find the courage in myself today.
Fed up! Lost? Shaky on the way back up.
Off day, that's it.
You're staying healthy, remember?
I fight off the urge for Mike and Ike's,
and settle for a salad. Hmph.
I want that comfort food,
and my comfort far away.
Get well soon,
xoxo
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Love You, Mr. B
There is nothing more beautiful to me than children and music. And divas make it even better. Passionate teachers give me hope in this world, and you can tell that the kids are passionate because of his teaching. Ugh, I just love this. Makes me want to be a music teacher....
These videos come from the music teacher's own YouTube account, and he has a bunch of videos of his students performing, as well as just being silly and fun divas. It is apparent how much soul the kids have for the music, I wish all kids had this opportunity to learn music with a teacher like that.
Almost all of the songs they perform are ones that were requested by the kids. I would have loved to sing my favorites as a kid... Not "The Cat Came Back" every day of my 6th grade!
Loves it.
Question of the blog:
I know many of my friends already want to be teachers... But if you had to be a school teacher, which subject would you want to teach?
These videos come from the music teacher's own YouTube account, and he has a bunch of videos of his students performing, as well as just being silly and fun divas. It is apparent how much soul the kids have for the music, I wish all kids had this opportunity to learn music with a teacher like that.
Almost all of the songs they perform are ones that were requested by the kids. I would have loved to sing my favorites as a kid... Not "The Cat Came Back" every day of my 6th grade!
Loves it.
Question of the blog:
I know many of my friends already want to be teachers... But if you had to be a school teacher, which subject would you want to teach?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
With Love,
Dear nose,
Please stop sniffling. I know you get irritated by the kitties and I promise I will not sleep with big kitty any more. It's not worth it to you! I will still play with him, but you can count on me to wash my hands before I itch you. Thank you for doing a decent job at smelling lately. It really makes me frustrated when I can't use you when I sleep though, because I don't like breathing through my mouth when I'm dozing off.
Dear ears,
I don't know why you are achy lately. It is hard to sleep when both of you hurt, so I'm glad it's usually just one at a time, so that one can be against the pillow. I have been q-tipping you regularly... I just thought you should know that I'm not letting you down. You hear well but it hurts when you ache and I hear high pitched noises. I promise to lay low and keep quiet.
Dear lungs,
My oh my, how do I even start with you? You are so sporadic that I am continually coughing and breathing funny. I know they've been battling the Swine Flu one door over but come on, you can take it! I will drink some hot tea tonight, just for you, and I will breeeathe in the steam. Let's hope that helps you out mkay? You and me, we're champs. Those swiners ain't got nothin' on us.
Dear Lymph Nodes in neck,
You are so trusty when it comes to the common cold. I can always count on you to let me know when I'm coming down with something, but dang are you sore sometimes. And it's really uncomfortable! Thank you for being there and sucking up whatever bad you can get.
All in all, thanks for doing your job. People are praying for you and I believe in you all.
Love always,
Alexandra Seal
PS Let's all pull our weight in this, I've only got 21 more days till I see Andy and I want all of you at the top of your game!
Please stop sniffling. I know you get irritated by the kitties and I promise I will not sleep with big kitty any more. It's not worth it to you! I will still play with him, but you can count on me to wash my hands before I itch you. Thank you for doing a decent job at smelling lately. It really makes me frustrated when I can't use you when I sleep though, because I don't like breathing through my mouth when I'm dozing off.
Dear ears,
I don't know why you are achy lately. It is hard to sleep when both of you hurt, so I'm glad it's usually just one at a time, so that one can be against the pillow. I have been q-tipping you regularly... I just thought you should know that I'm not letting you down. You hear well but it hurts when you ache and I hear high pitched noises. I promise to lay low and keep quiet.
Dear lungs,
My oh my, how do I even start with you? You are so sporadic that I am continually coughing and breathing funny. I know they've been battling the Swine Flu one door over but come on, you can take it! I will drink some hot tea tonight, just for you, and I will breeeathe in the steam. Let's hope that helps you out mkay? You and me, we're champs. Those swiners ain't got nothin' on us.
Dear Lymph Nodes in neck,
You are so trusty when it comes to the common cold. I can always count on you to let me know when I'm coming down with something, but dang are you sore sometimes. And it's really uncomfortable! Thank you for being there and sucking up whatever bad you can get.
All in all, thanks for doing your job. People are praying for you and I believe in you all.
Love always,
Alexandra Seal
PS Let's all pull our weight in this, I've only got 21 more days till I see Andy and I want all of you at the top of your game!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
As If That's The Way Things Are Supposed To Be.
Food for thought. From the movie Network. Does someone want to watch this movie with me on Friday? Let me know..
(watch this full screen.)
(watch this full screen.)
Thank you Dustin
aghkldgl;aasdkl;
Bleh,
Being sick all weekend was not good. I think I might be doing too much this semester.
Being sick all weekend was not good. I think I might be doing too much this semester.
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.
Breathe Breathe Breathe.
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.
Breathe Breathe Breathe.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Midnight Drawings
I really like my new camera. Jillian and I played with glow sticks last night and had so much fun.
I love Jillian. I like glow sticks. I like my D60. I like night time. Rhett and Link. Flood light. Karate. Smiles. Or whether it be the fact that I have the chutzpah...
I love you forever.
Question of the blog:
Jillian and I grabbed some ice cream from Rite Aid last night, and as I was looking at the different options, I realized there are some that I find absolutely repulsive. Are there any ice cream flavors you would never try?
I love Jillian. I like glow sticks. I like my D60. I like night time. Rhett and Link. Flood light. Karate. Smiles. Or whether it be the fact that I have the chutzpah...
I love you forever.
Question of the blog:
Jillian and I grabbed some ice cream from Rite Aid last night, and as I was looking at the different options, I realized there are some that I find absolutely repulsive. Are there any ice cream flavors you would never try?
Friday, September 18, 2009
Writings
Scatterbrained blog...
When I was a kid, I remember being taught that normal writing was not allowed in college, only cursive was used. HA! I have never used cursive in college. I also remember being taught to never use pen, "always pencil!" Wrong again! Every assignment I turn into my classes have to be in pen. But that's beside the point, which is cursive.
When my younger sister was in elementary school, she learned this handwriting called d'nealian, which is supposed to be some middle between normal and cursive writing? I just googled it and it looks like normal handwriting, so I don't know what the heck she learned in school... But it was this half-and-half mix that made the handwriting of her whole class absolutely awful.
Anyways, this is sort of a questions of the blog, so let's hope you enjoy me asking you questions, because I do really want to know what you guys have to say! 1. Do you remember learning cursive? 2. Do you still use cursive handwriting?
Random fact of the day about me: My favorite month in school is October, because it is my favorite month to write in cursive.
I always hated cursive until my senior year of high school.. I don't really know what changed then, but ever since, I go through little week long phases where I write everything in pretty cursive. 3. What words do you love to write in cursive?
I remember always being jealous of the kids in my class with L's in front of their names- like Lauren, and Lane... Cursive L's are just so beautiful! When I was young, I wanted to marry someone with the last name starting with L.
Cold hearted? Yes. Visually Appealing? Definitely.
Since then I have changed my mind, and I'd go with whatever last name there is to offer. G's are sort of frustrating for me to write though... Kidding kidding, I'm not judgin. 4. Does your signature look anything like your name written plain? Mine is usually just a bunch of squiggles. Alexandra Seal isn't very fun to write in cursive.
I wonder if my elementary school teachers would be proud of my handwriting, or just shun me at how curly and squiggly my words are sometimes.
When I was a kid, I remember being taught that normal writing was not allowed in college, only cursive was used. HA! I have never used cursive in college. I also remember being taught to never use pen, "always pencil!" Wrong again! Every assignment I turn into my classes have to be in pen. But that's beside the point, which is cursive.
When my younger sister was in elementary school, she learned this handwriting called d'nealian, which is supposed to be some middle between normal and cursive writing? I just googled it and it looks like normal handwriting, so I don't know what the heck she learned in school... But it was this half-and-half mix that made the handwriting of her whole class absolutely awful.
Anyways, this is sort of a questions of the blog, so let's hope you enjoy me asking you questions, because I do really want to know what you guys have to say! 1. Do you remember learning cursive? 2. Do you still use cursive handwriting?
Random fact of the day about me: My favorite month in school is October, because it is my favorite month to write in cursive.
I always hated cursive until my senior year of high school.. I don't really know what changed then, but ever since, I go through little week long phases where I write everything in pretty cursive. 3. What words do you love to write in cursive?
I remember always being jealous of the kids in my class with L's in front of their names- like Lauren, and Lane... Cursive L's are just so beautiful! When I was young, I wanted to marry someone with the last name starting with L.
Cold hearted? Yes. Visually Appealing? Definitely.
Since then I have changed my mind, and I'd go with whatever last name there is to offer. G's are sort of frustrating for me to write though... Kidding kidding, I'm not judgin. 4. Does your signature look anything like your name written plain? Mine is usually just a bunch of squiggles. Alexandra Seal isn't very fun to write in cursive.
I wonder if my elementary school teachers would be proud of my handwriting, or just shun me at how curly and squiggly my words are sometimes.
A Year and Three Weeks In
And they still don't know my name.
"Anne Seal?"
"Here, and I go by Alexandra."
"Oh, is that your middle name?"
"...One of them."
*Whole class* "Tell us your whole name!"
"Really?"
"YEAHH"
"Anne Alexandra Magdalen Ouida Houston Seal."
"Tell us again!!"
"Anne Alexandra Magdalen Ouida Houston Seal."
I was probably the color of a ripe tomato.
"Anne Seal?"
"Here, and I go by Alexandra."
"Oh, is that your middle name?"
"...One of them."
*Whole class* "Tell us your whole name!"
"Really?"
"YEAHH"
"Anne Alexandra Magdalen Ouida Houston Seal."
"Tell us again!!"
"Anne Alexandra Magdalen Ouida Houston Seal."
I was probably the color of a ripe tomato.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Story Of A Champion
Math kills me.
Stay positive... Stay positive...
I will pass this test today.
Blueberry pancakes with mom this morning,
missing my boy and pretending to be old.
Twenty seven days.
Wellington sleeps in the nook of my knees,
keeping me company all through the night.
Headaches and back pains,
remind me to drink more water.
Preparing for hell Saturday 2009:
On occasion I decide to work more than I can handle.
630am-1pm at Caroline's,
Four hours later, work at Sushi Q.
What keeps me afloat?
D60 baby should arrive by Wednesday.
Even Monday if I'm lucky!
Working my way back to financial security.
Weather forecast predicting good things.
Good things, good thoughts, good answers,
good dreams, good day.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Wittle Bebe
Today was my first day at Bible Study Fellowship, and guess who I saw? The mother of one of my FAVORITE CAMPERS OF ALL SUMMER. Lily. Oh my gosh. Made me so happy I wanted to cry. I miss camp, I miss my little babies. Love love love miss miss miss.
This is my girl moment for the day, get over it.
When I went up and said hi, I said, "I don't know if you remember me, but I was Lily's counselor at Wolf Mountain this summer!" She got so excited and said, "STARDUST! I don't even know your real name and I'll probably just call you Stardust! Lily got your letter, you're such a blessing! She misses you."
I'll be honest, I got in my car and my eyes were very teary. I didn't cry, I promise.
I miss my wittle bebes and being called Stardust.
This is my girl moment for the day, get over it.
When I went up and said hi, I said, "I don't know if you remember me, but I was Lily's counselor at Wolf Mountain this summer!" She got so excited and said, "STARDUST! I don't even know your real name and I'll probably just call you Stardust! Lily got your letter, you're such a blessing! She misses you."
I'll be honest, I got in my car and my eyes were very teary. I didn't cry, I promise.
I miss my wittle bebes and being called Stardust.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Shine On Until Morning
As I was driving to Caroline's this morning (the only way I could have suppressed the loss of $630 was by getting a latte), I was reminded of this memory I had from when I was a kid.
When my family went on long trips down to Long Beach to visit our extended family, I would sleep and sleep all through the early morning, and I remember waking up to little shiny glitters on the ceiling, like Tinker Bell was dancing around my car. It was my mom's watch reflecting the sun into our car, shattering it into tiny glistening dancers around the roof. I loved seeing that, it was so comforting to me.
Question of the blog:
As a kid, I vividly remember my mom wearing this necklace with colorful wooden fish, and my dad wearing a Saint Christopher pendant with a shark tooth on a necklace. Do you remember any specific jewelry your parents wore when you were a kid?
When my family went on long trips down to Long Beach to visit our extended family, I would sleep and sleep all through the early morning, and I remember waking up to little shiny glitters on the ceiling, like Tinker Bell was dancing around my car. It was my mom's watch reflecting the sun into our car, shattering it into tiny glistening dancers around the roof. I loved seeing that, it was so comforting to me.
Question of the blog:
As a kid, I vividly remember my mom wearing this necklace with colorful wooden fish, and my dad wearing a Saint Christopher pendant with a shark tooth on a necklace. Do you remember any specific jewelry your parents wore when you were a kid?
Monday, September 14, 2009
To Turn, Turn, Will Be Our Delight.
Emotionally exhausting nights.
Chats with friends whose dear ones are going.
Going, not yet gone.
Reading the words of a dream of a dream.
And here you are, glowing sun.
The miracle camera that came out of no where,
is gone and yet again is out of my grasp.
He and I search around,
I am done crying.
Not for the camera, or maybe just a little bit.
I focus on reality, I'm not as prepared as I thought.
He helps me out and we settle on
two lenses
no bag
d60
and we Buy It Now.
My heart is jumping with thoughts rushing,
white water rushing,
through my head.
On love, on life, on marriage, on death.
On kitties, on growing old, on feelings.
Cameras, books, on cold nights alone.
It's late,
but what I want right now is to snuggle up to
w h a t I m i s s m o s t .
I'm going to read instead,
good night moon.
I have another day that I must face tomorrow.
And the next, and the next, and the next...
We will keep going,
I pray for you and I love you.
You are in my heart.
Reach out, touch faith.
I say it in repetition like a Shaker tune.
Tis a gift to be simple, tis a gift to be free...
Chats with friends whose dear ones are going.
Going, not yet gone.
Reading the words of a dream of a dream.
And here you are, glowing sun.
The miracle camera that came out of no where,
is gone and yet again is out of my grasp.
He and I search around,
I am done crying.
Not for the camera, or maybe just a little bit.
I focus on reality, I'm not as prepared as I thought.
He helps me out and we settle on
two lenses
no bag
d60
and we Buy It Now.
My heart is jumping with thoughts rushing,
white water rushing,
through my head.
On love, on life, on marriage, on death.
On kitties, on growing old, on feelings.
Cameras, books, on cold nights alone.
It's late,
but what I want right now is to snuggle up to
w h a t I m i s s m o s t .
I'm going to read instead,
good night moon.
I have another day that I must face tomorrow.
And the next, and the next, and the next...
We will keep going,
I pray for you and I love you.
You are in my heart.
Reach out, touch faith.
I say it in repetition like a Shaker tune.
Tis a gift to be simple, tis a gift to be free...
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Late Night Rant
What is it about tonight? I wake up feeling awful, my day is mediocre, and I was not so excited to work. But work. went. so. incredibly. great! Goodness, I don't even know! It was just one of those nights that had potential to be bland, but really just rejuvenated me, and the reasons aren't even that great, but they are meaningful and beautiful.
I work with some really great girls. Sometimes a few of them really get under my skin, but tonight went really well in terms of getting along with them. There was a moment where I was feeling anxious and annoyed, but I received two text messages from two very important people to me, both regarding prayer. I was instantly reminded of the people that believe in me, and that care enough to put me in their prayers. How encouraging!
Tonight must have been family night for all of Nevada City, because there were SO many kids at Sushi Q tonight! I have been very pessimistic the past few days about this generation of parents, because I see less and less manners in kids and more careless behavior. But tonight, all of the kids were so gracious and lovely. There was a newborn with her tattooed mom, there were my favorite Asian/Hawaiian kids with their dad, kids who had just come from soccer practice... They were all so precious and beautiful. There must have been 7 different tables throughout the night with children, and it was so much fun just watching them play and be kids. I miss that at work sometimes, because we generally have just adult customers.
There was a couple that came in tonight that hadn't made a reservation, but I felt as though I should seat them, so we squeezed them into the smallest table at work. They were so grateful and spent the whole night hanging out with us and asking for sushi guidance. At the end of the night we gave them a complimentary dessert because it was their anniversary, and they just loved it! As they were leaving and saying thank you, the wife turned around and looked at us and said, "It's been 20 years. I can't believe it! And I still like him!"
Ugh. It was so cute. Just made my heart melt. I am excited about that one day.
Tonight was just so family oriented, and it really made my heart happy.
My life is a blessing, you are a blessing to me.
To you, I miss you. I like you. And I'll be seeing you soon.
To you, thank you for caring for me. Your friendship means the world to me.
To you, you are in my prayers, and that is the best I can do. But you are in my prayers, know that.
To you, I'll always be your friend, and you never need to worry about that.
To you, it is so beautiful to see you happy. You deserve that, you deserve the best, and I think you found it.
To you, and you, and you, good night. This is a blessing.
ps I'm going to do math right now! I am excited! Don't tell though!
Question of the blog:
I'm reading A Grief Observed, by C.S. Lewis right now. He has to be one of my very favorite authors. Who is your favorite author?
I work with some really great girls. Sometimes a few of them really get under my skin, but tonight went really well in terms of getting along with them. There was a moment where I was feeling anxious and annoyed, but I received two text messages from two very important people to me, both regarding prayer. I was instantly reminded of the people that believe in me, and that care enough to put me in their prayers. How encouraging!
Tonight must have been family night for all of Nevada City, because there were SO many kids at Sushi Q tonight! I have been very pessimistic the past few days about this generation of parents, because I see less and less manners in kids and more careless behavior. But tonight, all of the kids were so gracious and lovely. There was a newborn with her tattooed mom, there were my favorite Asian/Hawaiian kids with their dad, kids who had just come from soccer practice... They were all so precious and beautiful. There must have been 7 different tables throughout the night with children, and it was so much fun just watching them play and be kids. I miss that at work sometimes, because we generally have just adult customers.
There was a couple that came in tonight that hadn't made a reservation, but I felt as though I should seat them, so we squeezed them into the smallest table at work. They were so grateful and spent the whole night hanging out with us and asking for sushi guidance. At the end of the night we gave them a complimentary dessert because it was their anniversary, and they just loved it! As they were leaving and saying thank you, the wife turned around and looked at us and said, "It's been 20 years. I can't believe it! And I still like him!"
Ugh. It was so cute. Just made my heart melt. I am excited about that one day.
Tonight was just so family oriented, and it really made my heart happy.
My life is a blessing, you are a blessing to me.
To you, I miss you. I like you. And I'll be seeing you soon.
To you, thank you for caring for me. Your friendship means the world to me.
To you, you are in my prayers, and that is the best I can do. But you are in my prayers, know that.
To you, I'll always be your friend, and you never need to worry about that.
To you, it is so beautiful to see you happy. You deserve that, you deserve the best, and I think you found it.
To you, and you, and you, good night. This is a blessing.
ps I'm going to do math right now! I am excited! Don't tell though!
Question of the blog:
I'm reading A Grief Observed, by C.S. Lewis right now. He has to be one of my very favorite authors. Who is your favorite author?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Great Success! and A Look Back In Time
Plans for my next trip down to San Diego are already being made!
Thank God for free southwest miles, and random no-class-days.
On an even lighter note, here's a look back in time. This was today, but two years ago. Stina and Jillian at Dustin and Chaney's goodbye party, which wasn't really a goodbye party, and we saw them the next day. Silly photo, nonetheless.
Enjoy the rest of your day!
Thank God for free southwest miles, and random no-class-days.
On an even lighter note, here's a look back in time. This was today, but two years ago. Stina and Jillian at Dustin and Chaney's goodbye party, which wasn't really a goodbye party, and we saw them the next day. Silly photo, nonetheless.
Enjoy the rest of your day!
To Do.
I have new years resolution lists, lists of movies, books... I have a lot of lists, really. So here's another one.
1. visit the holy land
2. buy an expensive pair of jeans for myself
3. change someone's life
4. get married
5. travel to central america
6. be a role model
7. live a life filled with God
8. invest in a great camera
9. Travel with my children
10. be a mommy
11. have my own garden
12. decorate the christmas tree with my husband and kids
13. live in a place with all four seasons
14. plan the perfect dinner party
15. take chances
..A work in progress.
1. visit the holy land
2. buy an expensive pair of jeans for myself
3. change someone's life
4. get married
5. travel to central america
6. be a role model
7. live a life filled with God
8. invest in a great camera
9. Travel with my children
10. be a mommy
11. have my own garden
12. decorate the christmas tree with my husband and kids
13. live in a place with all four seasons
14. plan the perfect dinner party
15. take chances
..A work in progress.
Question of the blog:
What's on your to-do list?
What's on your to-do list?
Completely.
I just finished Mere Christianity.
And I feel like C.S. Lewis and I would have been best friends if he was my age.
So, for those who haven't read C.S. Lewis before, here are two little thoughts he shares in this book that I just thoroughly enjoyed.
That is why the Christian is in a different position from other people who are trying to be good. They hope, by being good, to please God if there is one; or- if they think there is not- at least they hope to deserve approval from good men. But the Christian thinks any good he does come from the Christ-life inside him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the rood of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines on it. -C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, pg. 63
Love in this second sense- love as distinct from 'being in love'- is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be 'in love' with someone else. 'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it. -C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, pg 109
I could honestly quote this book all day with all of the things I felt hit home with my thoughts, but I'll save the excitement for you so that you can experience the book for yourself. I highly recommend it. Now, onto the rest of his books. My boyfriend lent me the complete C.S. Lewis signature classics and I am STOKED.
Question of the blog:
What was the last book you read? Would you recommend it to other people?
I Hope You Don't Mind, I Hope You Don't Mind
That I'm a hopeless romantic... And I love Moulin Rouge so much that I am continually singing songs from the movie. Also, I hope you like my new banner? Sort of a change of pace from my last header. What do you think? You never know, I could hate this one tomorrow and change it on back to the old one.
Old:
New:
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
One Day Will Be Now
Here is where I will write my feelings down, because I feel it much more important to state it plainly rather than trying to keep it in myself, because I have done that for too long.
Fact: I hurt myself too much.
I do not mean I hurt myself physically, but I am very damaging to myself on an emotional, psychological manner. I went through high school catering to other people's needs, and with that was met with some very belittling moments where I was, honestly, treated like crap. I have been hurt and belittled for a long time, and with that I learned how to do one thing very well: join in. I learned that it was much easier for the time being to just laugh along at whatever flaw was apparent at the time. That may have been comfortable at the time, but the aftereffect is that I have now conditioned myself to subconsciously belittle myself constantly. I have learned to joke about my flaws so much that it's a normal practice in my day.
It is bad.
It is very bad.
So here is what I need from you, my readers. I know I usually just ask a silly question each post, but I have a real request from you. I need you to not let me belittle myself anymore. Whether it's making fun of myself in my blogs, or doing it while we're drinking coffee together. I have these incredible, uplifting people surrounding me now, and yet I am still on this old cycle of bringing myself down because I was so used to it when I was with people who more or less did not care for me. I am going to learn to love myself more. I will treat myself better, as a temple, as a beautiful, fun, silly, intelligent woman. Bleagh, woman. I need to work on that word too. I still feel like I am a 13 year old girl but really, I'm nearing twenty years old. Psycho crazy.
So anyways, please do not let me get away with this nonsense any longer. I am mean to myself. How can I be mean to myself when I am so passionate with the meanings love and care?
Also, one of my very good friends reminded me today that Matisyahu just released a new album, called Light. A big thanks to Stina for that, and for Paul who gave me the album. Here is one of the songs on the album, called One Day. Seriously makes me cry. The music video embedding is disabled, so go to this link and listen to a very wonderful song: One Day by Matisyahu
One Day
Fact: I hurt myself too much.
I do not mean I hurt myself physically, but I am very damaging to myself on an emotional, psychological manner. I went through high school catering to other people's needs, and with that was met with some very belittling moments where I was, honestly, treated like crap. I have been hurt and belittled for a long time, and with that I learned how to do one thing very well: join in. I learned that it was much easier for the time being to just laugh along at whatever flaw was apparent at the time. That may have been comfortable at the time, but the aftereffect is that I have now conditioned myself to subconsciously belittle myself constantly. I have learned to joke about my flaws so much that it's a normal practice in my day.
It is bad.
It is very bad.
So here is what I need from you, my readers. I know I usually just ask a silly question each post, but I have a real request from you. I need you to not let me belittle myself anymore. Whether it's making fun of myself in my blogs, or doing it while we're drinking coffee together. I have these incredible, uplifting people surrounding me now, and yet I am still on this old cycle of bringing myself down because I was so used to it when I was with people who more or less did not care for me. I am going to learn to love myself more. I will treat myself better, as a temple, as a beautiful, fun, silly, intelligent woman. Bleagh, woman. I need to work on that word too. I still feel like I am a 13 year old girl but really, I'm nearing twenty years old. Psycho crazy.
So anyways, please do not let me get away with this nonsense any longer. I am mean to myself. How can I be mean to myself when I am so passionate with the meanings love and care?
Also, one of my very good friends reminded me today that Matisyahu just released a new album, called Light. A big thanks to Stina for that, and for Paul who gave me the album. Here is one of the songs on the album, called One Day. Seriously makes me cry. The music video embedding is disabled, so go to this link and listen to a very wonderful song: One Day by Matisyahu
One Day
sometimes I lay
under the moon
and thank God I'm breathing
then I pray
don't take me soon
cause i'm here for a reason
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around because
all my live I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we dont wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play one day..
it's not about win or lose
because we all lose
when they feed on the souls of the innocent
blood drenched pavement
keep on moving though the waters stay raging
in this maze you can lose your way (your way)
it might drive you crazy but dont let it faze you no way (no way)
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so my negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around because
all my live I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we dont wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play one day..
one day this all will change
treat people the same
stop with the violence
down with the hate
one day we'll all be free
and proud to be
under the same sun
singing songs of freedom like
one day..
all my live I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day
under the moon
and thank God I'm breathing
then I pray
don't take me soon
cause i'm here for a reason
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around because
all my live I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we dont wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play one day..
it's not about win or lose
because we all lose
when they feed on the souls of the innocent
blood drenched pavement
keep on moving though the waters stay raging
in this maze you can lose your way (your way)
it might drive you crazy but dont let it faze you no way (no way)
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so my negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around because
all my live I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we dont wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play one day..
one day this all will change
treat people the same
stop with the violence
down with the hate
one day we'll all be free
and proud to be
under the same sun
singing songs of freedom like
one day..
all my live I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Starboard, Acai Bowls, and Long Weekends
This weekend, I went down to San Diego to visit my boyfriend. After traveling a whopping 12 hours in a car, we rushed to make it to our babysitting destination where we swam, made pasta, and gave the kids baths. Of course our trip would not have been complete without watching a show on gangs.
The next morning, we got these delicious Acai bowls, that had granola, this lovely acai and apple juice mixture, bananas, strawberries, and blueberries on top. We sat by the beach and finished those up, and then headed to meet with Alain, a professor at Point Loma. We went on a boat ride!
We had lots of fun for about 25 minutes, and then Andy got really seasick and spent most of the boat ride looking at the coast and sleeping, trying to ease off the barf that was just waiting to spew out.
Despite the seasickness that we both had by the end of the trip, I had a lovely time. My favorite part was just sitting at the very front of the boat as the water occasionally splashed on me, and the sails shaded me from the hot hot heat.
We then proceeded to Alain's house where we swam about and chatted for an hour. Then we had a traditional French meal and headed back to Andy's apartment to watch a movie. Of course I cried.
Sunday morning was spent going to a new church neither of us had ever been to. Andy got a job as an intern with the church's youth group, so we visited the church and went to both services. Not really my style of church but we had fun nonetheless and it was fun meeting new people.
After that we went to this awesome fish market that was in the bay, and boats would drop off fish and they would cook it right there and serve it to you. We had these yummy fish sandwiches and then headed to the ZOO!
Neither of us had ever been to the San Diego zoo, and it was so much fun! We saw the prettiest kitty cats and elephants and birds (but the birds weren't that interesting... besides the one that looked like it had been in a fight with a school bus. This is what it looked like
We saw the pandas and that was so much fun!!! There was this odd wall right next to the panda exhibit, that had professional and not so professional paintings of pandas. This was our favorite:
There is this cool thing called the panda cam online, and you can watch the pandas right now! It's of the mommy and new baby that was born a few months ago. We didn't get to see it in person because the baby is so little and they need to run tests or something..? But here is the pandacam online.
We had dinner at Panera Bread, which was sooo good. I wish there was one around here..
After dinner we saw Inglorious Basterds, which I loved. It was hilarious and all about justice, and Brad Pitt was killer. The violence caught me off guard on multiple occasions, and I was not expecting to see that many scalps separate from their head owners.
After that we traveled around and went to this pretty little beach, and stopped by the view that I'm pretty sure was the scene from Anchorman when Ron Burgundy defines "San Diego"...I won't write it on here but you can Google it if you feel so inclined.
Monday morning we went and grabbed some breakfast at Shade's in OB. Yum Yum spinach and sun dried tomato omelet. I packed up my things and stopped by to see an old friend, and then headed northward to pick up my mommy. We visited my grandparents and then drove home, probably record speed. I don't know how we got home so fast, but I'm very grateful we did and that we stayed safe.
I had a lovely Labor Dar weekend, and I hope you did too!
Question of the blog:
I generally have songs of the moment that I just love to listen to. This weekend I was all about three Daft Punk songs in particular. Do you have any song cravings right now?
The next morning, we got these delicious Acai bowls, that had granola, this lovely acai and apple juice mixture, bananas, strawberries, and blueberries on top. We sat by the beach and finished those up, and then headed to meet with Alain, a professor at Point Loma. We went on a boat ride!
We had lots of fun for about 25 minutes, and then Andy got really seasick and spent most of the boat ride looking at the coast and sleeping, trying to ease off the barf that was just waiting to spew out.
Despite the seasickness that we both had by the end of the trip, I had a lovely time. My favorite part was just sitting at the very front of the boat as the water occasionally splashed on me, and the sails shaded me from the hot hot heat.
We then proceeded to Alain's house where we swam about and chatted for an hour. Then we had a traditional French meal and headed back to Andy's apartment to watch a movie. Of course I cried.
Sunday morning was spent going to a new church neither of us had ever been to. Andy got a job as an intern with the church's youth group, so we visited the church and went to both services. Not really my style of church but we had fun nonetheless and it was fun meeting new people.
After that we went to this awesome fish market that was in the bay, and boats would drop off fish and they would cook it right there and serve it to you. We had these yummy fish sandwiches and then headed to the ZOO!
Neither of us had ever been to the San Diego zoo, and it was so much fun! We saw the prettiest kitty cats and elephants and birds (but the birds weren't that interesting... besides the one that looked like it had been in a fight with a school bus. This is what it looked like
We saw the pandas and that was so much fun!!! There was this odd wall right next to the panda exhibit, that had professional and not so professional paintings of pandas. This was our favorite:
There is this cool thing called the panda cam online, and you can watch the pandas right now! It's of the mommy and new baby that was born a few months ago. We didn't get to see it in person because the baby is so little and they need to run tests or something..? But here is the pandacam online.
We had dinner at Panera Bread, which was sooo good. I wish there was one around here..
After dinner we saw Inglorious Basterds, which I loved. It was hilarious and all about justice, and Brad Pitt was killer. The violence caught me off guard on multiple occasions, and I was not expecting to see that many scalps separate from their head owners.
After that we traveled around and went to this pretty little beach, and stopped by the view that I'm pretty sure was the scene from Anchorman when Ron Burgundy defines "San Diego"...I won't write it on here but you can Google it if you feel so inclined.
Monday morning we went and grabbed some breakfast at Shade's in OB. Yum Yum spinach and sun dried tomato omelet. I packed up my things and stopped by to see an old friend, and then headed northward to pick up my mommy. We visited my grandparents and then drove home, probably record speed. I don't know how we got home so fast, but I'm very grateful we did and that we stayed safe.
I had a lovely Labor Dar weekend, and I hope you did too!
Question of the blog:
I generally have songs of the moment that I just love to listen to. This weekend I was all about three Daft Punk songs in particular. Do you have any song cravings right now?
Cardboard Love
So cutesie!
I am very glad I stumbled upon this site this morning, it is just so precious. I randomly found cardboardlove.com, and it is basically just a site with a little cardboard posting every day. This is what the creator of the site says:
This is my type of cutesie romance. I love it, my heart just melts for this darling couple.
Simply wonderful. Have a beautiful day lovelies.
I am very glad I stumbled upon this site this morning, it is just so precious. I randomly found cardboardlove.com, and it is basically just a site with a little cardboard posting every day. This is what the creator of the site says:
I never really intended for these little bits of cardboard to be a big deal, but the response has been both surprising and uplifting. In general, I am a pretty negative person. This project has been a chance for me to focus on the positive for a change. Some people like these, some think they are lame, to each his or her own. I’m just glad to have someone in my life that makes me not afraid to be lame.
Thank you for visiting. I hope something here makes you smile.
JH
This is my type of cutesie romance. I love it, my heart just melts for this darling couple.
Simply wonderful. Have a beautiful day lovelies.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Cats and Countries
I am leaving for San Diego in about 5 minutes... If it was my preference we would have left 7 minutes ago.
While I was putting my suitcase in the car, I realized that my two cats, Wellington and Adelade, have one main goal in life: liberation. AKA defeating the screen door. That main goal is met with a series of obstacles.
Wellington:
-Deaf
-Probably retarded
-Not sneaky
Adelade:
-Timid
-Shy
-Not proud enough to be sneaky
These flaws basically destroy any hopes for liberation from this house, but come on, who wouldn't want to live in a house where we aim to serve you in every way we can? If only they could see how other cat's are treated, they'd know how great it is to live here! The outside world is not that fun... And Wellington, if you didn't have short term memory loss, you'd remember that that is how we found you... skinny little gray cat abandoned at Bella's elementary school.
On another note, I played this game for the first time yesterday. I would highly recommend it.
THIRD WORLD FARMER. PS I got 501st place sucka.
Kbye I'm finally leaving for SD!! Please pray for our safety (I'm driving with my mom down there. I will drop her off in Laguna Beach area and then continue down to San Diego to meet up with my boyfriend. Yipee! Best weekend ever!
Happy Labor Day if I don't get around to posting by then!
While I was putting my suitcase in the car, I realized that my two cats, Wellington and Adelade, have one main goal in life: liberation. AKA defeating the screen door. That main goal is met with a series of obstacles.
Wellington:
-Deaf
-Probably retarded
-Not sneaky
Adelade:
-Timid
-Shy
-Not proud enough to be sneaky
These flaws basically destroy any hopes for liberation from this house, but come on, who wouldn't want to live in a house where we aim to serve you in every way we can? If only they could see how other cat's are treated, they'd know how great it is to live here! The outside world is not that fun... And Wellington, if you didn't have short term memory loss, you'd remember that that is how we found you... skinny little gray cat abandoned at Bella's elementary school.
On another note, I played this game for the first time yesterday. I would highly recommend it.
THIRD WORLD FARMER. PS I got 501st place sucka.
Kbye I'm finally leaving for SD!! Please pray for our safety (I'm driving with my mom down there. I will drop her off in Laguna Beach area and then continue down to San Diego to meet up with my boyfriend. Yipee! Best weekend ever!
Happy Labor Day if I don't get around to posting by then!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Gesundheit!
Dear world,
I hate sneezing. My older sister loves it, but to me it has to be the most disgusting and unpleasant things in the world. And it just so happens to be that my cat, Wellington, decided to be ultra cuddly/clingy to me today. I am allergic to him.
One of my favorite things in the world, though, is watching people sneeze that don't know that they're being watched. It's silly to see how they react. Some get ready for it, wrinkle their nose or stop mid-walk. Others try to brush it off, or don't even know it's coming. I love when people sneeze and you can just see the satisfaction on their faces afterwards. I know it's borderline creepy stalker, but if you don't like that about me then just don't sneeze alone while in public!
Random fact of the day, the word gezundheit is the German and Yiddish word for good health.
Question of the blog:
Do you like to sneeze? Which do you prefer: yawning or sneezing?
I hate sneezing. My older sister loves it, but to me it has to be the most disgusting and unpleasant things in the world. And it just so happens to be that my cat, Wellington, decided to be ultra cuddly/clingy to me today. I am allergic to him.
(Me, but not the turtleneck or matching lipstick. Also, I'm young and have straight teeth, so this isn't really me at all.)
One of my favorite things in the world, though, is watching people sneeze that don't know that they're being watched. It's silly to see how they react. Some get ready for it, wrinkle their nose or stop mid-walk. Others try to brush it off, or don't even know it's coming. I love when people sneeze and you can just see the satisfaction on their faces afterwards. I know it's borderline creepy stalker, but if you don't like that about me then just don't sneeze alone while in public!
Random fact of the day, the word gezundheit is the German and Yiddish word for good health.
Question of the blog:
Do you like to sneeze? Which do you prefer: yawning or sneezing?
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